Am I going down the wrong path?

LegacyUser

Hi I'm a 19 year old girl. Well brought up, have a degree and generally quite lucky in so far as I live in a nice home, nice family/friends, have my own car, on the dole etc. basically things are grand. However, there's one thing that reeeeeally bothers me... when I was with my friend recently we were discussing sexual partners and she asked how many i've had and i stopped for a second to think and tbh I lost count! So I lied and said "um 2!"..

It's eating me up inside because not alone do I feel like my mom and nana (rip) would be devastated in me if they knew, but the fact that I cant even share it with my best friends means I'm hiding/ashamed of something. I haven't always practised safe sex and have caught Chlamidia once, and thrush numerous occasions, have had a few pregnancy scares, and now have been told I have Vaginal Bacteriosus (sorry if thats the wrong spelling!). I'm beginning to feel really low and ashamed in myself cuz I don't know if it's normal to have had so many sexual partners at such a young age and I'm also really upset that I've just been told I have BV. I'm not sure how I can tell my mom but as I'm still waiting on my dole i can't afford to pay for the anti-biotics atm and I can't ask a friend for a lend as i've too many debts with them so basically I'm asking two questions..

1) Is it abnormal to have had so many sexual partners at my age? (approx 15-20)

2) How can I buy the anti biotics when I've no money, what do I say to my mom? =[

Thanks for listening..

Miss Fluff

How do you have a degree at 19? You must have finished school very young.

In answer to your questions:

15-20 partners by the time you are 19 does seem like a lot. By the same token, nobody has a right to judge you. BUT not practicing safe sex is like giving a monkey a hand-grenade. For your own sake, and for the sake of any future sexual partners you simply have to practice safe sex. Why have you chosen not to? Are you ill-informed (and I am surprised if this is the case, you seem like a bright girl), or is the risk of having unprotected sex a thrill for you? You have caught chlamydia, thrush (which is not necessarily sexually transmitted) and have had numerous pregnancy scares. Does that not teach you anything?

I think it might be a good idea for you to go to a sexual health or well woman clinic and have an MOT and get professional advice on how best to protect yourself. You're playing Russian Roulette with your health.

In answer to your second question. BV, like thrush, is not sexually transmitted. It can be, but not necessarily. It can be brought on by humidity, wearing the wrong underwear and a whole host of other reasons. As such, you can tell your Mum that you have BV and ask her to pay for your antibiotics for you.

Fiend-Foe

I agree with everything above, good advice.

As for the anti-biotics, go to your local HSE health center and see the community welfare officer and apply for a medical card. It takes a little while to get the actual card but they will send you a letter to confirm it fairly quickly. If you have been going to your GP for a while they will accept this in the meantime. I had to do this myself recently.

15-20 isn't bad, there's no right or wrong number as everybody is different. But the risks you are taking are wrong and someday you might do some serious harm to your health or end up getting pregnant.

Don't be so hard on yourself, but learn from your mistakes and look after yourself.

Miss Fluff

Miss Fluff wrote: »

How do you have a degree at 19? You must have finished school very young.

Could also have done a 3 year degree at just gone 17 but yeah

OP the number doesn't matter but the health part does. Using proper protection is vital both barrier for STI point of view and the pill for pregnancy point of view.

For anti-bios you can get the medical card or ask your mum as I don't think it's strictly from sex only