Are women crazy? or is it just me?

LegacyUser

Myself and Gf are early 40s..both been round the block so think we know what we're at this time..living together almost a year..totally happy ..no issues at all until this weekend..
Awoke sat morning telling each other how much we loved one another.....and then....

By 11am I was in the middle of a blazing row about who cleans the kitchen more WTF??
Tears and anger from her side ..I calmed things over..
Went out saturday night, things still not great..all of a sudden I was the subject of a verbal assult in pub in front of lots of people..about just about everything..I just stayed quiet and asked that she just calm down please..
She stood up, Lots of finger pointing, cursing, anger (all TOTALLY unlike her..)
She even called me by her ex's name at one stage (seemingly they argued a lot about house hold chores..do I see a pattern here?)
As we left she stated over and over 'oh god we're fcuked aren't we?'

I eventaully calmed her down and told her we should just forget all about all that happened that day..she agreed and has been all about me since..

Eh...WTF is going on ??

And yes before you ask, I do my fair share around the house...and I'm not one for arguements or rowing or shouting...

This came from nowhere and seems to have gone away again just as quick...I'm simply wondering what am I getting myself into here???
Are women mad??

SarahSassy

Absolutely every single women on the planet is mad - WTF. That sounds like the most immature question I have heard in a long time.

I would guess she is totally frustrated with you not pulling your weight around the house. In my case, I am generally easy going until I am pushed too far and I would guess that she has been trying to keep the peace since ye moved in but its gotten too much for her.Obviously she doesnt feel you do your share.

Also its very disresptful to be calling your gf mad....

LegacyUser

UHUH wrote: »

Are women mad??

Let's see, in the space of a YEAR you've only had TWO arguments with your girlfriend, and you ask are women mad. That's great logic. Maybe you're too used to living in your own bubble and expect everyone else to fit in around your life.

You still have a lot of growing up to do, despite what you think.

Kimia

Do you really and truly believe you are pulling your weight? It appears that she has literally exploded and one of the reasons could be that she's doing most of the housework. Every so often I feel like that and I literally feel the rage bubbling in me. Thankfully my bf does his share mostly so I calm down (and in fairness I wouldn't shriek at him in public), but that's what it sounds like to me. She sounds like she is at the end of her tether with you.

Neyite

UHUH wrote: »

I do my fair share around the house

are you sure? your girlfriend doenst seem to think so. she may have bottled it all up and just blew up - you think its coming from nowhere, but it could have years of her just having the kitchen spotless only for you to make a sandwich and not clean up the crumbs after you.

2 choices for you - accept she is 'mad' and cut your losses

or

sit down and tell her you thought about the argument and didnt know that there was something upsetting her. tell her you are prepared to hear her out, and meet her halfway.

the importance each person in a couple put on different tasks can also be a challenge:
in our house there is a standing joke there is clean (my way) and Man-Clean (his way) eg. i do the dishes - wash, dry and put away. Man-Clean is 'steeping' them eg fecking them all in a sink of soapy water and buggering off to watch the footie, and forgetting they exist.:D (not all men do this im sure, but mine used to until i started taking the pi$$)
he is also great at remembering laundry loads, i remember dishwasher loads. etc etc. so maybe now is a good time for a level headed chat?

LegacyUser

Yep...I think you guys are indeed correct !

Thanks for making me see that >>>I kinda did think that but suppose I needed to see it in print...Cheers !



Right where did I put the mop ... lol

SarahSassy

UHUH wrote: »

Right where did I put the mop ... lol

right where did you put the credit card - flowers

good luck.

Mancoach

Hi OP

Are all women crazy? Of course not, that's impossible. But the ability to reason is much more difficult in a woman than in a man just because of the natural biological make up of the two separate sexes. Women generally have less ability to separate emotion from logic.

Men tend to think much more simply than women.They think linearly and focus on what makes most sense. Women, on the other hand, focus on the emotional aspect of situations, causing a completely different response to a scenario, which men can not understand.

Your situation is a case in point. your partner had an emotional response to what would appear to you to be an entirely unemotional situation (house work).

Not much you can do about this i'm afraid and your not the first nor will you be the last man to experience something similar.

As you mention that this behavior was totally unlike her and that the rest of your relationship is fine then probably better to just suck it up on this occasion brother.

Good Luck!

whatsamsn

Op,
anytime someone says anything bad about women as a whole/group/in general on this board you'll get alot of women replying back slating you lol.

To touch upon what Mancoach was saying about women and men being different - your average guy wouldnt gang up on a women on this board if a woman said "all men are jerks" - but vice versa... yeah. you'll get your head ripped off.

so dont look for alot of advice here apart from being ripped apart



But hmmm, sounds like a mood swing or shes upset at something... to wake up and you two are happy. Then for a fight to break out, then calm, then later another fight breaks out. Definitely something going on in her mind. Family problems? other problems? something is on her mind thats for sure. Seems like a "transference argument" - arguing about an unimportant issue while in reality one is venting about another issue.

