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Feeling pretty damned trapped

  • 08-07-2010 6:30pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Well. I haven't done this in quite a long time. Where to start ---

    --- guess at the beginning would be a good idea.

    I'm slowly coming out of a pretty dark time that happened for the last part of last year and early part of this. It was pretty touch and go and I came very close to losing it totally. Since then I've put measure in place to try and prevent myself from slipping back but these are slowly coming loose.

    I hate my job. I hate everything about my job and I feel sick thinking about working. I only work weekends, because I worried that I could not survive working full time there. Every Thursday and Friday I get slight panic attacks when I realise I have to work. Only problem is that I'm stuck. There are no other jobs. And the first person who says, "You should be lucky to have a job" will get a punch in the mouth. Like I said earlier, I hate my job, and it is the one of the main reasons with me slipping back to the way I was. But I'm in no position to quit, because I have too many financial requirements that are preventing me from. Every day in work I feel like walking out and telling everyone that works there, all the customers and whoever I meet to just go f**k themselves.

    I hate my housemates. They're ignorant and messy and act like children. They never clean up after themselves, always smoke in the house, despite being asked by my other house mates (that I get on well with) not to. So it's a majority thing, but they still insist. I hate the lingering smell of smoke and weed. Only problem is that I can't afford to move house, which brings me back to my job.

    Everyday lately I feel like I'm going insane. I have no close friends, I'm not close with my family and .. I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.


Comments

  • #2
    wolfric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭wolfric


    Escapism .... just try do something healthy until you can get away. Try getting out of the house and going for walks/runs or even just window shopping if you're into anything in particular. Can you talk to your family about it?

    Keep looking for other jobs. Find little things to distract you and help make the days easier. Funny enough it's the childlike games that make life brighter and easier to manage.

    Grab a notebook or sign up for a blog and put your thoughts down every day. I found this helped me greatly. Even though you know what you're going to say, it really helps to write it down.

    If you can look up some groups around your area that might do something you're interested even to get out for a few nights to a difference scene it might help.


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