No Hablo Ingles

Motley Crue

With the world more multi cultural, have you ever used the excuse of a lack of basic English as a way of getting out of a situation....would you ever consider pretending to be an Immigrant who doesn't know basic English to avoid a person campaigning for Concern or tell a Shopkeeper you weren't really stealing that Whispa

Flojo

I do it when I'm drunk to avoid unwanted attention of men.. that and the I'm a lesbian excuse usually works. :pac:

hidinginthebush

Flojo wrote: »

I do it when I'm drunk to avoid unwanted attention of men.. that and the I'm a lesbian excuse usually works. :pac:

Pffft.... saying "I'm a lesbian" will never, ever make a man loose interest in you

mikemac

Saw a student try this on the Luas when stopped for a ticket.
Probably saw law student who would do the same if stopped by a garda

Started mouthing off as gaelige.
Inspector smiled, said "Ceart go leor" and proceeded to write a ticket and ask for name and address as gaelige freisin

Busted!
It doesn't work and it's not something people should ever try anyway.

Flojo

hidinginthebush wrote: »

Pffft.... saying "I'm a lesbian" will never, ever make a man loose interest in you

Works for me for some reason... although I usually grab my nearest friend and proceed to walk away!

HalloweenJack

When I lived in Spain, I'd tell people I came from the Gaeltacht and couldn't speak much English. I was there to improve my Spanish and I was sick of Spanish people always switching to English when I told them I was Irish.

One girl couldn't believe that someone in Ireland couldn't speak English and demanded that I prove I'm Irish. I flashed my passport and she changed her tune immediately.

artanevilla

Oo iz dis, der iz no Crilly ere.

Gunsfortoys

Flojo wrote: »

Works for me for some reason... although I usually grab my nearest friend and proceed to walk away!

Looking like one helps also.:)

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Flojo wrote: »

I do it when I'm drunk to avoid unwanted attention of men.. that and the I'm a lesbian excuse usually works. :pac:

i love you!!!

caseyann

Motley Crue wrote: »

With the world more multi cultural, have you ever used the excuse of a lack of basic English as a way of getting out of a situation....would you ever consider pretending to be an Immigrant who doesn't know basic English to avoid a person campaigning for Concern or tell a Shopkeeper you weren't really stealing that Whispa

I have done it when someone approached me in a pub,i just said me no speak English

Celly Smunt

Flojo wrote: »

I do it when I'm drunk to avoid unwanted attention of men.. that and the I'm a lesbian excuse usually works. :pac:

but you're not drunk now are ya...



got ya :cool:

caseyann

Flojo wrote: »

I do it when I'm drunk to avoid unwanted attention of men.. that and the I'm a lesbian excuse usually works. :pac:

How the hell does that work :eek::D

DazMarz

When the do-gooding twats from Concern or whoever come up to me "Hi have you got a minute?", I deflect them with either:

"Pardoname, no hablo Inglés"

or

"Je suis desoleé, je ne pas parle Anglais"

and an apologetic shrug.

This backfired incredibly badly one time, when the cúnt replied with.

"Superb, monsieur! Je parle le perfect Francais! Je m'apelle..." and so on...


:o:eek:

Flojo

Gunsfortoys wrote: »

Looking like one helps also.

Hmm I wouldn't count myself as looking like the butch type.. I do consider myself a tomboy though.. maybe they can smell it off me?

benwavner wrote: »

i love you!!!

Easy tiger... we only just met!

Gunsfortoys

Flojo wrote: »

Hmm I wouldn't count myself as looking like the butch type.. I do consider myself a tomboy though.. maybe they can smell it off me?

Sure how do you get all that unwanted attention if you smell?:D

Flojo

pmcmahon wrote: »

but you're not drunk now are ya...



got ya

Hmm touche.. wanna help me out with my little dilemma so? Pint of Bud please :P

caseyann wrote: »

How the hell does that work

Very simple.. just state "Sorry love I'm batting for the other team" while slowly backing away and praying to god your mate is close by.. the proceed to grab her hand and pull her off into the other direction! Works a treat.
Thats only if i'm feeling rather shy.. usually I just say "not interested mate" that normally happens after pint number 4. :pac:

Flojo

Gunsfortoys wrote: »

Sure how do you get all that unwanted attention if you smell?:D

Lol I'm not saying I always get unwanted attention.. jesus wouldn't consider myself to be gorgeous by any means.. just when it does thats usually my escape plan.

I dunno.. I don't think I smell, was just a suggestion really.

Yeah, I pretend to be Spanish but last time the guy just started talking back in Spanish, and I was like, oh sh*te. Had a 10 minute conversation in Spanish pretending to be Sofia from Madrid who was over visiting a friend doing Erasmus in Trinity.

Gunsfortoys

Flojo wrote: »

Lol I'm not saying I always get unwanted attention.. jesus wouldn't consider myself to be gorgeous by any means.. just when it does thats usually my escape plan.

I dunno.. I don't think I smell, was just a suggestion really.

I kid because I love. Usually a kick in the balls deters better though.;)

opinion guy

feelingstressed wrote: »

Saw a student try this on the Luas when stopped for a ticket.
Probably saw law student who would do the same if stopped by a garda

Started mouthing off as gaelige.
Inspector smiled, said "Ceart go leor" and proceeded to write a ticket and ask for name and address as gaelige freisin

Busted!
It doesn't work and it's not something people should ever try anyway.

