Dog problem and solution?

Kent Brockman

There is a bothersome dog barking and whining at all hours of day and night in the neighbourhood.
At least 2 of the neighbours have complained but the dog starts up again a few nights later.
Everyone I mention this to suggests 'nudge,nudge, wink,wink' that I should chuck a nice piece of poisoned meat his direction (thats what they would do), or that if it was their problem the dog would disappear etc etc.

Even some of the neighbours mentioned the same ,half-joking:rolleyes:

By this reckoning loads of people out there must have poisoned the neighbours noisy dog or kidnapped it and dropped it off up the mountains.

Or maybe your dog suddenly died or disappeared mysteriously (after barking lots at night).

Or is it all just talk........

squod

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40671000/jpg/_40671949_sawnoff203.jpg

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Sounds like the dog just needa a lil lovin...



...hop over and show em some "doggy style"!

orourkeda

Put a plastic bag over his head and kick him really hard in the bollocks or fanny if applicable

GLaDOS

Kill the dog
Rape the corpse
Burn it
Snort the ashes
Dance hard techno

Brendog

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Kill the dog
Rape the corpse
Burn it
Snort the ashes
Dance hard techno

WTF!

phill106

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Kill the dog
Rape the corpse
Burn it
Snort the ashes
Dance hard techno

Brendog wrote: »

WTF!

I know!
You can't burn it, thats pollution!

Voltex

the replies to this thread sofar are totally worthy of AH.

joewicklow

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Kill the dog
Rape the corpse
Burn it
Snort the ashes
Dance hard techno

"Dance hard techno" thats one funny image ive got in my head

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Voltex wrote: »

the replies to this thread sofar are totally worthy of AH.

Sweet..........its hard to maintain!

CreepingDeath

Kent Brockman wrote: »

Everyone I mention this to suggests 'nudge,nudge, wink,wink' that I should chuck a nice piece of poisoned meat his direction

A tazer would leave less evidence.

Killer Pigeon

Solution:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brVOFCo9c1U

orourkeda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ytxd8sPz9LU&feature=PlayList&p=98F9DEA0E7697FCB&playnext_from=PL&index=41

The poor doggy
Drop in to whomever the owner is and have a chat and sort it out

starbelgrade

bluewolf wrote: »

The poor doggy
Drop in to whomever the owner is and have a chat and sort it out

Then shoot them. It won't stop the dog barking, but it'll teach the owners a lesson.

Einhard

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Kill the owner
Rape his corpse
Burn him
Snort his ashes
Dance hard techno

Alternatively. For animal lovers like...

Juwwi

Print off the first page of this thread and put in their letter box.

They will never let the dog out of their sight again.

VinnyTGM

Theres a dog a couple of houses down barking right now and has been doing so all day, which is also like this everyday. :mad:

Somethings gonna happen and it aint gonna be nice.

Gummy Panda

take a shít on it!

sligopark

Gummy Panda wrote: »

take a shít on it!

Man I 'd like to see you sneak in there in the middle of the night and shít on a dog - might want to hold on tight to your special friends

dr.bollocko

You'd like to see someone taking a crap on a dog?

Mike 1972

One can get high power ultrasonic devices that frighten off dogs (unless theyre deaf) but are inauidable to humans (unless theyre small children/otherwise hypersensitive)

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Kill the dog owner
Rape the corpse
Burn it
Snort the ashes
Dance hard techno

FYP

Disclaimer: In some (shytehole) jurisdictions some of the above may be illegal (In which one should overthrow the government and kill all collaborators)

lil'bug

poor dog sounds like its loney been locked up all day
try rining your local ispca maybe they could help

sligopark

dr.bollocko wrote: »

You'd like to see someone taking a crap on a dog?

I would certainly appreciate the comedy of it tried

Run_to_da_hills

Haloween is only a few months away, stock up with Blackcat bangers, the dogs will love em.

easyeason3

Do the owners bother walking the dog or letting him in the house at all?

Seriously, some people are just not capable of looking after animals. If you think this is the case then ring ISPCA.

Don't poison the dog. You're pissed off now & you're probably considering it but if you did poison him then it would be on your conscience forever.

veryangryman

Have you considered just opening their side gate when nobodys home. The dog will do the rest. Problem solved and nobodys gotta die. The owners will secretly be glad, trust me

sligopark

veryangryman wrote: »

Have you considered just opening their side gate when nobodys home. The dog will do the rest. Problem solved and nobodys gotta die. The owners will secretly be glad, trust me

classic and solution found

Scarydoll

Maybe there's a dead body in the house and the dog can't take the smell anymore?

Kent Brockman

After a bit of investigating it appears the dog is a PIT-BULL:eek: and his tatooed muscle-bound owner is not to be trifled with:eek:
He is renting the house from some other unsavory types who are also not to be messed with apparently.

Hmmm, do I have to put up with this barking or perhaps risk much worse from the scum that own it:(

The dog has been seen wandering unattended also

Run_to_da_hills

Kent Brockman wrote: »

After a bit of investigating it appears the dog is a PIT-BULL:eek: and his tatooed muscle-bound owner is not to be trifled with:eek:
He is renting the house from some other unsavory types who are also not to be messed with apparently.

