how to suggest a FB situation?

LegacyUser

Met this fella recently. got on great, loads in common, seemed to find each other attractive. chatted by text for ages and got talking about sex. neither of us are looking for anything and were both saying how we go for no strings attached sex and then move on the next day. texts started getting flirtier and we ended up meeting for sex last week. we both had fantastic time. weve been texting since but its gone back to friendly stuff.

i was attracted to him but ive no interest in a relationship with him. its tricky cuz i live in galway while he lives in dublin. im in dublin every so often for work though. basically, id really like us to be fck buddies, or friends with benefits or whatever. you know, where if i was in dublin and he was around, we could just get together for the night. i dont know how to suggest this though. im afraid if i suggest a repeat of last time, he'll think im interested in a relationship or something. i dont even know when ill next be in dublin so its not like i can say "in dublin in two weeks if you fancy a repeat". also, since weve pretty much stopped the dirty texts, i don't know how to drop it into conversation. "yeah, just hanging out watching tv. want to be my fck buddy by the way" isnt great!

he made it clear that he enjoyed the sex as much as i did so im not worried that he didnt enjoy it or anything. im just worried cuz we both said we usually move on from people after we get what we want, that he wont have any interest in doing it again. id rather not bring it up than be rejected! so any advice about how to go out saying it to him?

sleeplessin

This should be pretty easy, he's a bloke and every bloke needs regular action. Next time you know your going to be in Dublin send him a text in advance to see if he wants to meet up for a drink etc. You don't need to be specific about your intentions, he'll get the message.

Fair play to you though. Good to see girls are into this type of thing too.

Miss Fluff

It's pretty straightforward tbh. Text him and say,

"Should find out over the next week or so if I'm going to be in Dublin soon again for work. If you're up for it, would be great to hook up again for some boldness;)"

jurgenscarl

Simple. Just text him.
'I'm back in Dublin. We should get together tonight if you want to.'

LegacyUser

yeah, id say your right, if i just suggested it he'd be up for it. but id like to kind of keep the excitement going in the meantime, if you get me. sending suggestive texts and things. do you think i could just send him a naughty text, or would he just be confused? i think i should explain that id like to do it again next time before randomly sending him texts?

jurgenscarl

yeah, id say your right, if i just suggested it he'd be up for it. but id like to kind of keep the excitement going in the meantime, if you get me. sending suggestive texts and things. do you think i could just send him a naughty text, or would he just be confused? i think i should explain that id like to do it again next time before randomly sending him texts?

I have a few sexy emails and texts I always use with fb's.
Come up with some of your own.
It's best to be really sexual but use double meanings and humour.
It makes it clear that your thing is all fun and no strings.
It's always good to be creative.

From experience both personal and vicarious through friends I can tell you one thing that ist rue about FB situations that work when others do not… is communication. The FBs that can actually openly talk are the ones that work and do not descend into misunderstanding and trouble.

So if you want a working FB situation then start like you mean to go on… with good communication. Just come out and tell him what you want, what you feel and why. Honesty is the best policy and you can be sure from the start he is not going to get the impression there is a chance of “more” when you do not.

All the FB situations I have seen descend into chaos were ones where only one person had the idea it was a FB situation, while the other one was having a lot of fun too, but all the while thinking “Yay this is GOING somewhere”.

So my advise? Re read your own opening post and tell him what you told us.