telling my dad iv a gf?

orlaithf700

hey well iv always liked girls but iv now got a gf the last month or so
shes been down and stuff to my house and i live with my dad but i think he knows its more than just a close friendship cos im either going up to her at least once a week or shes coming down etc
he said tonight 'you 2 are very close arent you?'
but iv decided to tell him when he comes back off holidays....just dont know how
any advice?
thanks :)

Dr. Baltar

Just remember the more serious you make the conversation, the more serious your dad will take the conversation. It's easier to keep it simple and just say "i'm gay, i have a girlfriend" - ensure your dad you're the same person today that you were yesterday and that you want to tell him because you love him.

Leave it at that and let him mull it over in his mind for a couple of days.

deirdre_dub

orlaithf700 wrote: »

i think he knows its more than just a close friendship cos im either going up to her at least once a week or shes coming down etc
he said tonight 'you 2 are very close arent you?'

I wouldn't bet on it that he has figured it out.

but iv decided to tell him when he comes back off holidays....just dont know how
any advice?
thanks :)

I believe that the shorter the speech you give the better. If you give a long speech, you may actually end up addressing your fears and not his. So I would say keep it short and simple, and then listen.

Also, if he has issues, then it is likely that his initial response won't be his last. So if he initially seems a bit "off", don't think that means he is going to reject you - he might need just a bit of time to absorb the information.

Good luck!

No direct advice really as I do not know your dad and so can not tell you how to go about telling him. Each person is different and only you know him well enough to know for sure the best way to approach him on it.

What I can tell you as advice though is to not take any initial bad reactions too hard if they come. From experience directly and indirectly I can tell you that often parents do NOT take this stuff well at first. Many do of course, but many do not. It is best to understand why this may be BEFORE you tell your dad, so you can be understanding of any initial bad reaction he shows.

They think everything bad from there being something wrong with you to you just being used by the other person and it is all just a whim that might leave you hurt.

I myself saw this with both of the girls I am with, in that we are in a 3-way relationship and have been for over 2 years now. The parents of both of them did not take it well at first. They thought I was in it for the “fun” and was just using them for sex and that I would dump them when bored and leave them behind.

It took some time, but most of the parents who take it bad at first come around slowly. As they see this is not a whim but something you are committed to and it really is what you want, they come around and support you. After all parents want what is best for you, but when they hear something out of the norm they at first think that this is NOT what is best for you and react badly.

I guess there are always parents who will NEVER come around, and I am sure there are many with such stories on here especially, but thankfully I find they are very much in the minority at the end of the day.

I myself have been lucky. The parents of the girls came around when they saw that not only am I serious, and committed, but that the girls love each other very deeply too and it is not all about me on one side and them on the other.

In short… go for it, like the others say keep it short but be prepared if he does not take it well at first. Be understanding, patient, listen listen listen and do not lash out in response if he does first. If he is not happy with it at first, just continue to show him that this really is you, this really is what you want, and it is serious and not just a whim.

baby and crumble

Like other people said, keep it short and to the point. in general i've found that while you can go into feelings and fears and emotions with mums and sisters and stuff, guys are better of being told facts and being left to digest.

and it may take years for your dad to see your gf as a gf, and he may never say 'your girlfriend' or partner or whatever, so dont be disappointed that it's not immediate. i came out to my folks 7 years ago and it's only last week that my dad properly and specifically invited my girlfriend to a family get together. doesn't mean he didn't like her before, or whatever, it's just... dads can be weird, especially about daughters.

smokin ace

orlaithf700 wrote: »

hey well iv always liked girls but iv now got a gf the last month or so
shes been down and stuff to my house and i live with my dad but i think he knows its more than just a close friendship cos im either going up to her at least once a week or shes coming down etc
he said tonight 'you 2 are very close arent you?'
but iv decided to tell him when he comes back off holidays....just dont know how
any advice?
thanks :)

with your dad already saying 'you 2 are very close arent you?' he more than likely knows but not saying anything and he is more than likely giving you time for you to say it to him first
my advise is to just be straight with him after all he is your dad and like i said he more than likey knows already

crotalus667

I'd say something like


Dad you know when you said 'you 2 are very close arent you?' ?? you where right , we are dating , It's not really a big deal , it's just she is the first girl I felt serious enough about to want to tell you .

Also if there is some thing you get or make him for a treat do it that way he has a positive assocation

orlaithf700

thank you so much peoples