Just move past it. If it happens again, most likely it'll be another issue if anything happens agian. Then its time to have a chat and see whats going on.

Gyalist

UHUH wrote: »

Yep...I think you guys are indeed correct !

Thanks for making me see that >>>I kinda did think that but suppose I needed to see it in print...Cheers !



Right where did I put the mop ... lol

Unfortunately, I can forsee these outbursts happening again. What you have taught her is that you are OK with her publicly abusing you. Not only that, but you sat there and listened to her and tried to mollify her.

Wagon

That's right everyone, slate the chap for asking a question. She started a fight in the pub and called him a load of names, pretty much telling the place he was a useless pile of shíte. And he should apologise and do his fair share?

UHUH wrote: »

She even called me by her ex's name at one stage (seemingly they argued a lot about house hold chores..do I see a pattern here?)
As we left she stated over and over 'oh god we're fcuked aren't we?'

Everyone seems to have missed this bit. Or else they chose to ignore it. Probably the second one actually! that's what RI is like these days...

I dunno why she called you her exs name. She might have been a little drunk and confused and caught in the heat of battle. I dont know why she would suddenly explode like that out of the blue.

Maybe it has something to do with housework but you never know. Things might be tough in work or something, or she has some family issues or problems with other aspects with her life that she might not have told you about. Could be a lot of things. This is all guesswork.

Talk things through with her and ask her for an explaination. One thing is for sure, screaming you down in front of a pub isn't a nice thing to do, espeically if it was over something like the cleaning, which i think was just an excuse for her to get angry. It's just not on, especially after there was a fight already in the morning where you thought things were sorted.

LegacyUser

Got to echoe what was said by a poster earlier.

It seems the advice on this board can be biased in favour of women most of the time.

You came on her and described what looks like completely unreasonable behaviour on the part of your girlfriend and yet it's seen immediately as that you must have done something wrong/been asking for it.

Your girlfriend lost her head with you in public and you're advised to apologise and buy her flowers!?!?

Do not do this, have some self respect. If your girlfriend has an issue with you, she should come to you and discuss it rationally. Not lose her head with you in public. She's a grown woman, not a child.

It's obvious there is something up with her. Ask her to tell you what it is in a civil manner.

Silverfish

whatsamsn wrote: »

Op,
anytime someone says anything bad about women as a whole/group/in general on this board you'll get alot of women replying back slating you lol.

To touch upon what Mancoach was saying about women and men being different - your average guy wouldnt gang up on a women on this board if a woman said "all men are jerks" - but vice versa... yeah. you'll get your head ripped off.

so dont look for alot of advice here apart from being ripped apart

I'm sorry, but that is simply not true, many posters will post in defence of either gender, so can we please stop dragging threads into this sort of tit-for-tat commentary. There is even a similar thread on men right now, with the same comments being made.

If you have an issue with a post, please use the report post function and let a moderator deal with it, and please keep replies on topic and helpful to the OP
Thank you.

whatsamsn

Silverfish,
why did you delete my last post?
it was well within boards.ie rules.

Silverfish

whatsamsn wrote: »

Silverfish,
why did you delete my last post?
it was well within boards.ie rules.

Off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum. Please read the charter and abide by it.
If you have an issue with moderation of this forum, please contact the mods or cmods, and do not drag threads off topic to argue moderation.

astra2000

Hi I think your gf was out of order continuing the fight in public it must have been very akward on your friends who witnessed it, having said that she obviously knew she was in the wrong afterwards as she thought the way behaved meant your relationship was over. I think perhaps you are not doing as much about the house as you think or she would like, maybe the reason she overreacted so much is partly down to her last relationship and she is worried that you will be like her last bf. You really need to discuss this with her more and find out why she behaved that way we all argue but to do it in public and to be as out of control as you describe is not good or fair on you. If you dont want this to happen again you need to tell her you will not accept that type of abuse from her and that if she has a problem with you to discuss it. Maybe there is something more going on in her life that you arent aware of if this is completely out of caracter for her as you have said. Talk to her

Neyite

Edit: i originally read it wrong

missed the bit about you having the row in the pub - i read it that she woke up happy out, saw the state of the kitchen, etc and got mad.

having a go at you in public is not on. no matter how mad she is. probably with a bit of drink it all floated to the surface again.

fair enough, have the chat about doing your fair share, but you should make it explicitly clear to her that the next time she goes off on one in public that you will not respond to it and will walk away.
you deserve an apology for this, but you also both need to work on your communication with each other - she needs to talk about stuff long before it gets to that stage, and you both need to sit and listen to each others point of view, and come to an agreement you are both happy with.