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Can't figure this out

  • 04-07-2010 4:16pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, hoping some of you can give me some insight on this.

    Really love some guys opinions.

    So, I'm a girl, early 20's. Single and happy that way, having fun seeing who I like when I like!
    Met a really good loooking guy about a year ago, when I went back home. We seemed to hit it off and we both seemed to have amazing chemistry. Anyway, we kept in touch and he suggested we do a sort of friends with benefits thing whenever I head back home or whenever he was round where I live now. This sounded good for me too,as not in the frame of mind for a relationship right now, due to work, study, etc. I really fancied him!

    This went on and on, him always initiating contact, text, calls, ect. We never met up after this first meeting. Even tough at this point in time I am not sure if it's what I want. I always answer him back, just to chat really.

    What I want to figure out is: How long will a guy persue a girl he wishes to have a friends with benefits arrangement with? Hardly for a year without getting anything in return!

    Also, he seems very interested in if I have met anyone and if I say I met someone nice he seems to react rather disappointed or almost jealously. Surely this is not the reaction of a guy who wants no emotional involvement?

    Guys what's he doing here, he contacts me almost every other day for the past year? He's beautiful and I would imagine he has no trouble pulling girls, so why still chase me.

    Help!!!


Comments

  • #2
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    It does seem unusual that he'd keep contacting you if all he was looking for was a casual arrangement, but surely the question is really what you think you want from this guy?

    Whatever his reasons, there has to be some attraction from him, otherwise he'd never have suggested the f/b arrangement, so if you also feel some attraction to him why not say it to him?

    If he's jealous when you talk about other guys that seems to indicate attraction all right.


  • #3
    seenitall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,724 ✭✭✭seenitall


    Be careful, OP.

    This guy set out his terms to you very early on, meaning he is not looking for a relationship. He obviously finds you attractive enough for a FB, but NOTHING MORE. Don't be getting your hopes up, is what I am saying. He has as yet given you no reason to think that his original intentions have changed in any way.

    He contacts you almost every other day? For all you know, he may be doing this with several other "ego-boost" girls on the alternative days. He wouldn't be the only guy with that particular hobby, either.

    He gets jealous when he hears of other guys from you? 'Course he does. Never confuse a guy's territorial possessivness with any form of caring about you - it could get you hurt.

    Sorry OP, it just seems to me from the tone of your post that you are starting to get attached to this guy, while to me (and I may be wrong, but I don't think I am), he sounds like a classic head-wrecker.

    If a person really wants you, they will find a way to be with you - be it a guy or a girl. This contacting every other day to keep the juices flowing while never going anywhere is BS. He knows what he's doing alright.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks guys for your input.

    Sorry couldn't reply til now!

    Seenitall... I tend to agree fully with your post.
    I would usually tell guys like this to get lost. Been in this situation with others and if I wasn't interested I'd tell them where to go and if I fancied them madly I'd have a quick fling. Funny enough I'm always the one to be emotionally detatched and always the one who walks away. My friends tell me I'm very male minded! I just got bored most of the time!
    One thing I know for sure, is if I wasn't meeting any of them they would NOT be persuing me over one year later. I've asked some of my male friends would they chase a girl for this long without getting anything back, and they ALL said no way, not unless they really, really liked the girl genuinely.

    Yes, I am attracted to this guy, but I think it's purely physical. I sure don't worry or get jealous when he tells me he see's other girls ( which he has told me ). His reaction to me seeing other guys is very different. Surely this, one year on is, more than a male territory trait?

    I guess, at the end of the day I'm confused as to what to do next. I'd quite like to see him ( for the purely physical ), but tend to keep putting it off incase he thinks he has some hold over me. I think he may already think he has actually!

    Guys, how long would you chase a girl for? Love to hear a mans views. I'm just curious!


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