Am I obsessive?

LegacyUser

I don't know if I'm obsessive or not but it sure feels like it as when my mam or sister calls to the house I spend all my time fretting before and after they call that they'll dirty my cream carpet!! It sounds so insane. My sister has a son who comes to and he jumps all over the furniture and sticks his dirty hands in my babys mouth while my sister says nothing!
I'm not by any means overly clean myself as in I only clean/vaccum once a week and then just keep the place tidy during the week. It's like I just don't want to have anyone call to me at all really, this includes friends too. I dread people saying they'll call in!
My family call me "Mrs Bucket" because I don't let them smoke in the house, I make them go outseide. They have started to go into the utility room when it's cold outside which annoys me as I have clothes in there which stink of smoke.
I have a little boy aged 7 months and I'm by no means obsessive with him but I hate to see my family call and rub our dog down and then not wash their hands. It's an outside dog and he's fairly minging the best of times.
I'm so sorry for the long post, I'm more trying to get my own head around this. There is only my mam and sister and they both have dirty homes, my mam especially. We grew up in a filthy environment so maybe thats why I'm a bit anal/obsessive. The thing is, it's only those two I seem to freak out over. I don't mind my OH's mum calling as shes a very clean person. My husband is a mechanic who drags oil and other crap over the floors the majority of times and this doesn't bother me as much as my own family who do nothing to warrant these thoughts at all really. It's not as though they come in walking stuff all over my floors, they don't. It's just that they are so dirty in their own homes.
My sister has a son of 8 who she has never taught to wash his hands after using the toilet or after anything basically. I was in my mums one day after he had used the bathroom and there was poo all over the floor (Tmi I know).
The reason I'm rabbitting on is that my mam has offered to mind my baby when I go back to work in my own home which is so handy but I'm just terrified my house is going to be filty, and my son too!
I'm reading back over this post and I think I really need to see someone. I sound like a crazy woman!! Has anyone any advice on how I can jut chill the hell out and relax?

Neyite

you might be overreacting a little bit, but why the hell not? you have a little baby, he is your priority. ok a small bit of exposure to germs builds up our immune system, and i dont believe in trying to create a sterile bubble for your baby but not washing hands after the toilet, or petting a dirty dog then picking up your baby - yeah, would kinda turn my stomach too.

put smokers out in the shed. no buts (pardon the pun!) there is a baby in the house. it is this babys house too. it should not matter if it is pelting rain. they will soon get used to avoiding visiting you on wet days because they know they will be turfed out regardless.

you sound like you keep on top of housework - and your mum doesnt. i would have reservations too if i faced the possibility of coming home to an evening of cleaning in front of me, instead of quality time with baba.

what does your hubby think? surely as a mechanic who comes in filthy he will tell you if you are overreacting and need to see someone or not. i would explain exactly what you said here to him and find out what he thinks.

tinkerbell

You are not obsessive at all. It really irritates me when people say that you can be TOO clean when it comes to things like the kitchen and so on. There's being exposed to some germs so that you build up an immune system but you do NOT want to be exposed to germs like salmonella, germs from no handwashing after bathroom, etc.

If anybody called to my house and they had an unruly child - I would tell their parent to control their child or else leave. I'm sorry but any person who lets their child runamuck around somebody else's home has no respect for you. The next time your sister calls over with her son and he starts going crazy, give out to him, and if he doesn't stop - then tell your sister that she either starts teaching him some manners or else that he is not welcome anymore / she needs to leave. I find this behaviour disgusting actually. It's completely disrespectful.

And I am fed up of people saying "oh it's only a child". A child should be taught from day 1 the difference between right and wrong and a child knows fairly quickly what is right and what is bold.

I don't have children but do want them one day. If I were visiting a friends house, my children would not be running around like wild maniacs - they would know that they need to play quietly and behave themselves, it's the basics of parenting.

As for your mother minding your child - if you are concerned about your child's health while being in her house, then I would say no that it's not an option. Your child's health is priority and that's that.

Also on the cream carpet thing, next time they call - tell them you have new house rules - they leave their shoes in the hall beside the door. That way you don't have to worry about muddy footprints.

And as for those idiot smoking friends of yours - if they want to fill their lungs with nicotine or whatever it is, then let them do that but it's not allowed in your house. I can't believe the nerve of these people who think that just because they want to destroy their health, that they think they are entitled to stink up other people's houses too! If they want to smoke, go outside. Otherwise no smoking.

But seriously - stand up for yourself. Your house, your rules.

LegacyUser

i am a bit like that, always take off shoes inside door, wear slippers/nothing in house. if someone does come in, which i prefer not to i wash the floor. It is not carpet , I would not have carpet for that reason. It is just tiles but will eventually be laminate in living room.

Upstairs is off limits as its carpet but rarely have callers. If any work has to be done then a plastic sheeting used for painting is used.

Used to have a family member who had disgusting personal habits and wore filty clothes and sat on my leather suite and i had to clean that and floor each time. So i told them i prefer if i have no visitors.

Now i have none. Or very rarely a friend who i just bring to kitchen and only have kitchen/hall floor to clean.

I guess i have bit OCD but do not care, at least it is clean. I cannot stand dirty people who try put their lack of hygiene on me. And i agree that children should be controlled, no child of mine would be allowed carry on as described in someone else house as described by OP

LegacyUser

Also OP there is a difference between poor personal hygiene and dirt like a mechanics. The latter is in my view not as dirty.Clean dirt as a man i knew used to say

Low personal hygiene is disgusting and shows just how disgusting people can be. I see people at the lighs picking their noses and saw a guy in the food dept of a supermarket picking his. but the worst was the guy leafing through papers in bookshop who pick his nose and put out his tongue to lick his finger. I would not touch anything in that shop for weeks. filthy basket