Hmmm, do I have to put up with this barking or perhaps risk much worse from the scum that own it:(

The dog has been seen wandering unattended also

If its a Pitbull, introduce yourself to it and start feeding it with raw meat scraps from your butcher, the dog will soon become yours. You can then break into his house and help your self.

the_syco

squod wrote: »

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40671000/jpg/_40671949_sawnoff203.jpg

Some bastad poisoned my dog, that'd be the least of their worries.

Bonito

Bite it's ear and say "Grrrrwoooof wooof woof woof woooof grrrr"

This means quit barkin' ya bollix.

Don't let him bite your ear though. If he does, it means you're his bítch.

Royal Irish

Dead dogs dont bark. Shoot the b*stard!!

Or if you could somehow convince the owner to over feed the dog, maybe buy him a couple of slabs of dog food, and he/she will stop barking when they fatten up alot. Strange but true.

Run_to_da_hills

Dogs are also useless at putting out fires.

admiralofthefleet

cut its bollox off

minister poxbottle

cut the owners bollix off

Seloth

There are 13 houses in the townland where I live and most of us have dogs.

There are three dogs((two dogs belong to the same owner)) which give trouble.

The first two live at the cornor of the T-road...They would be classified as Terriers but I and most others would say Seals...Over and over they "ARF ARF ARF!" when some one passes.Wen one does with a dog they both follow attempting to fight said dog,often following for a while at a distance,However comically if they choose to chase after the dog they will 99% of the time run into each other and then begin to fight one another.If not worse when ever a car is coming down the hill or up it at the T-road they run right into it...Honestly how are they not dead!.

Now these two dogs have been here for a long number of years and dont cause much hassle,all the dogs are used to each other tbh,just minor scuffles.

But then theres the other dog!

Its owner got this little runtof a furball three years back,after which they tottaly neglected their old dog.This Dog just had something which all the other dogs hate,several times diffrent dogs in the neighbourhood nearly killed it despite never having problems with eachother or the dozens of dogs which walk by each week.

As of this the owner called the dog warden,whom asked us to have or dogs always on a leash tied up when outside during the day((which was done 90% of the time anyway)).So here we have,all the neighbours dogs all tied up((Well the Seal dogs owner pretty much ignored it)) when one day I notice this ****er...running around the field,up and down the road in broad daylight.So wehave to have our dogs tied up while that one who causes the trouble be allowed loose...wtf like!.

But yeah those three dogs,the latter causing the most griefance but the former causing the most annoyance theres not much you can do.Dont kill it though.I've had my dog since I was 7,and Im 18 going on 19 now.If I found out my dog had been killed in such a fashion there would be hell to pay and I'm honestly a very anti violence person but my dog,like many other households dogs are a part of the family.

You get used to barking anyway and if it keeps going on incist the owner handles it more,Generally it stops by itself,Our dog used top bark like mad when younger but it stopped after a few months of training((Funny thing was we didnt hear it but a neighbour used to go mad about...then again their dog kept stealing our dogs food lol ))

Mike 1972

In the UK and Ireland the majority of the population are delusional to the extent of believing that a densely populated modern urban housing estate is a suitable place to keep a dog.

easyeason3

Kent Brockman wrote: »

After a bit of investigating it appears the dog is a PIT-BULL:eek: and his tatooed muscle-bound owner is not to be trifled with:eek:
He is renting the house from some other unsavory types who are also not to be messed with apparently.

Hmmm, do I have to put up with this barking or perhaps risk much worse from the scum that own it:(

The dog has been seen wandering unattended also

So call the ISPCA & the dog will have some chance of a life. Leave things the way they are & the dog will inevitable attack someone out of boredom/ fear/ hunger etc.
I imagine the owner isn't the most responsible of people & only has a pitbull because of their reputation.

Seriously though, I'm afraid of pitbulls even though I love dogs. But I do think that the owner makes the dog. If this dog is being neglected & let out loose (restricted breeds should be muzzeld & on a lead) then it's only a matter of time until something bad happens & then the dog will be put to sleep after probably attacking &/ or maiming someone, if not killing them.

JimmyCrackCorn

2 Solutions

1. Go to vet say your cats depressed.
2. Collect cat valum
3. Go to off licence
5. Large bottle of vodka

Make it look like doggy suicide


Or feed him grapes over a long period of time as its the equivilent of slow arsnic poisioning for dogs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grape_and_raisin_toxicity_in_dogs


The right thing to to is report it to the ISPCA.
Who will give it a chance then kill it humanly

caseyann

soloution report them.

InTheTrees

JimmyCrackCorn wrote: »

Or feed him grapes over a long period of time as its the equivilent of slow arsnic poisioning for dogs.

Now there's a fine plan right up there with feeding carrots to crocodiles to make them sleepy.

BeerWolf

wth @ all these replies - did it occur to you that the dog might be neglected, tied up 24/7 ?

Edit - Read Kent's second reply... regardless, my point still applies for seperate issues.