Pretty sure I want a baby.

LegacyUser

The last 6months or so I've been thinking about having a kid. I'm not exactly sure what spurred the urge but a couple of friends becoming dads kind of made me a little jealous.

I'm just sitting here thinking that I'm a broody boy, no other way to explain it I suppose.

My GF is the girl I'm going to marry so theres no issue there but I dont necessarily have to be married before having a baby, she would be of the same persuasion but I know she'd probably prefer to be married.

The more I think of it the more an unplanned pregnancy has it's benefits in that you have to plan around the pending baby rather then me now where I think of financial, work, living, marriage, arrangements!

We're a couple in our late 20's, will we go for it(literally)?

This is a positive thread, make me laugh and scare me too.

p.s. She'd love a baby!

Victor

Then perhaps putting the arrangements in place to do this.

AngryBadger

OP for a decision this big I think if you're in a stable relationship but you have to ask other people whether it's a goods idea or not then you probably shouldn't have a kid. Particularly given that you seem to believe this is a result of your friends having kids and you feeling jealous.

I dunno, having a kid is a major decision to me, and not something to be done frivolously, if you're in a stable relationship and you both want a child then the obvious next step is to plan for it, but I have reservations about people who start wanting kids because everyone around them has one, and then start making comments about "unplanned pregnancy" being easier.

Only you can make the decision at the end of the day OP, having a kid is I have no doubt a wonderful experience, but as far as I'm concerned having a child should be more about that child and whether or not you and your partner are going to be able to take care of it properly, most other considerations are largely irrelevant.

Zen65

Is it a baby you want, or an event to prompt you to make the arrangements for this marriage?

Either way, I cannot in all conscience offer advice for or against the creation of a new life. That is a decision only you and your gf can make.

Be at peace,


Z

jessiejam

If you both want a baby and can provide for it and are willing to sacrifice your freedom, lie-in's on a sat and sunday morning, Heading out at the drop of a hat, sleeping through the night, Have no problem providing childcare etc. And you have lots of support from family and friends.
Then I would say go ahead. Why not!

Just one thing I will say to you
A baby soon becomes a toddler (tantrums)
A toddler soon becomes a teenager (more tantrums)
In other words op, A baby is for life They grow up fairly fast.
Its all goo goo ga ga for a while alright but a baby will be your responsibility for the rest of your life. Its damn hard work.

On a possitive note they are the best thing in the world and the joy they bring is undescribable. But just make sure you both have done most things in your lives that you can't do when theres a kid in tow or you may regret not doing them.

You both have plenty years left to try

Best of luck

D

tenchi-fan

I think you should get married before you have a baby. More than anything to cement your rights as father.
I think you should go for it if you're ready.

Nolanger

BroodyBoy wrote: »

scare me too.

If you split up and she demands maintenance that's payments for the next 22 years until the kid finishes college. The most the District Court can award is €150 per week and that adds up to €171,600.

Taltos

I am a bit old school.

1. Get married - see if you can survive the stresses and changes that hit some couples.
2. Go for it only if BOTH of you are ready.

In the meantime please do discuss this thoroughly with your fiance - as you would be surprised how many couples have different objectives - eg you want a kid now - she might want one "some day"...

Talk it over - don't be scared - and plan for it.
Finances, work committments etc.

Best of luck - nice to see someone planning for a change instead of reacting to "she's up the duff - what now..."

ham_n_mustard

heres some things to think about which hadnt really occurred to me before becoming a dad:
nappies really stink, and it gets worse when the child starts eating proper food. there are going to be times when you cant get rid of a nappy eg in a car...be prepared for that
your sleep patterns are never going to be the same. i can survive on about 5-6 hours sleep a night but my mrs cant. this may seem trivial enough, but months of irregular sleep patterns can put proper pressure on you both and your relationship. kids cost a lot of money, clothes dont last very long. i had no idea how fast our little fella would grow out of clothes, be prepared for that too. and finally...they're brilliant fun.

LegacyUser

We had an unplanned pregnancy, although we weren't exactly trying very hard not to get pregnant to be honest. Having a child is the best thing that's ever happened to us, but no question, one of the most difficult. My OH had a tough labour, medical problems afterwards, and a few months of post natal depression. We kill each other at times due to stress. We don't get as much sleep as we used to, we don't go away on foreign trips together anymore, we don't get to go out on as many nights with friends, none of our other closest friends have kids so they don't understand really what it's like. I nearly fell out completely with both my OHs parents over nothing, pretty much because everyone was so stressed. That's all the bits to scare you first of all!!!!

The positives. For the 99% of the time that we're not stressed and fighting over nothing, my OH and I have never been closer or more in love. Our little one has changed our lives, made us realise how meaningless some of the things that used to mean a lot to us really were. We appreciate the little things in life, like if our baby sleeps in until 8 on a weekend instead of 7.15. The first time your baby looks at you, smiles at you, hugs you, blows kisses at you and says Dada to you are all enough to make you melt. Even after being up for 2 and a half hours lastnight with our baby teething (2 new teeth since Thursday!!!), I went back to bed and lay there just smiling at how funny she was trying to run around the kitchen cos she didn't want to go back to bed. You'll bring two familes closer together. You'll give both yours and your OHs parents a complete new lease of life. You'll wonder what the hell you ever did when it was just the two of you.

That's my experience, good and bad. The good outweighs the bad a hundred fold.