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No confidence

  • 12-07-2010 1:27am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have no confidence anymore. I used to have enough but I went through a bad break up and just have none, i'm at rock bottom. I've broken up with my ex a few years, it's not that I still want to be with him but he really knocked my confidence and all the things i did after the break up have made my confidence reach rock bottom. I slept with a married guy, had sex with a few random strangers. I just feel disgusted with myself. Worthless. I feel like i've go more and more ugly because i feel ugly inside! Two of the guys i slept with said they didn't fancy me, which crushed me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go out anymore it's that bad.


Comments

  • #2
    lolo62
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,145 ✭✭✭lolo62


    i would say don't go out for a while...if you are feeling that way and vulnerable clubs and pubs are the worst places to go...full of people who will use and abuse you and take advantage of the way you are right now.

    why don't you focus on changing how you feel inside and improve your self-worth...do yoga classes, go shopping...find other ways to make yourself feel better and turn to them instead of men that will treat you like s**t!


  • #3
    jessiejam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 778 ✭✭✭jessiejam


    sluttymacnutty wrote: »
    I have no confidence anymore. I used to have enough but I went through a bad break up and just have none, i'm at rock bottom. I've broken up with my ex a few years, it's not that I still want to be with him but he really knocked my confidence and all the things i did after the break up have made my confidence reach rock bottom. I slept with a married guy, had sex with a few random strangers. I just feel disgusted with myself. Worthless. I feel like i've go more and more ugly because i feel ugly inside! Two of the guys i slept with said they didn't fancy me, which crushed me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go out anymore it's that bad.

    You say you don't want to be with him but it sounds like you want to be with someone. Hence the random sex. We all want to feel wanted after a break up and you may have thought having sex with strangers would fulfill this need. It doesn't though it just makes you feel worse as you have discovered.

    I have an issue with anyone sleeping with someone whos married, but, he was the one married not you, so let that one go and put it down to experience, one that you won't repeat.

    Did those 2 other guys tell you out of the blue they didn't fancy you or did you ask them straight out. If you asked them it again reinforces my point that you want someone to want you, and by them wanting you, you thought that would give your ego a bit of a boost, making you more confident.

    I think every man would have more respect for a woman who didn't sleep with them on the first night. As for what they said to you take it on the chin, and take no notice. Bet they didn't say it before you slept with them!... and i'm sure they weren't oil paintings either!

    Your going the wrong way of trying to get your confidence back. Surround yourself with people you like and people that like you. Friends, family etc.. Do things you like doing not things you think you should be doing. If you don't want to go out for a while, don't. Your under no pressure to. You have to love yourself first before letting anyone else love you.

    Its ok to feel down sometimes, but if you need a bit of help to cross this hurdle, talk to your gp.

    Your confidence will return, it'll take time but you will come out of this stronger and more confident in the end.

    What doesn't kill us will make us stronger and all that
    Best of luck to you;)


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