Bridal Party Etiquette

Unwilling

Our wedding is not in the country side or far located so there is no reason why people would NEED to stay in the hotel.
Both our parents will be - but we didn't get the rooms in the wedding package and have been a little preoccupied that we didn't think of this earlier - but we didn't book or pay for the rooms for our folks.
A friend of mine commented on this saying it was terrible that it wasn't thrown in with the deal and more or less implied we should pay for the rooms.

So - what is the etiquette around this......have we made a booboo?!

LBD

I hadn't even thought of this.......afaik my parents are paying for their own room....unless they present me with the bill on the day :eek::p

People will always have an opinion, since planning a wedding I've learned this now more then ever! I don't think there is any etiqutte surrounding this, could very well be wrong though, weddings are expensive enough without having these added extras, I'm sure your parents more then anyone appreciate this?

Beruthiel

Unwilling wrote: »

A friend of mine commented on this saying it was terrible that it wasn't thrown in with the deal and more or less implied we should pay for the rooms.

Bulls!it tbh.
Your parents do not expect you to pay for their room. I'm certainly not paying for mine when the time comes. Weddings are expensive enough without you finding more ways to spend.

Cadyboo

My sister is having the same problem. Not so much about paying for the rooms but all her in-laws-to-be, expect her to book their rooms. The hotel want a deposit for all the rooms and she is refusing to book them, told them to book themselves. In fairness she has enough to be dealing with without them being unable to pick up the bloody phone themselves.

Toots

Some wedding packages have a deal where the parents of the bride and groom get bed and breakfast complimentary, others don't. If the hotel is near enough that they don't have to stay, then there's no way you should be expected to pay for their rooms. Weddings are expensive enough without paying for people's accommodation.

I've been to loads of weddings (my OH's family is huge!) and I've never seen one where the bride and groom paid for their parents' rooms. In fact, mine is the first one I'll have been to where the parents' rooms are included in the package.

Tell your friend that if she's so worried about it, she can cough up for the rooms!

mariebeth

Honestly I think this is a matter of different opinions and different expectations. It sounds as though your parents & parents in law don't expect ye to pay for the rooms, so relax and don't worry about it. I'm sure something would have been said already to someone about it and it would have gotten back to ye if they actually did have an issue with paying for the rooms.

If you're still worried about it is there anyone else in either of your families that has had the wedding? Ye could ask them whether they paid for the parents rooms on the night.

emma82

I know exactly how your feeling!!! My chief BM has starting hinting about getting the bridal party rooms for the wedding night as part of their 'thank you' gift for being bridesmaids & groomsmen! I told her on no uncertain terms was I paying €780 for the bridal party to stay overnight when it'll cost them a tenner to get home in a taxi! I told her your dress, jewellery, shoes is your thank you!

BUT we are paying for our parents rooms. Mine have been extremly generous to us throughout the planning stage in terms of time & bought my dress & gave us some money so I feel its like a thank you to them. His folks will be staying too for same reasons. They didn't expect it but were delighted we'd thought on them. We got the rooms at a reduced price from hotel.

cyning

We're paying for parents and bridal party rooms: we've budgeted as part of the costs: tbh only one of our groomsmen (out of 3) and none of the bridesmaids are able to go home: its expensive enough to be a bridesmaid/groomsman I think without asking them to pay for their rooms too. Our parents rooms are part of our package though. BUT thats what we've budgeted for and everyone has different budgets etc and its totally different if they are all local aswell.

tinkerbell

emma82 wrote: »

I told her your dress, jewellery, shoes is your thank you!

I don't agree with having to fork out for them staying over in the hotel if they can get a taxi which will only take them 10 mins to get home. But in fairness - I think you were a bit rude there telling your bridesmaid that the dress, jewellery and shoes is a thank you - she is probably never gonna wear that dress or the shoes again and as for the jewellery - I don't know. It's not a thank you to dress her for the day, YOU want her to be in your wedding party, so you have to fork out for her clothes that day. It is not a thank you for agreeing to be there, what do you expect her to do - pay for the dress and things herself?

OP - if your reception is in a hotel close by where everyone lives, then there is no need to be booking rooms or paying for rooms for anyone else for that matter. None whatsoever.

suzieled

We`re paying for the bridal parties rooms. We`re getting the parents rooms as part of the deal but if they were not part of the deal, we would still be paying for them. This is norm round where I am from and I have no problem with it.

Unwilling

Well thank you to all.
Still a little unsure. As my parents are close enough to go home, but my Inlaws arent'.
They have already booked and paid for their own room - and made sure we were aware of that!
My parents on the other hand will probably just go home.. but here's the thing. My folks have shelled out for the wedding, so kinda feel like I should just book em a room so they can relax.

SO.. how do I book a room for my folks and then reimburse or whatever my inlaws so that we have paid for their room?

lighterthought

I would just tell you to stop worrying so much about making sure you've not offended anyone over these (totally unfair) expectations that people seem to have about you.
A bride and groom have enough to worry about planning a wedding over the better part of a year, not to add to it all this worry that all the parents get the same money spent on them etc.
Personally, for my wedding in a few months, one set of parents are local and i've not even thought about where they'll stay - I'll leave it up to them to book and pay to stay at the hotel if they wish. The other set of parents are coming from much farther away, so while i was able to get the hotel to give them a discounted rate, i'm letting those parents worry about the bill.

Stop trying to make everyone else happy - this is your wedding!