Ignored on Gaydar

wealthyman

I recently put up a profile on gaydar but I didn't put up any pictures as I am not out as gay. I seen a guy I liked and sent him a message, he messaged me back and asked to see a picture so I sent him a link to pictures of me. This was on Thursday and he logged into his profile today and he would of seen the message and he viewed my pic because the site tells me the amount of views per pic and he is the only one I have showed the URL too. Anyway I have heard nothing from him since, I don't understand I am a goodlooking lad, even better looking than him. This has shattered my confidence, was he just not that into me?

Recon

There's a lot of possible reasons why he hasn't messaged you back, the ones you mentioned could be some of those.

I'd think online dating sites would be somewhat similar to daft.ie...and by that I mean most people won't bother with the ads that don't include pictures. If you'll just send a link to someone who asked for a picture why not just include a picture of yourself in your ad?

If someone you know in real life does see it and makes fun you could just deny it (claim you didn't put the ad up) or just ask what the big deal is (I think I'd choose this one). Also by including a picture from the beginning you'd avoid this current situation in the future.

Ickle Magoo

Perhaps he's not comfortable with all the cloak and dagger stuff? Remember he may be wondering if you are serious or are trying to make fun of him or trolling or whatever. If you are being deliberately secretive or a bit squeamish about being on gaydar, followed by pics that look too good to be true then he may well be put off by that and run a mile.

kjl

Its true, one of my friends is a model and she put up model pics on a dating site and hardly got any replies.

If you are as good looking as you say he might be intimidated or simply doesnt belive you.

Canluum

Jesus man don't obsess on it, chill out, this will happen to everybody. Gaydar is almost literally a shallow meat market, but it serves it's purposes. That guy might have only liked abc and you're xyz. Try being a straight man and messaging people on an internet dating site. Takes a lot more work and you're still ignored the vast majority of the time. Some women just go on for the ego boost and have no intention of meeting anybody. At least you generally don't have that problem.

Message more people, way more. Don't expect anymore than 10% to actually meet up with you, then if more than 10% do you can pat yourself on the back and think yourself hot ****.

iguana

wealthyman wrote: »

I recently put up a profile on gaydar but I didn't put up any pictures as I am not out as gay.

Perhaps he's just not interested in meeting someone who is not out. I think if I was gay it would be a minefield I'd steer right away from. It may have absolutely nothing to do with your looks.

tenchi-fan

Maybe you're not his type?
What does it matter what a stranger thinks anyway?

LegacyUser

Mate, It could simply be you aren't his type!

This by no means says you aren't attractive or goodlooking!

I'm straight and a huge fan of small brunettes. Whilst I can appreciate tall blondes for example, I in general(non-alcahol fueled) would never go for one!

I'd take the small brunette over a better looking blonde.

Relax!

Or another point that has been raised is, what if he doesn't want to get involved with a guy he cant walk out and open with? He might not be into the secrecy thing! Many people would run a mile from that if they weren't already attached to you etc..

I once had a girl who wanted to keep our relationship secret. I thought I was cool with this... After a while I resented it!

rainbow kirby

Don't let it get to you - you probably just weren't his type. I'd also agree with iguana here about the fact that he may not want somebody who isn't out, dating somebody who is still closeted can be very frustrating.

There are plenty of guys out there, and plenty more places to find them. Can't find what you want on Gaydar? Try somewhere else, hell get a few drinks into you and head down to the G at the weekend.

dudara

Some people don't reply to messages instantaneously. God knows, I leave things sitting in my inbox for ages. I keep meaning to get around to replying but it could take me ages.

You're putting yourself out there on an internet site - you have to be a little tougher than this. By using the anonymity of the website, you will also find that people can be a little crueler than they would be in real life. You might need to learn how to handle rejection and develop skin that's a little tougher.

Also, thinking that you are *hotter* than people is not a very attractive characteristic, irrespective of sex.

pookie82

Maybe he has realised he knows you from somewhere and doesn't want to go further.