Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

what does a "break" really mean? advice please!

  • 03-07-2010 6:04pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    going out nine months, around a month ago b/f became really distant and although still seeing each other regularly ceased to become affectionate..warning bells went off with me as i was cheated on around three years ago and this was deja vu.. i asked him in a rational way was there a problem and he said he just didnt know what was wrong.. he loved me but it was like his heart wasnt in it and he wasnt going to fake anything.. i was floored and suggested he and i not see each other for the interim until he sorted his head out-a break as it were.. looking back i was scared he wasnt in love with me and was too kind to finish it, so i would be the jumper as opposed to the pusher..
    anyway, kinda awkward as we work in next door offices..avoiding him as much as i could the first couple of weeks and it was hell.. i could hear him laughing and messing next door and it was all i could do not to break down..we have had to work on a project the last two weeks and he couldnt be kinder-he phones me each morning, and last thing at night and we chat and laugh like we used to.. i avoided the 'us' chats so as not to put pressure on him, we go for lunch and he walks me to the carpark every evening and some nights i get 'goodnight xx' texts at bedtime.. but i blurted out yesterday 'i still really love you and miss you so so much' after work and he said he missed me too and still loved me but just needed time as it all happened so fast...
    what does this mean? i know he is faithful its not that...how long should this take.. how can i get it back to how it was.. im keeping busy but cry most nights-but putting on a brave face...


Comments

  • #2
    Jessiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 148 ✭✭Jessiegirl


    You poor thing. I think a month is long enough for him to figure out his heart. Sounds like he's messing with you and keeping you sweet to suit himself and keep his options open. End of day you are miserable.
    You could tell him it's time to make his mind up or just walk away yourself, keep work relations at that and nothing more.

    He's treating you very badly. At this stage this should be about what you want not him anymore.


  • #3
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    If you're to follow one piece of advice you are not to sleep with him whatever you do, not when you're in this limbo and when you are on a break I(albeit a very extended one)....

    To be honest it sounds like he just doesn't want to be the baddie by ending it. I think giving him a month to have a think about how he is feeling is more than generous on your part, I'd be inclined to cut him loose. I am sure half of the upset for you right now is the not knowing. Regardless of what a nice guy you think he is, I think he is behaving like a bit of a toad by putting you through this to be honest. Take some control back and get on with the grieving process rather than hanging around for him hoping he will change his mind....


Advertisement