Is This fair, am I in the wrong

Weetbix

:DOkay This is how is basicly starte:
Durning the times of the leaving cert i got choosen to be an attendences working still the 23rd i was very happy about this because i wouldn't have to be at home. Then one weekend like every weekend am not allowed out i have to look after my brothers and sister while my mom and dad work, my mom came home early on this weekend after my dad left for a sleep over and i was cooking like every weekend as any normal person or teenage would be i was pissed that am never allowed to go out and experience a little bit of the world. (Am a 16 year old that have NEVER EVER went to the city). My mom walked in and saw me cooking slowly she said "why sre you cooking so slowly can't you see am hungry" i said "Sorry" and then the reguar insults came "You're so useless so stupid, Your nothing but a failour of a person, so lazy and useless what do you do in this house nothing, ur a foolish girl" Now i wasn't having a good day already so shout back saying "i do more then my little sisters and brothers when i was at there age" i kept saying that to her and automatically she hit me with a strong stick from the cupborad and told me to leave the house (Not the first time this is happening). I try to go back but then in the middle of the road she started to insult me again a kicked me out still 11.00 in the night when i got back in she said nothing.
She countine to insult me and make my life a living hell for 4 days none stop letting me am useless i said as little as possible, she said i was disreapecting her and i was out of control in my whole life i had lived with this woman the only things i have done is :

At 8 years of age i ran away from home i was sick of her insulting me and me changing pampers for 2 people. They found me 30mins into looking but i was thearted that i would be sent back to nigeria.




Sorry for the spellings and stuff but am in a hurry

At 13 1st year in school i got a no home notes and i put a signature myslef
i got in big trouble for that still now she wouldn't let it go.
Now that i got my result i did very badly on it, i got very cocky saying a don't need to study for long but i guess i was wrong so i got:
English:F dON'T KNOW HOW I WORKED HARD ON THAT
Irish:F
Chemistry:f
Biology: D 1
hISTORY: D 3
Maths: D 1
Spainsh: D 1
I was so angry at myslef my dad saw it he was pissed for like a week and said i should do better in 6th year. but my mom said all sorts of things to me said my life is over, i can't repair it now i never be a doctor or even make it close to working in health care
She says things like ur ugly fat worthless a waste of space not worth the time or money.No body should ever show me any love am ruined and so is my life my brothers and sister will be better off then me.
Somef the stuff she says to me makes me feel very very depressed i hated being at home before now i wanna kill myslef.

Am i in the wrong should i just take it because am a bad person i should i studied hard what shuld i do

Victor

There is no such thing as a "bad person". People do say it and sometimes we believe them, but we all need to separate people from actions. Example, Bob is a street cleaner, he drinks too much and gets in fights. Is Bob a bad street cleaner? No, he's excellent at cleaning streets, but he does bad things when he drinks.

Similarly, you are a person. You are not a bad person. While you may not be doing well academically, you help out around the house - surely thats a good thing? You worked as an attendant - thats another a good thing?

Can I suggest you talk to your school guidance counsellor to see if you can get extra help. You can also talk to http://teenline.ie/ or similar?

Prove your mother wrong.

Taltos

With Victor on this.
Just because you did not get the grades you hoped for does not make you a bad person. Exams are not like real life and many of us find it hard to squeeze 5 or 6yrs of schooling into an unreal short exam.
Memory blocks, panic, tiredness, too much information too little time - it all contributes to poor scores.

You can repeat if you want - but you don't have to let the exams define the rest of your life. I think I remember from somewhere that Richard Branson did poorly in school, as did many others.

It seems that you are helping an awful lot at home, and for whatever reason your mum is not thanking you enough for that. Instead of focusing on the bad she should be trying to focus on the positive. You should try to do the same.

Talk to someone and get some advice on what is open to you - it could be repeating your exams, choosing a different career, even getting advice on moving out of home or getting yourself declared an emancipated minor if you are less than 18 and are living in a home where you fear for your safety and long term well-being... Which I am guessing you might be from your post.

No-one ever deserves to be hit - that is common assault.
You are well within your rights as a person to request that person to respect you - or failing that to report them to the gardai - however... before going that route think long and hard about the potential consequences
> your mum could kick you out of the home
> social welfare could get involved
> your siblings could be removed from the family home and placed in care

I am not trying to put you off reporting an assault - just if you are going to go that route be prepared for all that could happen. Personally I think that if someone is assaulted - whatever the circumstances then the only thing to do is to ask for help...

Just remember your life is NOT ruined. It just seems that your mum is making herself feel better at your expense - though we do not have the full facts here - just your snippet - so I could have jumped too far with that guess. Be safe - and take the time to figure out what you want, get the advice and go for it... Either with the support of your parents or alone...

