what to do...

LegacyUser

ok heres the thing.. was with a lad for 4-5 months but have not seen each other for 2 months because of summer break from college. I'm not so sure i want to be with him when i go back to college though, but decided i would wait until i seen him again to decide. I then cheated on him last week and another lad who i got talking to asked for my phone number and i gave it out of politeness, felt really bad about it afterwards. Anyways my question is... do i finish things now or wait until september when i see him again? Is it the better thing to finish things face to face than through a text message?? would it be right to keep seeing him in sept if i decide thats what i want when i see him??

LegacyUser

hi op.

tricky situation your in. i have been with a girl six months now, but she was away for six weeks.

now the thing is she is heading away in sept for 9 months. Now i will never cheat on her because i for the first time in 23 yrs have fallen in love with a girl and i know its not the "new love". and the way she kept in contact alot on holidays i believe she has fallen for me too. now me and my girl are from separate counties but get to see each other when we can, which is prob only gonna be about 10 times between now and when she heads off. and yes i am in a midst of torment with deciding on whether to keep it going, end it, or keep it going and try work the reallly long distance thing work! but i feel that the thing you have to ask yourself and i myself really, is how much do you like the college lad and is it worth your time! can you see him in the two months! but more so would you be willing to see him if it was even a little bit of an inconvienance? and also does it make you happy!!

im trying although hard to do when lead by the heart to live life logically, at teh moment im over the moon, and completly in love with a girl, yes i know she is heading away, and yes there is always teh possibility that it will end now, or at a later stage, but im happy NOW so why would i change it. if i found my self cheating or wanting to cheat then id question how i really felt about teh situation. im not vain but i am a good looking guy and i do get alot of compliments on a night out but im not phased or attracted to any other women at the moment, well that is not being more than just finding some one attractive!

so i think that op you will have to look at it where do you want to be now rather than where you want to be in sept. for me livin in the NOW is better and more realistic. although that said i cant help look to the future and hope, but at the end of the day the future is all ifs, and thats life, risks add spice and meaning to decisions.

My advice is use logic to asses it and leave your self decide then through your heart. and yes face to face is the way to go if you do end it with the guy, its a matter of respect for yourself and him and allows for actual closure on the relationship!!

hope my rambling and wandering of whats going on in my life help you some bit.

Good Advice

hey op...first of all are you going to tell him you cheated?you really should and whats stopping yous meeting up btw?
it seems like your just using this lad and your just going to be with him in sept out of selfishness incase you want to be with him it doesnt make sense. i dont mean to be harsh but your really playing this guy and why give out your number,thats leading someone on that your single...

lolo62

It all depends on how serious the things were during the 4/5 months you were together. 2 months of a break from seeing eachother is a long time considering you were only together 4/5 months before seperating.

It sounds like you're enjoying yourself and not too serious about the relationship even though you do like the guy and would like to see if it can go further.

If you weren't going to be seeing him until September anyway then there isn't really any urgency but if the guilt is getting to you then maybe you do actually really like him and should speak to him sooner and be honest about whats going on...if things do develop and 6 months down the line you haven't told him it will come out anyway...

LegacyUser

I'd say do him a favour and end it as soon as you next see him.