Made a mistake, feel awful

LegacyUser

So basically me and my boyfriend have been going out 3 years, and last night after a long drunken night at a friends house I kissed and fooled around with another fella. We did not have sex or do anything in that domain.

I feel so bad, I know this is a cliche - I was drunk, I shouldn't have drank so much, I should have had more cop on but I didn't. I don't know where it came out of, because I love my boyfriend and he is my world...should I tell him and really upset him?

I don't know what to do, and I don't know why I did it.

Can anyone offer any help, please?

jurgenscarl

Don't ever put yourself in that position ever again, control your drinking or else give up drink completely.

If you love your boyfriend never put yourself in the position where someone can take advantage of you like that. The other fella had to have known you were attached so it's his fault as much as yours.

You should put this behind you and make sure your boyfriend never finds out.

But of course only if you and the other fella are the only people who know about it.

If other people know it's going be next to impossible to keep it quiet and in the scenario before the story gets back to your boyfriend you will have to tell him the whole story from your point of view or that's curtains.

WaltKowalski

Don't tell him.
If you're genuinely full of remorse over it then don't make him feel like crap just to ease your guilt.

LegacyUser

jurgenscarl wrote: »

.The other fella had to have known you were attached so it's his fault as much as yours.

The fella is a mutual friend..which makes it worse i suppose

omahaid

Ifeelsobad wrote: »

The fella is a mutual friend..which makes it worse i suppose

In that case I would consider telling your BF. If your mutual friend spills the beans first then it will be a lost worse...

greengiant09

you better tell him in that case. lads aren't very good at being discreet about these matters. chances are the guy you scored has told people already (even if he says he hasn't) or someone may have seen u score him so it's probably only a matter of time before your boyfriend finds out. it would certainly look a lot better if you admitted to him what happened....i know i would appreciate that honesty.....instead of finding out down the line from a friend what happened.....which would certainly end in you being dumped.(and rightfully so)

shebango

Ifeelsobad wrote: »

So basically me and my boyfriend have been going out 3 years, and last night after a long drunken night at a friends house I kissed and fooled around with another fella. We did not have sex or do anything in that domain.

I feel so bad, I know this is a cliche - I was drunk, I shouldn't have drank so much, I should have had more cop on but I didn't. I don't know where it came out of, because I love my boyfriend and he is my world...should I tell him and really upset him?

I don't know what to do, and I don't know why I did it.

Can anyone offer any help, please?

Tell him. He deserves to know and make his own decision on whether to stay with you or not.

It really irritates me when people say not to tell because by telling you're only 'alleviating your guilt'.

By not telling him, you're making a bigger fool of him, especially if other people in the social circle know. Imagine how he'd feel if he found out everyone knew and he didn't?

Look - you made a mistake. But mistakes have consequences, i'm afraid. Tell him.

Wagon

Ifeelsobad wrote: »

I feel so bad, I know this is a cliche - I was drunk, I shouldn't have drank so much, I should have had more cop on but I didn't. I don't know where it came out of, because I love my boyfriend and he is my world...should I tell him and really upset him?

Yep. It's his decision. Be prepared for the worst, if it was his mate it's pretty much done.

Anyway, you might not love him as much as you think. I think when someone cheats, they are going off their significant other. The booze just gives them confidence to go ahead but the intentions are there initially.

jurgenscarl

The fella is a mutual friend..which makes it worse i suppose

Then you have to tell your boyfriend. You have to clear the air. Simple as that.

Firetrap

You fooled around with this bloke in your friend's house so would it be safe to say that others who were there will know what happened? Could be a case of your having to tell your boyfriend before someone else does.

LegacyUser

Yeah so I told him, I felt awful about the whole thing and just couldn't face lying to him it wasn't fair. He broke up with me. I'm heartbroken, but I deserved it and at the end of the day atleast I was honest.