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When wine becomes a problem...

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  • 05-07-2010 10:57am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Like the title says, I'm drinking too much.

    I'm drinking wine most evenings. Sometimes, I might get through a bottle. Other times, it'll just be the glass.
    I never even liked wine until about a year ago. Was never really a big drinker. Things are very difficult for me at the moment - I've bills to pay everywhere and like everyone else, my salary has been reduced. But rather than deal with it, I'm opening a bottle at 7pm....and thinking 'It'll all be grand....I'll sort that out tomorrow...'. But tomorrow comes, and I open another bottle....

    I know it's a slippery slope...I'm 38 and female btw...
    I'm not quite at the point where I would go to an AA meeting (not sure how that works anyway...)but am wondering if anyone else is in a similar rut and wondering how the flip I get out of it......

    I've casually mentioned this to friends, but it seems like drinking wine at home alone in the evenings is almost accepted. If I said I was drinking 6 cans every night or reaching for the vodka, they would take this more seriously...but because it's wine, it's almost seen as 'decadent'....if that makes any sense. They just laugh it off saying ...'sure I always have a glass myself...'
    I have also mentioned to my sister saying 'I think I've a drink problem'. She laughed at me saying 'Sure everyone drinks wine in the evenings now!!!'
    So where do I go from here....?


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    #2
    Hersheys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,308 ✭✭✭Hersheys


    Firstly, congrats on looking for help for your problem. It's never easy.

    Secondly - do you live alone?

    I've got personal experience with a situation similar to yours - not me, but a family member drinking every evening to escape reality, and I found that when we gave her stuff to do, the drinking decreased and now only happens 2/3 nights a week. Basically, do you have any hobbies, or are you interested in taking anything new up? Just to get you out of the house, something to do, take your mind off it...

    Maybe try talk to your doctor and make sure that it's not effecting your health.

    Put the €6/7 from each bottle you don't buy and treat yourself to something nice. It'll all add up.

    Finally, maybe try talk to someone about the issues underlying your drinking - talk to your bank about getting help budgetting? Might make those bills easier.


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    #3
    mikemac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,986 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    Do you live alone?

    If you are coming home, tired, pissed off and stressed from work then reaching for wine is what a lot of people do.

    I've done it myself and it certainly wasn't just one glass a night, was two bottles some nights.
    Visited a GP and it wasn't ground breaking advice but simple things work best.

    You can't be coming from work and into your house or flat alone and watch TV while your upset from work or under pressure from bills. And saving your wine money will certainly pay a few bills.

    If you don't have a hobby then go running in the evening.
    I know so many threads on boards give the solution of join a club or take up a hobby but it will work here.

    I don't think you need to go to the AA but no harm in going to a meeting just to see.


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    #4
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,349 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    A few options.

    Do the AA test. http://www.step12.com/alcoholic-20-questions.html

    Only drink every second day, taking the weekend off completly and drink no more than you would normally drink of an evening. So, you can drink Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If you miss a day's drinking, you can't make it up.


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi. Im in a similar situation too and its playing on my mind alot recently. Im 27 and most of the lads have settled down or are settling down except for me.Its v v easy to hit the bottle after work,especially if you live alone (nobody nagging you or telling you off if youve drank too much). But, its very easy to build up an actual craving for alcohol quite quickly so at least make some attempt to stop this happening while you still can.

    Do literally anything to keep yourself busy in the evenings (go to a mates house,exercise,volunteer). I too thought about AA as like feelingstressed i could get through 2 bottles of wine or loads of cans on a weeknight and try and disguise the hangover in work. Ive cut down majorly but the cravings are still there. I think i have it under better control now but the worry is still there that its still "too much".


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP

    good for you for seeing the problem before it escallated to something bigger than you could handle. You need to break the cycle of going home stressed/worried, sooner than breaking the cycle of opening a bottle of wine in the evening. It is the '..being at home by yourself, stressed..' that is the trigger to the drinking behaviour. Like the other posters said, take up a hobby.. I know we are all watching our pennies these days, but 2 less bottles of wine a week would pay for a gym membership / fitness classes... burn off your stress, meet people, keep yourself busy in the evenings... you will always feel more positive after some exercise and less likely to indulge in a glass of wine afterward also. You have to live though, so enjoy your social drinks at the weekend and have friends over so you are drinking in the company of others... You just need to find the balance again....


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Should have said sorry, I've an eleven year old and am a single mum with a moron of an ex who has a tendency to make me reach for the bottle too!

    I'm very, very conscious, about things that could happen to my child while I'm under the influence...this fills me with dread. It's going to sound silly, but after my first sip, even tho my initial thought is 'now to relax...' my second thought is 'what if I need to dash to temple st....'. Please, no lectures on that one.

    It takes me 4/5 hours to get thru the bottle....and I only ever have the one bottle....so I never get to the point of being drunk (I drink water and coffee too...)...but it's like I have this mental thing that if the wine's not there on my way home from work, I'll never get thru the boredom of my evening....


    I swear I wish it was vodka because at least that way someone would take this problem seriously and not just say 'Ah sure we're all on the wine...'


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    #8
    How Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    unregistered wrote: »
    Like the title says, I'm drinking too much.

    I'm drinking wine most evenings. Sometimes, I might get through a bottle. I'm opening a bottle at 7pm....and thinking 'It'll all be grand....I'll sort that out tomorrow...'. But tomorrow comes, and I open another bottle....
    I'm 38 and female btw...
    I'm not quite at the point where I would go to an AA meeting
    OP, if you feel you're drinking too much and the wine drinking is getting out of control then it probably is.

    I'd say just cut it out completely and make a rule not to drink wine or any alcohol at home unless you're entertaining.

    Myself and my OH did this a few years back as we found we were drinking a bottle of wine every Fri and Sat night. One bottle turned into two and then into three over time. It got to the stage that I hated the taste of it because we were drinking just for the sake of it. Then we made a rule to cut it out and never drink at home in front of tv. It was hard at first but you get used to it pretty quickly and now I couldn't bear the thoughts of drinking like that at home.

    I've casually mentioned this to friends, but it seems like drinking wine at home alone in the evenings is almost accepted. If I said I was drinking 6 cans every night or reaching for the vodka, they would take this more seriously...but because it's wine, it's almost seen as 'decadent'....if that makes any sense. They just laugh it off saying ...'sure I always have a glass myself...'
    I have also mentioned to my sister saying 'I think I've a drink problem'. She laughed at me saying 'Sure everyone drinks wine in the evenings now!!!'
    So where do I go from here....?
    IMO, we're a nation with a collective drink problem so asking an Irish person if you have a drink problem is futile; you'll always be told 'you're grand'.

    I've heard and read pieces about the new emerging trend of alcoholism in Ireland and it's women (late 30's +) drinking wine at home in the evenings. Most of these women may never have drank much all their lives but wine is definitely seen as socially acceptable. I agree if you were milling into a bottle of cheap vodka every night people would be giving you funny looks.

    The last thing you want is to create a drink dependency issue for yourself so cut out the wine while you still can. You'll be suprised at how hard you find it for a few weeks but they say it takes 3 weeks to break and make a habit so stick with it. Get out doors in the evenings and go for a walk if that's what you need to get out of the rut of opening the bottle at 7pm.

    Fair play to you for facing up to something most of us would be uncomfortable admitting to.


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