Weetbix

I think you got it all
wrong on my grades i usually do very very well in school, thats my only good thing going for me it was just this exam that messed me up.

kjl

Weetbix wrote: »

:DOkay This is how is basicly starte:
Durning the times of the leaving cert i got choosen to be an attendences working still the 23rd i was very happy about this because i wouldn't have to be at home. Then one weekend like every weekend am not allowed out i have to look after my brothers and sister while my mom and dad work, my mom came home early on this weekend after my dad left for a sleep over and i was cooking like every weekend as any normal person or teenage would be i was pissed that am never allowed to go out and experience a little bit of the world. (Am a 16 year old that have NEVER EVER went to the city). My mom walked in and saw me cooking slowly she said "why sre you cooking so slowly can't you see am hungry" i said "Sorry" and then the reguar insults came "You're so useless so stupid, Your nothing but a failour of a person, so lazy and useless what do you do in this house nothing, ur a foolish girl" Now i wasn't having a good day already so shout back saying "i do more then my little sisters and brothers when i was at there age" i kept saying that to her and automatically she hit me with a strong stick from the cupborad and told me to leave the house (Not the first time this is happening). I try to go back but then in the middle of the road she started to insult me again a kicked me out still 11.00 in the night when i got back in she said nothing.
She countine to insult me and make my life a living hell for 4 days none stop letting me am useless i said as little as possible, she said i was disreapecting her and i was out of control in my whole life i had lived with this woman the only things i have done is :

At 8 years of age i ran away from home i was sick of her insulting me and me changing pampers for 2 people. They found me 30mins into looking but i was thearted that i would be sent back to nigeria.




Sorry for the spellings and stuff but am in a hurry

At 13 1st year in school i got a no home notes and i put a signature myslef
i got in big trouble for that still now she wouldn't let it go.
Now that i got my result i did very badly on it, i got very cocky saying a don't need to study for long but i guess i was wrong so i got:
English:F dON'T KNOW HOW I WORKED HARD ON THAT
Irish:F
Chemistry:f
Biology: D 1
hISTORY: D 3
Maths: D 1
Spainsh: D 1
I was so angry at myslef my dad saw it he was pissed for like a week and said i should do better in 6th year. but my mom said all sorts of things to me said my life is over, i can't repair it now i never be a doctor or even make it close to working in health care
She says things like ur ugly fat worthless a waste of space not worth the time or money.No body should ever show me any love am ruined and so is my life my brothers and sister will be better off then me.
Somef the stuff she says to me makes me feel very very depressed i hated being at home before now i wanna kill myslef.

Am i in the wrong should i just take it because am a bad person i should i studied hard what shuld i do

OK, I'm going to assume you are in 5th year, and that these results are based on your end of year exams right?

Well I wouldn't put too much heed on those exams. I failed like 7 out of 8 subject in 5th year, but I pulled up my sock and worked really hard in 6th year and ended up getting 520. So don't be down and out just yet.

I know we look up to our parents a lot, but you have to remember they are just as stupid as everyone else. When your mum says those things to you, you should just ignore it. Clearly she has her own issues, because you don't say those kind of things to your child. When I was younger I used to think that there such things as grown ups, but when you get older you realise everyone is just faking it, 95% of people are idiots, and I'm sure your mother is included in that figure.

Now, to be honest the thing that stood out most to me about your post was the dreadful spelling and grammar. At parts it was very hard to follow your train of thought. I think this might explain your poor English result. I would spend the summer trying to better yourself in your written word so that when you go to hit the books next year you are not at a disadvantage.

Weetbix

kjl wrote: »

OK, I'm going to assume you are in 5th year, and that these results are based on your end of year exams right?

Well I wouldn't put too much heed on those exams. I failed like 7 out of 8 subject in 5th year, but I pulled up my sock and worked really hard in 6th year and ended up getting 520. So don't be down and out just yet.

I know we look up to our parents a lot, but you have to remember they are just as stupid as everyone else. When your mum says those things to you, you should just ignore it. Clearly she has her own issues, because you don't say those kind of things to your child. When I was younger I used to think that there such things as grown ups, but when you get older you realise everyone is just faking it, 95% of people are idiots, and I'm sure your mother is included in that figure.

Now, to be honest the thing that stood out most to me about your post was the dreadful spelling and grammar. At parts it was very hard to follow your train of thought. I think this might explain your poor English result. I would spend the summer trying to better yourself in your written word so that when you go to hit the books next year you are not at a disadvantage.

Lol most likely -_-

Moonbeam

Are your whole family from Nigeria or just you?
You do not deserve to be treated like that at all,have you a teacher or a school counciller that you can speak to?