Independence?

illiop

I was listening to Liveline today (it was on in my dad's car, ok ) and there was a girl on who was 20 years old and had just finished her first year in college. Basically she had lost her student card and was pissed at how the train station guys were giving her hassle and no one was helping her.

Anyway, it kinda got me thinking, do you guys think "kids these days" are too dependent on their parents, teachers, etc?

I would consider myself relatively independent in most ways which I'm quite proud of after coming from a boarding school where everything is structured and enforced, leaving no room for any independence.
Saying that though I have no financial independence whatsoever. I have had jobs in the past and have some savings but if I even suggest useing them I have moeny thrust at me and I hate that

I have friends, however, who are proud (or at least not in anyway ashamed) of spongeing off their parents and wouldn't dream of traveling without a big group of friends and can't understand how I went alone to Spain for 6 months at 18. I even have on friend who's 21 and can't get a job but would rather sponge than even dream of emigrated, she just can't fathom it.

Well that was long and rambley, sorry, but basically what do you guys think about it? Would you consider yourself independent? As a generation are we, would you say, dependent on our parents?

KnifeWRENCH

First of all, you went to Spain for 6 months on your own when you were 18? Well done! There's no way I could ever have done anything like that when I was 18.

Anyway, I'm somewhat financially independent. I've always paid my own way through college (rent, textbooks, travelling etc.) which is good, but all that money comes from grants and stuff. I don't actually have a job.

But during the summer I feel less independent; I rely on my parents to drive me everywhere (I should have learned to drive ages ago but was too damn lazy :mad:) and that kind of bugs me. My Mam also refuses to take any money off me for food, bills etc. while I'm living at home for the summer. In one way, it's good because it means more money for me but it also makes me feel like I'm sponging off them and being treated like a child.

I do want to do my Masters outside of Cork; current plan is Dublin but I haven't ruled out possibly going to the UK. And as soon as that's done, I'd love to have a job somewhere new and exciting.

Tl;dr version: I'm sorta independent but not as much as I want to be.

Jamie Starr

I don't really believe in independence as most people look at it. People think being independent is being a home-owner, or having a car, paying for their own food. That's just adult life, it's not really independence. You're tied to work, to payments, family commitments- my parents don't exactly look independent to me. To my mind, as a kid you're probably just about as free as you are when you're an adult.

I'm currently working a bit to help with my university costs and save for Erasmus, but I don't think that's being independent- it's being realistic about life and what you want from it.

Ginja Ninja

I'd have to agree[as much as I hate liveline]

As a generation we really have had it easy,but that'll change a lot what with the recession monster and stuff.

Sadly,I'm not independent at all,my parents really like keeping me on a tight leash.But in college and any time I get out by myself,I'm a fairly independent person.I like doing stuff for myself.
I can't really get any decent independence since I'm working all day around the farm to keep the place going,so it can pay for college.So the whole getting onto my own two feet thing isn't happening any time soon sadly.

Saying that as soon as I get any sort of viable job to live of I'm gone like the wind

soccymonster

Regards money, I rarely ask parents for money seeing as I just pop some out of my post office account containing funds from previous birthdays, confirmation, communion or I just take it out of my money jar (I'm a real saver tbh :P).

Regards going off on my own and things like that, my parents really don't give me that much leeway. Can't go anywhere without serious questions being asked. This whole lack of allowing me to make my own decisions is probably a reason for me getting homesick easily too. College will be the death of me if I don't get over it soon But yea, my mam would wrap me up in cotton wool if she could and protect me from that horrible place, we all know as "the world".

But then again, I'm only 16 so not sure if my situation is as valid as others.

Pigwidgeon

I'm kind of like Knifewrench, I'm kind of independent but would like to be more.

I live at home, and close enough to college so I don't have to worry about rent and food, so I suppose in that respect I'm lucky. I got my first job at 16, which I had until last July, in that time I bought all my clothes, bus tickets, credit, etc. If I wanted to eat outside of home, I buy it myself. I got a grant in college, so when I lost my job, I used that for everything.

My mum refused to take money off me, because I was never earning that much, and I was always pretty responsible with my money. When I couldn't afford it, I sold my car, that kind of thing. When I can afford to now I'm working again I give my mum money, she doesn't take it easily though.

I hate even borrowing money off my parents, seeing as I've had my own money for so long, I rarely ask for anything.

I've been given a lot more independence, travelling wise the last year, I've been away twice by myself, and going away again in August. I also plan to go to Canada next summer. They don't mind that too much, seeing as I was involved in ladybirds/brownies/guides until I was about 13, which involved loads of trips away, including one to Austria. I'm seen as the responsible one of my friends by parents, so it's always ok if Kate's going. Which tbh gets annoying sometimes.

That was longer than I'd planned...

**Timbuk2**

I'm not really independent at all - my parents do a lot for me, especially financially. I'm not spoiled or anything, and they certainly don't thrust money at me, but I feel as if I was more independent the transition to college life this September woudl be a lot smoother!

I'm actually quite anxious about college - the whole living away from home thing! I need to learn how to cook, and iron, and wash clothes,... oh dear

The Walsho

Genuinely thought this thread was going to be about the question of Irish Independence.

Digits

In fairness I think I have a fair amount of independence for my age. Imo I dont spounge off my parents and I'm allowed go wherever I want within reason. I wouldn't say I'm totally independent now but that isn't a bad thing at my age really.

Novella

I guess I'm kind of independent. I've lived on my own since I was 17, have been able to drive and have had my own car since that age too. I think my independence stems from being incredibly lucky in a way. My grandad has always made sure that I was okay financially, and my car was bought for me as a present.

