Friends or something more!

cinders32

I’m looking for some advice, I’m 32 and have been friends with a guy that lives in my estate for over a year…we’ve known of each other for years though, and grew up in the same area and know lots of the same people. He’s know my past history and I know his…he has a child. Anyhow, I initially fancied him, but as I’ve gotten to know him I didn’t really think that it was going to go anywhere, when I tried to get flirty in the past he has nipped it in the bud…we’ve become really close and discuss everything. He was a great support to me when one of my parents got sick with cancer and he has made reference to the fact in the past that I’m his best friend. Anyhow all was good, we were motoring along, doing the friends thing, we have dinner out maybe once or twice a month, and I frequently call over to his place…all very comfortable. He usually rings me a couple of times a week…I very rarely ring him. He keeps mentioning a girl that he fancies and has shown me her when we’ve been out, we’ve discussed how he can approach her and I’ve even made reference to the fact that I wish he would hurry up cause I’m sick of hearing about it…and not in a jealous way either! He has even raised the issue of us buying a place with each other as an investment, but I didn’t think it was a good idea if down to road either of us was to meet some-one. I’m friendly with my ex and he doesn’t get that, he had a bad break-up with his ex, and he has asked me would I get back with my ex on one occasion when I was drinking!! He doesn’t I may add, it would make everything a lot easier.

Saw him during the week last week and things have taken a change…out of no-where…he has started to make lots of references to me physically, which I’ve just laughed off. Saw him on Sunday gone when Id called around to his place with a cake for his bday, all fine whilst I was there, mild flirting but nothing outta the ordinary…then once I got home he sent me some texts…and it went from there…continued on for a bit and he basically implied that it was up to me if I want to take things further physically. So now my head is wrecked…I don’t know what to do for the best, he rang me briefly twice since then, and it hasn’t been mentioned, we’ve gone back to the friends zone…so now I’ve a dilemma, should I just leave things as they are as I have done for the last year…I’m not a shy person in that way, but Id be afraid that if I was to progress things in this way that it would become a s***-buddy kinda thing and it could ruin a really good friendship, or should I just go with it and see what happens!! Normally I don’t over-think things, but with this it kind of feels like Im at a crossroads….thanks in advance for any advice.

Thanks Cindeers

Beruthiel

If you are interested in him, you know him long enough to just ask straight out what he wants.
If he wants a relationship, tell him you're not interested in anything but a proper one.

Blackdrag

A real problem you got here, Best thing to do is to simply talk to him.

Other option is to ignore it and see what happens over the next few weeks, see if its just a passing thing or if that’s what he wants.
Let us know how it works out
And good luck

Ickle Magoo

I don't think there is any other way to find out where you stand and what is going on than discussing things face to face and asking all the questions you need to ask in a way that tone and inference can't be misconstrued.

Best of luck.

cinders32

Heya all

Thanks so much for all the replies...whilst I know deep down that I need to have a conversation with him, I just cant...Im normally a confident, deal with things kinda person, but I just cant bring myself to sit down and discuss this with him...it makes me nervous even the thought of it...if it was any-one else they'd be no problem.

Anyhow thanks again....cinders

LegacyUser

Sound to me he is looking to progress things to a FB situation.

His recent flirtations dont seem to be standard/normal behaviour of a person thats looking to get into a relationship with you.

Just my obs from an outsider reading in.

cinders32

Yeah I think u could be rite, the more I think about it, its defo something like a FB situation that he wants us to get into...dont think Id be interested in something like that with him as it could ruin a good friendship. Think its best just to park it now and move on....thanks again for all the replies.