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Gays and Children

  • 06-07-2010 1:33am
    #1
    deasyd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78 ✭✭


    So here is the deal. I’m a 25 years old gay lad. I’m single, kinda by choice, but also because other gay lads my age just like sleeping around so much.

    However, lately I have been thinking about my future a lot. I never had any mass on having children until my friends and family around me started having them and I started to play with them and watch them grow.

    Over time I have decided that I really want children in my future and my own family one day whether I have a partner or not. I think I would make an excellent dad. I know it will be tough, but I would love to have a kid by the time I am 35 at the latest. That gives me 10 years!

    I am curious to know how other gay lads in a couple or otherwise went about this:

    · How many children do they have?
    · What was the process like?
    · Did they adopt or get a surrogate etc?
    · Did it cost a lot?
    · Do you have to be in a relationship?

    I would love to hear all of your stories. If I get a good response here I might write a piece for the paper.


Comments

  • #2
    Aard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    deasyd wrote: »
    If I get a good response here I might write a piece for the paper.
    The paper? Are you a journalist?


    Anyway, same-sex couples in Ireland can't jointly adopt. Single gay people can adopt, but afaik it's usually in the case of adopting a deceased family-member's child(ren).


  • #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,158 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    You'll find a lot of information here

    here

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #4
    TylerIE
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,635 ✭✭✭TylerIE


    Also the boards.ie Adoption Forum

    ( http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=879 )

    I would read the old posts already up, and if anythings unanswered I'd post questions.

    There are a large number of people who read or glance through posts and dont post so if doing research for a newspaper it may be the place to get contact with now straight people who were adopted by a gay couple (albeit it legally a gay individual), as if they were tracing or seeking info the adopted child would probably use the adoption forum.... where as the parents would be here....

    Off the cuff I know two gay couples with children.
    One was two guys who recently split. The child was only a few months old when they started their relationship and was the biological son of one of them from a heterosexual unplanned pregnancy. The girl is amazing and performing well academically and socially.

    The father ensured that his mother (the girls grandmother) spends plenty of time with his daughter so as to provide a positive female influence, while his partner (who had been with the biological father since the baby was born) was considered the second parent (although referred to as "uncle")

    Unfortunately the couple recently split, and the partner is left with no access to the girl (as the split was not amicable), and legally he is of no relationship to her. They had investigated the boyfriend having legal guardianship while together but found no solution to ensure same.

    Perhaps Off topic but just one of the issues....


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