Absent from Graduation

fakearms123

I need a bit of advice, I finished college in May and started work straight away in June, I only had less than a week off before I started into work after finishing my final year exams, I really want to do a bit of travelling and I couldnt do it this summer because of my commitments to work but my parents promised me that if I worked this summer that I could travel in October and I wouldnt have to take out a loan because I would have earned the money, now this is where I have lost sleep over. The graduation is in november, I think the 1st, I have already applied for voluntary work in Nevada, US doing forest and desert conservation around Lake Tahoe which runs from 1st october to 21st november, which sounds amazing, but my parents dont know when my graduation is and if they find out ill be away for it they will definitely cancel my trip. I will be miserable if I have to hang around here in Ireland after working the entire summer just to take a few pictures in a robe and hold a piece of paper. Any advice on what I should do?

Webmonkey

Not everyone shows up to their graduation but from the family perspective I guess they'd like you to be present. It's up to your and your family to agree.

fakearms123

Webmonkey wrote: »

Not everyone shows up to their graduation but from the family perspective I guess they'd like you to be present. It's up to your and your family to agree.

I got a 1.1 and my mam is so excited about the graduation, she would be so upset if she didnt get to see me graduate and I know that a letter in the post wouldn't be enough for her but Ive been waiting 2 years now to do a bit of travelling, in the past 2 years Ive only been away for 1 week, the rest of that has been studying or working, I worked hard for this and I think I deserve to head away and enjoy myself. Im losing sleep over this!

g5fd6ow0hseima

When will we actually get a definite date for our graduation?

Einstein?

Sounds like the kid starring in "Into the wild".

You don't want to end up like him do you?

Webmonkey

Einstein? wrote: »

Sounds like the kid starring in "Into the wild".

You don't want to end up like him do you?

I knew it reminded me of something!

Sid_Justice

It sounds like your parents have a over stated role in your personal affairs. On a more helpful note, it is possible to defer graduation / and or change the date, it's not that common. You should contact the relevant office and try and see if you can have your graduation date changed. I'm not sure if 'I'm going on holiday" is a justifiable excuse.

oldyouth

I'm speaking as a parent of a young man who has just secured a top degree at DCU.

My son realises that perhaps he didn't do it ALL on his own and he sees his graduation as a thank you to his mum & me. I'd be gutted to miss this occasion where I can stand up and be proud of my son.

Just my perspective on it

g5fd6ow0hseima

oldyouth wrote: »

I'm speaking as a parent of a young man who has just secured a top degree at DCU.

My son realises that perhaps he didn't do it ALL on his own and he sees his graduation as a thank you to his mum & me. I'd be gutted to miss this occasion where I can stand up and be proud of my son.

Just my perspective on it

Drag him by the fcukin ear if ye have to!

KenHy

Go on your trip, Graduation is a nice touch, but you deserve your trip away even more after 3/4 years of hard work. You probably will not get a chance to do that type of stuff again. Your Parents should understand that graduation is only an hour or two of watching people collect sheets of paper, the reward for receiving a degree should not be to miss out on the trip of a lifetime.

jdivision

I didn't go to mine, parents were annoyed but I hated DCU so I didn't care. i went to work, I was freelance and it was more important to do that then turn up in some gown. DCU showed its usual alertness by sending my degree to where I did my Erasmus instead of my home address.

pathway33

As a general rule, parents support their children through college for 1 of 2 reasons. Either a) they love their child or b) they want to control their child. Parents who love their child understand if you choose the chance of a lifetime to do voluntary work over some pumped up day that means nothing to you.

If you love something set it free

jdivision

Seriously, I went to a mate's one. They walk up, collect a cert then sit back down, then have photos taken. It's all a bit silly

Webmonkey

jdivision wrote: »

Seriously, I went to a mate's one. They walk up, collect a cert then sit back down, then have photos taken. It's all a bit silly

No one has to collect it. Colleges can post it.

jdivision

I know, read my previous post.

dak

I work in DCU and prior to that I was General Manager of Phelan Conan ,the robe makers. If you miss your Graduation you can always hire your robes for a day, and take photos with your parents etc. Most parents just want a photo that they can frame and keep on the side board !

Unwilling

OK - i'll probably get ten lashes for saying this but is there any possibility you could save a few extra bob and fly home for the graduation... it might be costly BUT
YOU get to do your travel and take time out that is well deserved
and
YOUR FOLKS get to experience that day with you.


I can see that it is important. It's also just a ritual and your participation in it takes 10 mins, name called, walk up, shake hands, get cert, smile ... and over.
BUT it's a milestone in your life.

I am missing my own this year. I studied at night for three years but I'll be on honeymoon.......... which I did consider rescheduleding!!!!

manatoo

I didn't go to mine.... never got my parchment either though :-(

jmbkay

oldyouth wrote: »

I'm speaking as a parent of a young man who has just secured a top degree at DCU.

My son realises that perhaps he didn't do it ALL on his own and he sees his graduation as a thank you to his mum & me. I'd be gutted to miss this occasion where I can stand up and be proud of my son.

Just my perspective on it

I'm speaking as a parent of college student too, one who has just got a scholarship to study in America. As another poster said graduation dates can be deferred and I think going to do voluntary work is a good enough reason. You can both have both!

jmbkay

KenHy wrote: »

Go on your trip, Graduation is a nice touch, but you deserve your trip away even more after 3/4 years of hard work. You probably will not get a chance to do that type of stuff again. Your Parents should understand that graduation is only an hour or two of watching people collect sheets of paper, the reward for receiving a degree should not be to miss out on the trip of a lifetime.

This is exactly what my husbands graduation was like. Several families were only interested in their own relative, and some even walked out when they received the parchment, despite being asked not to. Others chatted among themselves, showing little interest. Children shifted around restlessly. I had to push my husband into his official photograph. We had a great weekend, but he didn't consider it the be all and end all.

snickerpuss

I've graduated twice and it's incredibly boring! I was mainly only happy that I managed not to fall down the stairs off the stage. The USA trip sounds like an amazing opportunity. Your parents are possibly overestimating how exciting the graduation is going to be. Plus you might always graduate again from a postgrad, especially with a 1.1 :-)

Art_Wolf

Unwilling wrote: »

OK - i'll probably get ten lashes for saying this but is there any possibility you could save a few extra bob and fly home for the graduation...

Aye, it is a bit expensive - $7/800 round trip but it may be doable if you have some savings

Unwilling wrote: »

I studied at night for three years but I'll be on honeymoon.......... which I did consider rescheduleding!!!!

heh keeping your priorities in perspective is a good point