The Single Vibes??

Sultan1

Do single men give off vibes that they are single??
Im 30 years old and have been single for some time, past relationship problems included culture clashes, I dated some girls from poland ect. and my ex girlfriend was french. And I seem to meet the wrong Irish girls. Im 30 now and I think that when your in your 30's your needs for a relationship completely changes from your 20's, personally I dont think pubs, clubs ect is an ideal way to meet someone and possibly an alcaholic enviorment is not ideal either,the thing is when your in a relationship you clearly dont give off the same vibes as you do when your single and maybe give off vibes that are not very positive. Does anyone agree??

LegacyUser

Do single men give off vibes that they are single??
Im 30 years old and have been single for some time, past relationship problems included culture clashes, I dated some girls from poland ect. and my ex girlfriend was french. And I seem to meet the wrong Irish girls. Im 30 now and I think that when your in your 30's your needs for a relationship completely changes from your 20's, personally I dont think pubs, clubs ect is an ideal way to meet someone and possibly an alcaholic enviorment is not ideal either,the thing is when your in a relationship you clearly dont give off the same vibes as you do when your single and maybe give off vibes that are not very positive. Does anyone agree??

I don't buy into any of this giving off vibes stuff, well apart from if you're out and standing there looking cranky/bored out of your tree obviously nobodys going to warm to you, but i think some people are just plain unlucky when it comes to relationships, myself included, i think most of the time its just a case of being in the right place at the right time and meeting someone..i think as cruel as it may sound as you get older, it becomes about who you're willing to settle for, (which i've sadly seen among many of my female friends),some people seem to just latch onto the first person who shows an interest. But for those of us who aren't willing to settle, well its just bloody hard to find someone..

HavingCrack

A lot of the time men in a relationship are more highly prized than a man who is single-the whole 'I want what I can't have' mentality some women display. Whether single people give off a specific vibe....I doubt it to be honest.

cinderella2010

I have never seen or felt the vibe so to speak...I have been single for the last six months and have spent a lot of time socialising and have not been asked out on a single date....perhaps guys dont do that anymore...I was in a relationship for a long time but I dont know where I would go about looking for guys to date...I am single, 29, f, attractive and its not just me my friends have the same issue...we go out every weekend and guys wouldn't even approach us, well bar the really drunk obnoxious ones, but they dont count. I do look around and I try make eye contact with guys I would be attracted to but usually come away dateless

Sultan1

Maybe bars are the wrong places im 30 m attractive also, and im a good talker, i think taking the next step is the hardest for everyone, probably the fear of rejection. so maybe guys might want to approace you and ask you out but might be afraid of rejection

cinderella2010

Yes I guess you are right....I do fear rejection.....and bars are prob not the best spot but I don't see that I have much choice....I smoke socially and I actually find that I do sometimes talk to people when smoking however I have not met anyone I felt I would like to keep talking to or would like to talk to again.....
I dont do casual and I would like to meeting someone that wanted to meet someone....from what I gather from my friends guys ask for phone numbers on nights out but never ever text, this seems to be a common issue....a make friend of mine told me guys ask for numbers to lure girls into a false sense of security and have a higher chance of getting into bed with her if they ask for phone number first....on principal a lot of girls now will not give out their number after 12AM

Sultan1

yeah i think thats why bars ar nt the best places, when i talk to girls i like i give them my business card maybe this is a way of avoiding the fear of rejection i dont do casual either so i dont really go clubbing, i do go to bars i think ill meet nice girls but i agree it gets a bit crazy after a certin hour

cinderella2010

yes I agree...I do go clubbing but I love to dance with my friends and we go out so late we always end up in a club....its not easy out there....plus there are all the stupid "rules" dont text the guy first, dont reply to his text for a day, never ask a question in a text and always make sure he text last....why cant people just play it straight and forget the games...if your not interested dont ask for a number and defo dont text...if you like the person text ask to meet up if they say no move on.....also if its someone new it an idea to friend them on facebook so you can get an idea of the person etc...are they a tool leaving stupid comments and you can always get to know them better on facebook chat

AngryBadger

2 things;

The rules:
Were made by idiots for idiots. Don't abide by them, and when you don't abide by them and somebody doesn't reply or meet you again, either they weren't interested to begin with, or they're an idiot in which case breathe a sigh of relief; you've just dodged a bullet.

"Single vibe":
It's probably easier to describe the "vibe" of people that are in relationships. We've all experienced the elation, and confidence that being in a relationship can give you. Obviously this confidence is reflected in the way we carry ourselves, how we behave toward other people (most especially members of the opposite gender), and so on. Also, when you're in a relationship already you have a comfort zone which you never have to leave, thus it doesn't really matter to you if the person you're talking to is attracted to you or not, so again your approach is completely different.

It should be easy to see how single people may not behave the same way, and so appear to exude a different "vibe" to attached people.

Obviously I'm painting in very broad strokes here, we can all point out exceptions and bleat about being super-confident single people. But in a general sense what I'm saying is applicable, and most of us (if we're honest) have experienced both sides of it.

There is no fast solution to this, as the saying goes, try, try again.

LegacyUser

OP,
You have been out with foreign girls before.
I think you could try to frequent places where foreign girls hang out.
Maybe try to find another Polish girl or some other nationality.
Good luck!

I do not think there is a vibe, but a lot of us guys when we are looking for a girl actually allow that to define us. It becomes who we are. We are the guy looking for a girl.

The more you let it define you the more boring you will become. The more boring you become the less likely you will be to get a girl.

Finding a partner happens when you least expect it, normally when you are engrossed in something else in your life. The trick is always to forget about finding someone and find yourself instead. You will find the partner thing sorts itself out in the end.

entropi

Just like AngryBadger was talking about OP, the vibe of being in a relationship is what actually makes alot of men more attractive to women. It all boils down to confidence in the end, being comfortable with who you are, not setting out to attain something you dont really need anyway (relationship, in the case of guys in one) and perfectly able to piece together and have a normal conversation with a woman without instantly giving her reason to avoid you for coming on to her right away.

It takes time and a fair bit of interacting with women in a purely social setting, chatting with them as you would with regular female friends if you've got some is a great way to learn the ropes:) Then they can see you are not purely there for a quick kiss/shag/whatever and hold interest in what they have to say.

Best of luck with your endeavours!