why can you not just say its over?!!

LegacyUser

ok, to try and keep a long story short...

was going out with someone for 2 months, they completely set the pace, i took their lead as i didn't want to push anything etc.
we became very close, spoke about future - nothing serious or major, just that there'd be one for us!
everything was fine until some friends were over for the weekend, i was told in no polite terms that i would be taking the back seat and wasn't even invited to meet the friends, to which i took offense and said so.
next thing, i get an email saying we need a break and that we could start afresh in a few weeks time.... so i backed off, again, didnt really want to push anything as i was told that i was being "too dramatic" re the friend thing..... left it a couple of weeks and didnt hear anything, sent a msg asking what the story was, got a text back saying, "i'll give you a shout next week to meet up"

so my question is, does this sound like the typical "i'll call you....!" or is it just a case of giving/taking some space? obviously, i dont want things to be over, but i don't want to initiate anymore contact, at the same time though, i dont really want them to think that they can just skulk off without even a proper ending...is it just me or is that kind of behaviour incredibly rude, disrespectful and cowardly?

if something is over, why not just say so?! am i being a complete mug by hanging on in hope?!

rediguana25

Yes it is really rude and just very immature to just let things go without having the b@lls to finish it properly - and unfortunately it happens all to often.
I'm sorry to say it sounds like this is what is happening. Of course I may be wrong but it really does sound like a "i'll call you". He's just trying to buy some time and then when he doesn't call he'll expect you to get the hint. Really sh1tty.....Be prepared.
But really I'm wondering why after only a couple of months of being with someone they need a break. Seriously I think the needing a break thing was an excuse- I think he may have just wanted to chill things but didn't want to come straight out and say it to you- pure spineless I guess.
You have to ask yourself the question - do you really want to be with someone who wants a break after such a short time? You deserve to meet someone who won't want to keep you at arms length - who will be dying to introduce you to their friends.....hold out for that...it will be worth waiting for.
I'm sorry but I really wouldn't be hanging on in hope for this guy.....

LegacyUser

yeah, i hear what you're saying, the thing is though, he did want me to meet all his friends, very early on, and i met them, and they all loved me, he told me that he told them that he could see us together a year down the line, etc. it was only this one particular friend who was different - apparently the oldest friend he has.... (its all very odd and there's more to it than what i've posted)
my head is so melted at this stage over it that i'm actually starting not to care, which is good, i know, but then the anger sets in about being so bloody spineless and rude - to someone whom he claims to love and care about....i REALLY dont get it!

we'll see if i get the infamous "call" next week, although i wont be holding my breath! but if i do, i have a few things of my own that need to be said, although in my heart, i dont think i'll ever actually get the answers to the questions....seriously though, if that was me, i'd just say "yep, its over, sorry, move on, take care" end of.....ESPECIALLY if i claimed to love them! a*shole!!!

LegacyUser

i'll call you! wrote: »

he told me that he told them that he could see us together a year down the line, etc.

You were only going out a few months and he said this to his friends? All fine and dandy if you felt the same way, but this sort of line is used by people who like the idea of falling in love and doing the grown up thing of getting married, without having a clue what all that entails.

I went out with a guy like this, wanted to have kids the whole lot! I kept telling him that we didn't know each other all that well, and just see how it goes. He ended up breaking up with me! I don't think I lived up to his Hollywood notion of what a woman should be!

People who do things like this know exactly what they want, but haven't a bog's notion how to get it! They rush things, expect love, marriage, kids the lot. They have totally unrealistic expectations, which results in them dumping you because you don't match their unrealistic expectations.


Leave him off, he's a headwrecker

rediguana25

Yeah you have the right attitude- see what happens, maybe as you said there is more to it so you never know. Let us know what happens- but hope it all works out for you. Remember though - if he doesn't call just put it down to experience and move on. Some guys really don't have the guts to be straight up it has no reflection on you whatsoever so remember that you deserve more. Best of luck.

shebango

Sorry but irregardless of motives or reasons here, i'd tell this guy to go f*ck himself.

He obviously doesn't value you one bit if he's leaving you dangling like this. Pull the cord on this and save yourself some humiliation.

You're just getting crumbs here. Surely you deserve better than this? If this was your friend, would you tell her to wait it out for this eejit to make up his mind? I doubt it.