I got a job right after I finished my Leaving Cert, and had that until last February when I guess life just got in the way. I had saved money every month though, so I haven't been relying on my parents. I've paid my own bills etc.

I suppose because I was never too close to my mum, and because my granny who kinda took her place in my life died when I was 12, I've grown up without anyone who I could really rely on, or talk to. I would say that I'm independent in so far as I'm used to being alone, and I'd happily go places by myself etc.

Financially, as I said, I don't credit myself for that at all. I've just been lucky. Hopefully I'll have a job again soon though.

Colm!

I'm 15, so I'm financially useless.
Maybe.

I've been contracted to build computers for a local youth café. This project is entirely mine; nobody else is involved. This is my first true sense of financial independence, even if the amount is small (I'm making €275 on this, not a lot)
But I can take care of myself. I mean, I've had to live alone in this house for a week and a half once in first year and I kept care of myself. Other people would crack up at the idea at leaving their thirteen year old son at home... I can't iron clothes but other than that I can survive. I don't fear leaving this town, in fact I anticipate it.
Meanwhile, I think a good measure of my independence is that I'm planning to go to a concert in London soon, stay at my brother's place for the night and go back home. I can handle traveling alone. I can mind myself and I'm not stupid. I don't panic.

D.R cowboy

I'm kinda independent

I'm 21 and I did the leaving this year , so i will probably be going to college in Sept
I will be living at home while I'm in college as it is only up the road from where I live.
I get 80 euros in pocket money every week to cover petrol and stuff.
I have never had a job , however i hope to work part time with my father next year.
i have a car my old man purchased for my 21st, he paid for the tax and the insurance , however I pay for the petrol.
I go on holidays with my folks every Christmas, and with the guys every summer. I pay for the summer holiday myself

SarahBeep!

It could be because I'm an only child but I could pretty much be allowed do anything and have been for quite a while.
Anything big I pay for myself. Trips away, laptop, stuff like that.

I'm still at home simply because I'm a 15 minute bus ride to college. I do all my own cooking, washing, buying. That kinda craic. I'm only 18 so there's no rush.

I'm loving this whole college scenario. I can stroll outta the house of a monday morning and not come back for 3 days.

Fad

Was completely dependent until I got a job last summer.

Since then I can count the number of times I've taken money off them on one hand, but they refuse to take money off me.

My mother buys me clothes a bit (I dont ask her to though :S), I dont really pay for food at home, aside from that, I pay for nearly everything else. She buys a bus ticket every month and will pay for college books/equipmenty stuffs. My dad's a little less involved in that sense.

If I disappear for a few hours, I'll get a call asking where I am, but I can go anywhere I want within reason, they wont get in my way really. They seem more happy to let me make my own mistakes as of late (Like going down to Cork to stay the night and work the next night >_<)

I hate my job more than anything, and my mum has told me she'll give me money if I give it up, but I'm not sure I could go back to that set up. I dunno.

As for living with them, I want to and need to get out of this house as soon as I can, there was some giant argument today (I wasn't involved in any capacity) which just solidified the reasons why I want to get out..... I'm just afraid as to what will happen when I'm not around to tell them to shut the fúck up and that continuing an argument after an hour will lead to absolutely nothing/pick up the pieces in general.

Atavan-Halen

I'm pretty much independent except financially and I don't have my own place. Unfortunately I don't have a job and can't really get one. I do feel terrible asking for petrol/socializing money off my mam as she pays for everything for me including car insurance which is so expensive. I appreciate it so much and as soon as I get a job I'll be handing up housekeeping money without a doubt and try pay for my own things.

I'm 18 and going into 6th year so not a lot of places want to hire me as I'm going into an important year. I'm not sure if I want to go to college afterwards. What I'd much rather do is get a job and save up a bit then go travel or whatever and become totally independent, but who knows.

I hate to rely on people for anything but unfortunately that's how it is sometimes and you just have to deal with it until the time comes when you can comfortably live independently.

cheesefiend

I'm desperate to become more independant. Up until now it hasn't been too bad, my parent didn't want me to get a job because they were afraid it would get in the way of school work. Now though, with college coming up I feel incredibly guilty. I know they will struggle with money and I really want a job to at least help with it. Unfortunately Dundalk has been hit pretty bad with the recession (as I'm sure everywhere else has) and there is literally nothing! I've left in loads of Cvs in all different kinds of place but no one is hiring. I'm just praying there will be something in Dublin, but I'm not too hopefull.

Aoibheann

I'd say I'm very independent. The one thing is, I usually live at home in the summer. Otherwise, I've lived in Dublin the last three years. I've paid my own rent, bills, bought my own food, paid for my entire tuition fees this year (7,417 when the registration fee was included) as I switched course, bought my own clothes.

The weekends I come home, my dad tries to make me let him buy me food, but I don't really let him as I feel too guilty. If he's cooking something like bolognese, chilli con carne or a curry, I don't mind if he decides to cook a bit extra so I can bring it up and freeze it - makes a handy meal when I'm late home from college - but that's mainly it.

I try to pay for everything myself, especially so this past college year as I worked for the year out before. I don't like living off my parents, and I'd rather have a loan that I can afford to pay back than have my parents give me money that they really can't spare. My sister was a huuuuuge sponge, and it turned me completely the other way. I like to fend for myself tbh!

As regards anything other than financial independence; my parents have always been fairly lenient as I'm pretty trustworthy. Add that to my not drinking and it means I've been allowed to do pretty much whatever for years. And now, being 21, I think I'm old enough to keep my own hours.