How long does it take a guy?

fairycakes

Hi just wondering do you guys think it takes a guy less time to get over a girl then it does for a girl?, I have a friend I am keen on and would like to
ask him out just not sure he is over his ex, its over since Nov. I really don't want to be his "rebound girl"

SarahSassy

Its individual but there is a good chance, if its over since November that he is sorted. Good luck

Wibbs

Like SS said it depends so much on the person and the relationship. Id say gender wise, more women rebound. IME anyway. They have more options so they're more likely to get into another relationship more quickly, plus more women than men find it hard to be single. But people differ so much. How the previous ended might be another indicator. Way more likely if he left her for a start. Even if she left him, November is a fair chunk of change time wise so I'd go for it.

LegacyUser

No, I think it takes guys longer to get over girls than girls to get over guys, esp when a girl has ambition with regards settleing down. Its very hard for a guy to commit to a relationship but when he does, its even harder for guys to get over it.
My last girlfriend was going out with another guy within 2 weeks, It took me 6 months before I was even bothered or intrested in another girl. Girls will also support each other alot better than guys will, and basically push them into going out and getting someone else, its like a girls way of getting over a guy is with another guy, Guys are simply left devestated, confused and betrayed, (not that she cheated, but that everything shes every told is thrown out the window and forgoten, personally, that was the hardest part of breaking up,)
I was on the net and had the tv on in the backround, sex and the city came on in the mean time, one of the girls said, "It takes half the amount of time ye were together, to get over one another, I was going through the break up at the time, so I took notice, as it was one of my main questions I wanted to know, when will these feelings go away. anyways, a month or two later, I realised one day that I hadn't thought about her, in awhile, and when I realised that, I also realised I didn't give a **** about her anymore, and then I remember that half the time thingy, and ya, it was 6 months after we broke up, (we were going out for 12)
now I know people will be different, yadda yadda, but, it was true for me, it was true for the girls in sex and the city, and I'm guessin, if people noticed, their own time scales, its a good bet, it'll be true for them.
But, no, guys dont get over girls any sooner or quicker, saying that, is just stereotyping guys as "assh*les" blah blah blah, think about it, how many times do you see guys crying and pleading dramatically for their once girlfriend etc. etc.
but, if you think hes not over his ex, hes prob not, you'd know otherwise, but meeting someone else is always a good way of fastforwarding the proscess.

whatsamsn

It does depend on the individual person. But it you want to take both men and women as two groups (aka generally who gets over who first)

Women get over men quicker, than men get over women.
Alot of factors to be taken in, such as generally men have to do the chasing. You're average women will get flirted with more so than your average man. Thats just the nature of life. The whole "Men are the chasers, women are the choosers"

Personally I dont think we fully get over someone until we meet someone else we like. You combine that with the realities that men have to do the chasing, women just do the choosing. the answer is sadly, women get over men quicker.


But op he has been single since November. Worst case he is still hurt by his ex... but trust me as a guy, id put money on he is up for having a new relationship even he is hurt.

newtothis2010

Its pretty difficult for us here to definitively comment on a guys state of mind this far after a break up.. (based on how we cope with this kind of stuff, most of it is internalised since we don't like to talk as much as girls!)

e.g. though I considered myself 'fixed' within a few months, it actually took me near 14 months before I wanted to pursue anything with anyone in a more serious fasion, that was after near 4 years with last ex, previous to that after a 5 yr rel I jumped into a new Rel within 2 months and was happy enough for the aforementioned 4 years!.. so it can depend....

with this 'friend'.. have you known him to date anyone else or has he hooked up with anyone briefly that you may know of? Has he given any indication he's into you too? (flirting, wanting to hang out with you more, all those subtle signs)

If he is stil carrying hurt then Op perhaps you're the one to restore his faith in womankind!... Could be the lightbulb moment he needs to realise that he's valued by someone.

As they say, life is too short and if the indications are that he is pretty happy with himself and is carrying himself with a bit of confidence AND that he may be receptive to your advances then go for it.. and if he says 'no' I wouldn't expect to be suddenly blanked by him as a friend either in case that fear is there...

best of luck with it!