In fairness what a numpty. Isn't Irish one of the qualifications you need to apply to the guards ?

HalloweenJack wrote: »

When I lived in Spain, I'd tell people I came from the Gaeltacht and couldn't speak much English. I was there to improve my Spanish and I was sick of Spanish people always switching to English when I told them I was Irish.

One girl couldn't believe that someone in Ireland couldn't speak Irish and demanded that I prove I'm Irish. I flashed my passport and she changed her tune immediately.

?? That seems contradictory. I trust you are still working on your English/Irish (delete as appropriate)

Flojo

Gunsfortoys wrote: »

I kid because I love. Usually a kick in the balls deters better though.;)

I wish.. you never know these days, one kick and you're up for assault! No fun!

Gunsfortoys

Flojo wrote: »

I wish.. you never know these days, one kick and you're up for assault! No fun!

You will never see a bloke reporting a woman for kicking him in the balls, the lad would never live it down. That is the beauty of it.:D

Celly Smunt

Gunsfortoys wrote: »

You will never see a bloke reporting a woman for kicking him in the balls, the lad would never live it down. That is the beauty of it.:D

if only it was the same for rape

HalloweenJack

opinion guy wrote: »

?? That seems contradictory. I trust you are still working on your English/Irish (delete as appropriate)

Ah thanks, your correction helps.

johngalway

Works for me every time the TV license inspector calls :cool:

Superbus

I once tried to order McDonalds in Latin.

It didn't end well.

'vale, burgerus caesus volo.'

tolosenc

Did Erasmus in France. Basically, despite having been there for 9 months and speaking fluent French, "language difficulties" were exploited to the fullest...

Carl Sagan

feelingstressed wrote: »

Saw a student try this on the Luas when stopped for a ticket.
Probably saw law student who would do the same if stopped by a garda

Started mouthing off as gaelige.
Inspector smiled, said "Ceart go leor" and proceeded to write a ticket and ask for name and address as gaelige freisin

Busted!
It doesn't work and it's not something people should ever try anyway.

He then proceeded to give false details.

If he was smart.

dango

Superbus wrote: »

'vale, burgerus caseus volo.'

No wonder they didn't understand you! :pac:

Dionysus

Motley Crue wrote: »

With the world more multi cultural, have you ever used the excuse of a lack of basic English as a way of getting out of a situation....would you ever consider pretending to be an Immigrant who doesn't know basic English to avoid a person campaigning for Concern or tell a Shopkeeper you weren't really stealing that Whispa

Been doing pretty much this for the past month while walking the Camino de Santiago. To be more precise I greeted everybody in Spanish regardless of whether they were English speakers or not. Came across around 20 D4, like, students, like at a water fountain when I came down from the mountains in Galicia last week and did the same. They were the first Irish people I'd seen in about a week. Wanted to keep it that way; it was a holiday after all. For me, it's much more rewarding avoiding the familiar and making a point of immersing yourself in something different and fresh.

xsiborg

did something like this once when approached by a girl who i'd already seen handing out christian literature, i tried to walk that bit faster passing by her but she managed to thrust a leaflet into my chest:

"can i interest you in..."

"no thanks, im moslem"

she laughed at least...

milehip1

xsiborg wrote: »

did something like this once when approached by a girl who i'd already seen handing out christian literature, i tried to walk that bit faster passing by her but she managed to thrust a leaflet into my chest:

"can i interest you in..."

"no thanks, im moslem"

she laughed at least...

you should swap muslim for satainist next time,bet they wouldn't take that as well!!

I usually mutter 'no speak english(korva)'
said it 5 times to some auld busybody wannabe traffic warden
christ she was persistent:D

Motley Crue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7jZ0L8E9RE

Bastards! Bowling For Soup stole my damn idea!

Agricola

I do this all the time in foreign cities where theres always hawkers and other assorted pains in the ass, trying to sell shít to tourists. They always assume you speak English, and so come up to you with "Hello, you speak English yes, look at these real rolex watches, good price for you today sir.........."

I just bladder out some gobbledegook mixed with Irish and they leave me alone immediately and go pounce on the next pasty faced foreigner!

Canis Lupus

feelingstressed wrote: »

Saw a student try this on the Luas when stopped for a ticket.
Probably saw law student who would do the same if stopped by a garda

Started mouthing off as gaelige.
Inspector smiled, said "Ceart go leor" and proceeded to write a ticket and ask for name and address as gaelige freisin

Busted!
It doesn't work and it's not something people should ever try anyway.

So the student IN IRELAND decides to talk IRISH..... Genius!

caseyann

Flojo wrote: »

Hmm touche.. wanna help me out with my little dilemma so? Pint of Bud please :P




Very simple.. just state "Sorry love I'm batting for the other team" while slowly backing away and praying to god your mate is close by.. the proceed to grab her hand and pull her off into the other direction! Works a treat.
Thats only if i'm feeling rather shy.. usually I just say "not interested mate" that normally happens after pint number 4. :pac:

I would have thought that would make them follow even more

Flojo

caseyann wrote: »

I would have thought that would make them follow even more

Funnily enough they don't follow! Don't think most of them would have the guts to be honest lol.