everything going tits up.....SAVE ME!!

LegacyUser

living at home for the last year for the final year of college. Now at the start it was ok, but tensions began to rise alot in the home. then i met a girl around feb and ended up staying in hers alot of the week, which ment between study and staying at hers i wasnt at home much. relationships in the home became easier and less stressed, and i was much happier and driven.

now she left and went on a bit of a holiday and that was fine, i managed to pick up two jobs, a second due to the first having limited hours as it was order based, now the second has kinda dried up, and work is scarce, although i am searching for full time grad work etc at the same time, im still making enough to survive so its ok.

the thing is tensions are begining to rise to dangerous levels now again, the mother seems to try to pick at everything i do, and nit pick to create arguments, even over stupid things, she will flip from being all happy to freaking out in the space of a mnute. its driving me mental. now i would escape if i had the money but i dont, so im stuck. the father is always lecturing me and giving out that im not doing anything to help myself whereas im always on the net searching for grad opportunities, it just so happens there is nothing out there....

on the other side of things, the girl im with is from another county, but distance isnt that much of a problem really, just an hour, but she is leaving the end of august for 3 mths then home for a month then gone again for 4 months. i have been in loads of relationships but this is the first time i have been in love, as in have experienced the first love years ago etc, so i think that what im feeling now is the real deal, its heart breaking to think i met this girl only to loose her again, its killing me!! i dont have any phobias or get scared of things, have stared death in the face a few times now due to accidents and one medical related incident and i wasnt scared, just more annoyed that if it did happen id miss out. but with this girl i am petrified that il lose her even though we have discussed starting somehting when she returns, but i'm not an idiot and everything is sbuject to change...


it just seems that life is going down the drain, and the harder i work at making it all happen and last and be calm and collected the faster it seems to spiral out of control. My head is just completely fried from it all!!!

sorry for the rant. can any one help me with any of this!!

Nevyn

How old is your mother?

Beruthiel

Thaedydal wrote: »

How old is your mother?

Yup. My first thought too, menopause.

LegacyUser

she is 50! ya probably that but its seriously taking the biscuit. as in spanish inquisition when i arrive home from anything. there is no longer such thing as a conversation, its either an inquisition or a bloody fight or a means to a fight!! im just losing the rag with it all, just seems that everything is piling on at once! between tryin to decide whether or not to tell the girl how i feel (even though it has only been six months together) before she heads away, how do i stop the tensions between my parents and i! will i ever find a graduate job! arghhh...i know that there are people who have it way worse and i should be counting my lucky stars that i am in love, that i have a degree now etc....but the positive thinking always leads me back to the thoughts of herself going away, the job etc.....sorry i know im in a bit of a mess at the mo!

Nevyn

It maybe that your Mam is undergoing menopause which is like pmt all the time as her body is haywired with hormoranes stopping and starting. So yes the tension in the house can be horrid and it feels like she is frustrated and constantly looking for a row.
Been there, done that, begged the mother to go talk to the dr and eventual she went on HRT for a while for her and all our sakes. So talk to her find how she is spend some time wtih her. It can be hard moving home, thier house rules and expectations can be different from how you want to live your life.

As for the gf moving away, long distance is a bitch but it can be doable for a while.

AngryBadger

OP when we're younger parents tend to criticise/advise/etc and we accept that's their role and think nothing more of it, (or so the theory goes).

We get older and self-sufficient, (which you clearly are), and we begin to resent this "interference", focusing on how infuriating it is without considering where it's coming from.

It's possible your parents are both as frustrated as you are, not necessarily with you, but at the situation. They want you to be able to find a job/grad position and get on with your life, because that's what any decent parent wants for their child. The problem is that your difficulties are no longer the kinds of difficulties that can be solved by a few words, a clip on the ear, or a hug. So suddenly your parents are finding that they're not able to help you, and that's a source of frustration fro them, particularly when they see that you're suffering with these problems everyday.

As you said this wasn't as much of an issue when you were spending most of your time out of the house.

Maybe I'm way off base, but I'd suggest you think about what I'm saying, a different perspective on where your parents are coming from may make it easier to deal with them.

Also you're not alone in having difficulty finding work, or graduate positions at the minute, most people are in the same boat, so try not to let that get you down. It sounds like you're doing everything you can, the only real option is to keep at it until something comes up.

Best of luck!