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Can't break up.

  • 12-07-2010 7:45am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago but got back together after a week. I broke up with her due to certain actions she did (not cheating) over a period of time which showed she did not put me ahead of her friends.

    She invited me away for a weekend and left on the Saturday to go to a concert with a friend. She says I knew about it but I did not....

    The weekend before was her birthday. She invited her ex (which I hate) and told off my brother...


    When I broke up with her, it was really hard. The hardest thing emotionally I have experienced in my life. We met up after the week and talked. I did not want to get back together but when I am near her I just want her to be happy.

    I have tried to break up again a few times since then but the words wont come out when I try to say them. I feel like I am always doing what she wants just so as I wont hurt her. I really dont want to.

    I have major depression and at the moment I can barely sleep, I don't eat much (maybe something small at dinner time) and I cry, a lot. I get bad headaches. I feel so stressed....

    For some reason the thought of breaking up with her continuously goes around in my head. I have to listen to rock music to quiet the thoughts for a while.

    Help :(


Comments

  • #2
    D-Generate
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,945 ✭✭✭D-Generate


    A 3 week "relationship" and you are that cut up? Jeeze, at 3 weeks its not like you are leaving wife and kids, just tell her to her face and delete the number. Its clear its not gonna work out. I assume you are quite young and there are going to be plenty more relationships and break ups, might aswell get the breaking up practice in now!


  • #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    You might want to read the OPs first sentence again D-Generate

    OP – You say you do not want to break up with her because the last thing you want to do is hurt her. However it sounds like the relationship is over.

    What you need to do is get it into your head that NOT breaking up with her is going to, and likely is, hurting her and the longer you extend it the more that hurt will be. Remember she has a life too and she needs to get on with it, so the sooner you do what you are going to do eventually, the better it will be for her.

    Remember every day in a relationship is an investment, so every day you drag it out is an investment she is making under false pretences.

    You are right to not want to hurt her, you just have to realise that your idea of how to do it is almost exactly backwards.


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