Woman trouble!

LegacyUser

Right to keep it brief, I'm going unsub for a few minutes.

I recently ran into a girl in town, got the kiss and number, we exchanged texts a few times, all was going fine, then we "happened" bump into each other in a night club in dublin, and she end's up coming back to mine for (and I've no idea how else to say this) every but intercourse. It was great, no awkwardness the next day, all's grand.

That same day or night even she is out again with a few work mates, and rings me about 2am(She's a good bit tipsy as this state of the night), asking if she can come back, I tell her that I'm working bright and early but she insists on calling over, pretty much same story as the night before happens.

Night 3, and pretty much a carbon copy of the first night but we end up back at her's. All's fine, she suggests the next day we grab a dvd or something early next week, I agree, all seems fine.

Then when texting over the last 2 days she blurts out that she's just out of a long term relationship and isn't looking for anything "too full on".

This is what confuses me, normally I'm not this..forward? I certainly wouldn't see the same girl 3 night's in a row, from my point of view she seems to have done alot of the leg work, yet suddenly throws the brakes on. And we seem to have moved into lets see how things go scenario.. Have I done something or ? Confused!?!

Any help? And sorry for the essay..

Victor

Confused?! wrote: »

Have I done something or ?

I don't think you've done anything wrong. It sound like she was just throwing herslf from one relationship to the next and in a sober moment realised she is going about it the wrong way.

I don't know, maybe suggest a proper, sober, first date - dinner, movie, whatever - to do a re-start on things.

jurgenscarl

Then when texting over the last 2 days she blurts out that she's just out of a long term relationship and isn't looking for anything "too full on".

This woman probably is head over heels in love with you.
You have completely blown her away and she is gasping for air.
What you need to do is not be too available.
Tell her that it's fine that she isn't looking for anything too full on.
Act cool and take it in your stride.
Meet up with her once a week from here on in.
You have had a pretty intense few days so just draw back just a little.
When you do meet up be full on and rock her world but then physically separate yourself until the next week but give your nice romantic texts during the week.
Familiarity is starting to breed contempt so don't be too familiar too early on. Women can get bored by too much availability.
Best of luck.

Nevyn

Sounds like she is distracting herself form sorting herself out.
The weekend was about partying and you were part of that and part of the distraction and now she has come back down to ground she can she that she may have strug you along and is explaining to you that she doesn't want something as full on as what the weekend was.

Give her, her space, don't be as available and wait and see what happens.

dreamstar

This is typical rebound. She is just after coming out of a relationship and throws herself at the next guy that comes along.
The only thing is that she did want to have a dvd night and she is explaining that she doesn't want anything serious so I think that she does like you but needs her space.
Give it time!

Beruthiel

jurgenscarl wrote: »

This woman probably is head over heels in love with you.

You're joking right?

OP
The girl is just out of a relationship, for now, you are nothing more than a distraction.
Her head is probably all over the camp with regards to the breakup.
Were I you, I'd consider myself the rebound guy for now.

Blackdrag

How do you feel about the girl? No ones asked that one?

Sounds like a rebound situation, however i could be wrong.

Anyways stop worrying about it, you done nothing wrong sounds like shes just up for some fun.

Wibbs

Sounds like a rebound alright. That said many people, especially some women go from one relationship to the next. Replacing one guy with the next. Often they're the ones who are very full on from the start. They've just come from a full on relationship so seek to keep the emotional tanks topped up. They cant be alone so they transfer the feelings of a longtermer onto a new person. I know a fair few couples who have started like this. Sometimes it works, often it doesn't simply because someone who does this replacement thing never fully processes the previous relationship.

Then again she may be doing the replacement thing in a purely sexual or social way.

Like others have said, you wont know at the moment until more info is in play so back off a little and see where that takes you.

Ickle Magoo

Could be a whole heap of reasons why she's suddenly thrown the brakes on. Could be rebound, relationship filler, physical closeness, fun to get over heart-break? Perhaps she realises that it could be a rebound thing and altho she knows she likes you, she wants to make sure she's pursuing a relationship with you for the right reasons?

Just take things slow and don't invest too much in the relationship until you know where her head is at and whether it's going to develop into a relationship because she wants a relationship with you - and not just a replacement relationship.

Best of luck

HavingCrack

Wibbs wrote: »

Sounds like a rebound alright. That said many people, especially some women go from one relationship to the next. Replacing one guy with the next. Often they're the ones who are very full on from the start. They've just come from a full on relationship so seek to keep the emotional tanks topped up. They cant be alone so they transfer the feelings of a longtermer onto a new person. I know a fair few couples who have started like this. Sometimes it works, often it doesn't simply because someone who does this replacement thing never fully processes the previous relationship.

Then again she may be doing the replacement thing in a purely sexual or social way.

Like others have said, you wont know at the moment until more info is in play so back off a little and see where that takes you.

Excellent advice from Wibbs as usual

Seriously though, some girls just aren't able to not be in a relationship, they just can't be single. I know one girl whoose 22 now but has only been single for two months since she was 14 but has had about 12 boyfriends-crazy stuff :rolleyes:. I reckon something similar may be happenign to you OP.