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Internet dating

  • 07-07-2010 10:39am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I have been seeing a guy I met online for around six months. All going fine. We both hid our profiles after a few months though to be honest it took him a bit longer than me.

    Anyhow when we messaged initially he added me as a favourite. Because of this I can see when he last logged on.. I actually don't mean to be snoopy here, this is something i just discovered by accident ages ago.. I have been resisting the urge to log on myself recently to see if he has been online though something told me he may be..

    Anyhow I logged on today as I am going to delete my profile and couldn't help but have a look at my favourites. Sure enough he was last online two weeks ago. I think his profile is still hidden so do you think it's a bit strange he's still online? He was only on the site a very short while before we met so really the only thing he could be looking at is other girls' profiles..

    Not sure how to broach this.. am tempted to be straight about it and say it out.. Any people's opinions/advice appreciated. I am a bit gutted I have to say.. We had been getting on really really well, particularly around the point he was online. But surely it's not good that he's still online and checking out other options?


Comments

  • #2
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Maybe he logged on to delete his profile and, without meaning to snoop, noticed your last log-in and thought the same thing.

    Just say it. "Maybe we should delete our profiles."

    Easy.



    The internet causes so much hassle. It really does.


  • #3
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Online is a bloomin' mindfield. Honestly! You have to talk to him about it. If you have agreed that you are exclusive then he shouldn't have an online dating profile. Tell him you want to delete yours today and was really surprised that he had been online. He may have just had some messages and logged on to read them or else he may be on the look-out. If he was I doubt he'd be that blatant. I'd take it that there is an innocent enough explanation but you need to talk to him about it. And sooner rather than later or you might not convey it as well as you could.....just make sure to say it in person with no warning so you can guage his reaction.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for your responses - I totally agree that the internet dating thing is a minefield.. And I really hate this aspect of it..

    The thing is I did bring up the hiding our profiles initially - just said it to him that I wanted to hide mine etc. He said he'd do the same.. In the end though he didn't and it came up when we were having a bit of a discussion one night.. I said I was hurt he hadn't hidden his..

    Anyhow he did it within a day or two and to be honest it hasn't come up really at all since then.. I haven't broached the deleting the profile thing yet and didn't really intend too.. I mean we both still have our online profiles, they're just unused.. or at least mine was.

    anonoboy - I do see your point that he could have been checking up on me too.. but if he did then he would have seen I hadn't been on it.. And I don't think he would do that anyhow as he wouldn't be as techie as me so wouldn't be aware of most of the capabilities..

    Anyhow yes I am going to say it to him for defo.. And I'm going to frame it in the way you suggest Miss Fluff.. that's what I was thinking of doing anyhow.. I might just ask him first has he been oline lately.. and then just explain what I found.. and try to do so in as nonchalent fashion as possible.. The thing is I suppose we've both been avoiding the deleting it in total as we're still getting to know each other and don't want to put loads of pressure on..

    He definitely has his profile hidden so wouldn't have been receiving any messages so they only reason he would be going online is to check out other people or directly message people that way..

    This stuff really does cause so much hassle. Cos you can't help but think he is weighing up his options out there.. I mean I know you could argue that we all do that in subtle ways during the day and during our real-life interactions with people, but there is something a bit more contrived about going online like that..


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