Clumsy or evil?

MaybeTuesday

This happened to me a couple of years ago and I've always wondered whether the girl involved was simply clumsy or evil. I'd like to hear others opinions on it.

I met a girl in a nightclub and one thing led to another and we ended up back at her place. We went to bed and I fell asleep in the middle of foreplay (I was slightly inebriated).

The following morning we woke up, she snogged me for 5 seconds and then she dove straight down below. The oral action went on for a while until she asked "are you alright?" I had my eyes closed and felt very alright until I looked down at her.

She was covered in blood. My blood. The sheets were covered, her face, my underwear, and there was more blood gushing from my penis. Needless to say, I nearly fainted. I managed to stem the flow and go to the bathroom to clean myself up.

When I returned from the bathroom I told her I just needed to lie down for a while to recover and then I would be on my way. While I was doing this she tried to come on to me again until I explained that the blood soaked bedroom and my injured penis were a bit of a turn off.

I left without telling her that she had a moustache of dried blood on her upper lip. A petty revenge, but the best I could do.

The question I have is do you think that the bite was deliberate? I would like to believe that it was an accident but she was very calm about the whole thing. My member was pumping blood and she just calmly asked if I was alright. No apology. Nothing. Anyway,be interested to hear your views...

Abrasax

Hi Jake.

You didn't notice she had taken a bite out of your dick until you looked down?

Banned Account

She was obviously a rare and much maligned "Penis Vampire" - you sir, had a lucky escape.

Brendog

thats messed up....




I'd say she did it deliberatly.....Everyone likes cocktail sausage :D





i joke i joke

MagicMarker

How did you not notice her biting you until you were covered in blood?

Banned Account

MagicMarker wrote: »

How did you not notice her biting you until you were covered in blood?

This is the mystery of the rare and much maligned "penis vampire" ...








*plays sinister organ music*

Gotta love people who make up fake stories in order to get thanks.

OutlawPete

Nah, it's definitely Monday.

Congrats on pulling Miss Jolie though.

FunkZ

Dude, get checked for STD's.

prinz

Chances are she didn't bite, at all.

**Timbuk2**

That's how foreplay happens in Twilight.

caseyann

Could you not have said warning and graphic in title i feel like i want to puke

Carl Sagan

Deleted User wrote: »

Gotta love people who make up fake stories in order to get thanks.

Especially when it doesn't work.

skepticalone

now you know what it feels like to have a period , i laughed at the bit where you had to lie down to recover from the blood loss , my other half is always telling me to get over myself when i complain of heavy bleeding , he says its the most natural thing in the world and i should embrace it!! Sounds like she nipped your banjo string tbh .

Sykk

I doubt a girl would want a mouthfull of blood from your willy, even if she didn't like you for some reason.

Sergeant

Tore the old banjo string. These things happen on occasion, especially with a player such as yourself.

MaybeTuesday

Deleted User wrote: »

Gotta love people who make up fake stories in order to get thanks.

whatever helps you sleep at night dude....

How did you not notice her biting you until you were covered in blood?

there was no pain. didn't hurt at all. wasn't a big cut but doesn't need to be....

Banned Account

skepticalone wrote: »

now you know what it feels like to have a period , i laughed at the bit where you had to lie down to recover from the blood loss , my other half is always telling me to get over myself when i complain of heavy bleeding , he says its the most natural thing in the world and i should embrace it!! Sounds like she nipped your banjo string tbh .

Somehow, I doubt the two are similar unless the OP morphed into a foul tempered beast with no remorse or patience.

P.S are you a skeptic alone or a skeptical one?

danniemcq

skepticalone wrote: »

now you know what it feels like to have a period , i laughed at the bit where you had to lie down to recover from the blood loss , my other half is always telling me to get over myself when i complain of heavy bleeding , he says its the most natural thing in the world and i should embrace it!! Sounds like she nipped your banjo string tbh .

Ah have a happy period

Sergeant wrote: »

Tore the old banjo string. These things happen on occasion, especially with a player such as yourself.

Whats your excuse then?

skepticalone

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

Somehow, I doubt the two are similar unless the OP morphed into a foul tempered beast with no remorse or patience.

P.S are you a skeptic alone or a skeptical one?

that be skeptical one , although when im hormonally grumpy thatll be skeptic alone

Banned Account

skepticalone wrote: »

that be skeptical one , although when im hormonally grumpy thatll be skeptic alone

Cheers - that was actually getting to me - sad, but true.

conorhal

Well.... it would be a bit much to call a bloke that fell asleep on the job and then bled all over a girls gums and good bedclothing evil, so I reckon I'll go with clumsy....

starbelgrade

The thread title should be "Desperate or Sad?"

Foxhound38

Sounds like you snapped your banjo string - happened to a friend of mine. Hope you went to see a Doctor OP

MaybeTuesday

starbelgrade wrote: »

The thread title should be "Desperate or Sad?"

....some might argue that your username is similarly misleading. I can think of one or two more suitable alternatives...

ElaElaElano

MaybeTuesday, Jake will get bored of trying to troll everyone and failing spectacularly.

Probably not though.

Banned Account

Where's Rod the Mod?


"Goodbye, MaybeTuesday ..."

biko

Thanks but no.