Alcoholic mum doing my head in

LegacyUser

I'm a 20 year old male college student, & my mum has been like this as far as I can remember.

She never hit me or anythng, but she does shout at me a lot, & at times it does get a bit much, especially during the academic year.

Sometimes I just leave the house & go to the library to study in some piece & quiet, but the thought of coming back home just depresses me.

I can't afford to move out, dispite me loving to. (I only could get voluntray unpaid work, & I'm saving what I do have to progress my studies into the U.K.)

I went to an al-anon support group, which was a little helpful, but I was the youngest by about 20 years & usually the only guy...so I felt a tad out of place.

I never really had a lot of friends, so support is kind of limited, the only time I do go out is randomly for sports, but I did my leg in, so I'd say I'll be staying in for a while.

I know I'm not in the worst position, & the only thing to do is just say, "fu*k it" & then get on with it...but I'm finding these summer days quite hard, & just wanted to get it all out.

thanks

LegacyUser

basically i have the same story, although i'm older then you.

all i can say is it does get better. you will find a way to spend your time. you'll move away from her. you'll deal with guilt. you'll realise its ok to feel sorry for yourself sometimes, you don't need to be strong all the time.

I don't know where you live or your interests but theres plenty to do voluntarily, fun things to keep your mind clear, if you look. look at your college and see whats available.

That's awful mate. You seem to have a solid head on your shoulders though which is the important thing. Can't really offer much advice except to keep focusing on your studies and move on when you can - and don't look back.

kittykrazy

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you can find some support. If you're under 21 (I think) there's alateen which is the support side for children of alcoholics when they're younger and there's ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) which had mostly guys there when I went to a meeting in Dublin. There are online meetings for any of the support groups too and the alanon helpline will have someone to listen if you need it. The important thing is that you express your fears and anger and hear how other people deal with living with alcoholics.

Well done for sticking with your studies. Good luck with the future.

LegacyUser

Hi guys, op here.

Thanks for the support.

Kittykrazy, I actually rang al-ateen & it turns out it's only for people 17/18 & under, & the ACOA group don't have any meetings in Ireland any more.

I think it's a huge shame that young adults find themselves in this generation gap with pretty much no support groups that're specifically for their age group.

I was thinking maybe I should just start my own group, since it's pissing me off so much, don't really know how to go about. It's just an idea though.

thanks guys, & there's no way I'm dropping out of college!

Victor

Sometimes, support groups do specific sessions for families, it might be useful to talk to AA again.

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