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Not sure what to do :( (long)

  • 23-07-2010 5:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm in a LDR (west coast USA - south of Ireland). We had been together 9 months before he emigrated due to permanent job offer. Initially we said we'd break up but both didn't want to and so we stayed together. I booked flights to visit him in early 2010 for two weeks. I am hoping to emigrate to the same city next year when I finish my degree and end the LD part of the relationship.

    However, he will not be returning home visiting anytime soon, if at all. So, basically it's likely we are not having any visits for the best part of 18 months (counting from early 2010 to sometime 2011). I am going into final year and won't have the time to fly out. I also feel that it's not my turn to visit. I shouldn't have to be the one to travel this time. He won't come home for several reasons (doesn't want to see family, family issues etc) and says he'd love to see me - just not here.

    When it dawned on me that we wouldn't see each other for 18 months it really made me sit down and think about what I wanted, and where this is going. As an OH, he really ticks all the boxes for me in every way, the only bad part is not seeing him and not having him here. In a way, it does suit me that he's not here because I am going into my final year and will be concentrating on that. But 18 months apart...?

    I voiced my concerns to him about this and basically asked him what he wanted. And he said he didn't know what way the future will turn out, just like I dont. As in - I could get a job out there, I may not get a job out there at all, he may want to move somewhere else, he may want to stay there, etc. He doesn't want to break up (nor do I), but just doesn't know how things will go, the same as I don't.

    Now I'm really not sure what to do. I don't want to break up ,or to lose him. We are in touch every single day via text, IM and Skype but 18 months physically apart is horribly long. People can change, feelings can change, after so much time apart we could work terribly together as a couple, etc...

    If you got this far, thanks for reading :)


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