made my grandmother cry

LegacyUser

Hi,

I recently moved abroad, possibly forever but it makes me sad to think that so i try not to.

Anyway when i said goodbye to my grandmother, she started crying - she tried to hide it from me, but not very successfully. I cant stop feeling guilty and when i think about it (which is a lot), it makes me cry too....she lives alone and she's often lonely.I just feel so bad, like ive deserted her. Ive never ever seen her cry before - i dont know what advice im looking for, i know i cant do anything for her now. I just hate the fact that i caused her to feel sad.
There is other family members, but we were close to each other.

christ on a bike!

She cried because she is going to miss you, but also because she is happy for you, that you are growing up and having a good life. She's probably thinking of how much you have grown and getting emotional.

There's nothing you can do about, except make sure that you call often. And write, a handwritten letter will mean a hell of a lot to her and she will really enjoy some old fashioned correspondance

R.D. aka MR.D

When I went away I thought it would be for a very long time and my Granny cried when I was saying goodbye to her. She was the only one in my family to cry!

To be honest she probably cried because of her life experiences. I know before I went away my gran talked lots about her friends who had gone away to America or Australia. She herself wasn't in Ireland for years.

When I called her at xmas there she couldn't believe it. And my mum prints of emails and gives them to her to read. (I can't send post here)

She comes from a time when 'going away' meant something very distant but with technology and cheap world phonecalls your never far away.

Once you start to be in regular contact with her again I'm sure she'll be fine.

Beruthiel

unregistered wrote: »

Anyway when i said goodbye to my grandmother, she started crying - she tried to hide it from me, but not very successfully. I cant stop feeling guilty.

Don't feel guilty.
Your Gran is full of life experience.
She understands well the different phases of life and what one must do during that span of years.
She knows each of us will only be happy living the life we choose for ourselves.

She cried because she loves you and will miss you.
She cried because she is proud of you and the fact that you are out in the world doing well for yourself.
Send her postcards. Call her. Keep in contact. It will cheer her up and make her feel contacted to you.

amybabes

Hi Op.

I can totally relate to this post as i went through the same thing just over a year ago with my grandmother. I was the first to start crying though as it broke my heart saying goodbye in case anything happened before i got home to see her again......we both knew it could be the last time we would see each other, i started first even though i excused myself from the room and tried to hide it but it didnt work and we both held onto each other and cried...... my nanny is 87 like, we both know she won't live forever.
She was the only one i cried saying goodbye to, i left not knowing how long id be gone for, im still away at the other side of the world 13 months later and think it might be a forever thing. Lots of things make me sad and homesick at times, but nothing like thinking of her. I dread to think what might happen but you have to live for yourself. At the moment i dream of something happening her most nights and wake up crying.....i think its just telling me how much i miss her, and home.....but its like having your worst nightmare every time u go asleep.
I agree with the above poster who said call and write as much as u can, send home little gifts....do you have someone who would set up skype at her side so you could do that?

Yea as the other posters are basically saying, saying goodbye to your children, or even your children’s children, is a natural part of life. Nothing to feel guilty about.

She most likely said goodbye to parents or grand parents at some point herself, and in the future there will probably be kids who say goodbye to you on their way out. You will probably find that when they do you will think back to YOUR GM crying and it will make you cry.

And so the cycle goes on. This is just the life we lead in this world. Think nothing of it, but keep sending your GM post cards, updates, and letters. Even the things that seem silly to you, and boring, like “I went shopping today and would you BELIEVE the price of water melons here” will be a joy to her.

ManOfMystery

Yeah, as above - make sure your gran knows you're still thinking of her, no matter what. The odd phone call, email, letter, whatever - doesn't have to be for a reason, just do it.

Neyite

can you get someone to set her up with a skype account, with webcam?

we did this for granny to see the grandkids abroad grow up - and she has gotten the hang of it now since she uses it a few times a week.

its pretty user friendly.

Miss Fluff

Lol, I remember living in China a couple of years back and being on Skype to my beloved Granny and she nearly fainted with the excitement. She couldn't get over how she could have a chat with me 5,000 miles away and she kept peering REALLY close to the webcam like I might actually be in there. Bless

Don't be upset you made your little Granny cry. It's only because she loves you and will miss you and is proud. If you feel sad about it, just make a promise to yourself (and stick to it) that you will phone her the odd time and write her a nice letter (oldies love letters - think it is such a shame it is a dying artform actually) and just let her know you are doing well. Big up any achievements etc as well so she can tell all her buddies at mass or bingo how well you are doing

Firetrap

Skype is a good idea if you can get broadband in your gran's area. I'm not suggesting that she needs to learn how to use a computer or anything but if there's family member who has a PC, I'm sure it could be arranged for your gran to visit them when you call.

Other than that, just keep in contact with her as best you can.

Denimgirl

Try to give her a quick call every week and send pics to her and let her know your enjoying your experience abroad it will bring a smile to her face,you to staying in contact with her will give her something to look forward to each week when she's waiting for your phone or letter. I was so close to my Nan she passed 7 years ago,stay in contact as much as possible with her.I bet she misses you but is proud that you are travelling and seeing the world too.

Sleepy

Beruthiel wrote: »

Don't feel guilty.
Your Gran is full of life experience.
She understands well the different phases of life and what one must do during that span of years.
She knows each of us will only be happy living the life we choose for ourselves.

She cried because she loves you and will miss you.
She cried because she is proud of you and the fact that you are out in the world doing well for yourself.
Send her postcards. Call her. Keep in contact. It will cheer her up and make her feel contacted to you.

+1

Read that every time you feel bad about your granny crying.

dellas1979

Ahhh this thread really warmed the cockels of my heart and brought back memories.

You are so lucky to still have your granny (Ive none at this stage). And I second what everyone else is saying above.

As said above, grannies etc LOVE letters. OMG - the excitement from getting a letter from my brother, who was in boarding school, nearly sent her over the edge!!! She kept all those letters in an empty biscuit tin and we found them after she died. Keep in contact with her, no matter how or what.