whos wrong

LegacyUser

hey.

an ex i haven't seen or spoke to in four years emailed and asked for some belongings back. I had some things at parents house so i sent up what i had. there was a few things that i couldnt find as we ended bad so i threw stuff out in anger so i replaced them for him. after 3 weeks i got another email asking for some money i got off them when we were together, i am wondering if you think he is in the wrong for asking me this as i spent abit of money on replacing stuff for him and when we were going out he didnt want it back off me.

Miss Fluff

After four years I find it proposterous that he would email you. He must be totally on the bread-line or else totally insane to go looking for possessions.

How much money are we talking about here?

Ickle Magoo

Unless the money owed was in quadruple figures then I'd tell him the debt has been repaid in storage charges...4 years? I wouldn't have the brass neck to assume an ex has kept my stuff let alone should pay me cash after 4 years!

carmel27

He makes this random contact with you after 4 yrs????? What did you have belonging to him? His mother?!
Id tell him to get lost. If he could manage without the money and stuff for that long, he'll cope.

Just wondering though, has he some other reason for contacing you, and is using the "money and stuff" as a cover?

LegacyUser

OP here.
They gave me just 200 pounds at the time. The stuff I had belonging to him were old pictures and books! The things I replaced were just cd's, a chain from argos and dvd's. I broke up with him because he was getting way too jealous and paranoid it was long distance aswell so it just kept getting worse. When we would see eachother he would just start arguements accusing me of cheating and looking through my mobile and rubbish like that, so in the end after three year relationship I broke up with him. I am now dating a really nice guy the past 3 and a half years have a lovely house and im genuinely happy.

Miss Fluff

OMG the cheek of him. Keep it short and sweet OP, tell him to fcuk off.

LittleBook

megangirl wrote: »

i am wondering if you think he is in the wrong for asking me this.

Yes I do. Regardless of the stuff or the amount of cash involved, I find this utterly creepy that he would contact you like this after 4 years and I would be highly suspicious of his motives.

washiskin

The cheeky git!!!! After 4 years?!!
Totall agree with the "the tell him to fcuk off" approach.
Sounds like he's trying to wheedle his way back in through a stupid ploy.
Tell him he's getting jack sh*t. :mad:

fakeaccent

Sounds like desperation on his part, don't pander to it and I wouldn't take any more of his calls...most people would have more self respect than to go begging from an ex!

LegacyUser

Tell him he owes you 200 quid for emotional damage, then tell him sod off!

Asphyxia

Hey OP, I posted here earlier today but my post got turned into a thread by one of the mods haha. Anyway my fella is in a similar situation to you. If your ex is as bad as you say he is then maybe giving him the money might stop him from having stuff to talk to you about. Otherwise if you aint paying him back I would suggest just changing you number/email that way he can't harrass you.

Aloysius Flyte

Megangirl wrote: »

OP here.
They gave me just 200 pounds at the time. The stuff I had belonging to him were old pictures and books! The things I replaced were just cd's, a chain from argos and dvd's. I broke up with him because he was getting way too jealous and paranoid it was long distance aswell so it just kept getting worse. When we would see eachother he would just start arguements accusing me of cheating and looking through my mobile and rubbish like that, so in the end after three year relationship I broke up with him. I am now dating a really nice guy the past 3 and a half years have a lovely house and im genuinely happy.

Its not about the money, he's trying to control you again. Just as he was before with his jealously and paranoia. In his warped mind this is a way of having having one over on you. Quite pathetic really.

I'd give him the money back, if you like, even give it with some interest and then, firmly ask him if there is anything else (so he can't come back to you again) and then you never have to respond to him again. After that, ignore his calls, ignore his e-mails (who knows we might see him post on PI in a while....)

There's no point in being nice and say 'I want to be friends', because lets face it you don't, why would you? Keep it courteous, almost professional and to the point. Whatever you do, don't encourage him by engaging in chit-chat.

You've moved on and its not your fault that he hasn't.

Chinafoot

While I do think its mad that he's reappeared after 4 years I would have to disagree with everyone else a little and say that if you owe someone money you should pay it back. I know you said you spent money replacing some of his belongings but thats because you threw them away. Ideally it should have been all sorted out soon after the break up but if you do genuinely owe him money then you should clear your debt.

He could be in dire straits money-wise and if he has had no contact prior to this I think it would be a massive leap to assume he has some sinister ulterior motive or is trying to mess with your life after all this time. I'd return the money and then ask him not to make contact again.

LegacyUser

If you owe him the money, pay it back.

He's wrong because he waited 4 years before asking for it back? No. You're wrong. You should have paid it back 4 years ago.

Choc Affair

after four years???

....tell him where to go!!!!!!!:mad: