My ex, our child, our home

wadk

Hi all,any input greatly recieved.


A few years back myself and my x split up due to my stupidity of txt sex,anyway we met up few times after that and ended up in bed. Anyway she became pregnant for me as we were trying for a baby.We decided to give it a go and bought an Ah in dublin,lovely place in dublin 15.Anyway with the stress of working hard,coming home and trying to have a relationship,and time for each other was really hard,soon our sex life fell apart to nothing and then the accusations came my way,things got so mentally tough,during this time i got in contact with an x from 7 years ago through the internet,i was playing it cool and wanted nothing but just a catch up on times,we met for a drink and i never made it home 1 night.(i stayed in my mothers by the way)

Anyway my then gf grew frustrated by my actions and ways,we had a hol with our child and decided a few weeks apart would give us breathing space,i moved into my mams and she stayed in the house,i funded half the outgoings and bonded with my child anytime i wanted,this is the way it has stayed the past 2 years,during this stage the x from 7 years ago and myself got alot closer,although i truly wanted and still do love my x gf and child and home she doesnt want it although we are very civil and polite whenever we see or meet each other,she doesnt know about the girl i'm seeing now but as they say about a womans intuition.

i've a few things penned down from a while ago telling her that i want her for life and how i feel towards her and what we could have if we or i could have 1 last chance,i've tried numerous times to open dialect on it but have got some nasty and horrible insults and comments that its hurt me deeply,i'm afraid to be shot down again with this letter,is it time to give it before she gets her own place and signs the apt to me or have i let it slide for to long and the ship has sailed. i.ve asked her to try counselling but it all seems to fall on deaf ears,i know in my heart ive tried,i poured my soul out to her and asked for us to try again to no avail and being left totally deflated.

I somedays wish i could turn back the clock and not have left on that break apart. if anybody could share some advice or have been in a similar situtaion.:(

LegacyUser

So you had text sex with someone while you were with your girlfriend.
Got in touch with an ex from 7yrs ago, went out for a drink with her (probably intending on doing the dirt, but ending up sleeping in your mams) and all the while, were still with your girlfriend?

And then you 'you know in your heart, you've tried'????

You did the dirt on her in more ways than one, and are surprised that she won't try counselling?
Move on OP.

The mind boggles!!

StillWaters

I'm sorry to say, but I think your ex has moved on. However, she is the mother of your child, and if you want one last try at getting together, send the letter.

You are being quite sh1tty to your new gf though, building a relationship with her whilst still pining for your ex.

Rocky V

hi OP, unfortunately, im practically in the same boat except i didnt go on the break and am still living with wife and child. ye both seem to have moved on and ur lucky so if i were u i'd concentrate on ur new gf and child and leave the ex off. i wish i had done that years ago. oh another difference is i didnt cheat or have txt sex but am still paying for not leaving! its not worth to stay just for child but then again maybe it is....that y im still here!!!

wadk

Thanks 4 the reply guys and gals,i suppose i'm just looking at it all through rose tinted glasses,i know i could of tried harder instead of sweeping it under the carpet and hoping for a solution to fall in my lap,instead its when push comes to shove i get moving.

wadk

Unregistered wrote: »

So you had text sex with someone while you were with your girlfriend.
Got in touch with an ex from 7yrs ago, went out for a drink with her (probably intending on doing the dirt, but ending up sleeping in your mams) and all the while, were still with your girlfriend?

And then you 'you know in your heart, you've tried'????

You did the dirt on her in more ways than one, and are surprised that she won't try counselling?
Move on OP.

The mind boggles!!

And you make it seem like i was a dirty rat,FIRST AND FOREMOST, i know how it feels to be left for another,with 2 months to go to move into our new home,that was just over 7 years when i had met that girl,we both went through **** times and secondly it was more flirtatious than anything and it was a few txts,alright damage done,point taken, but thirdly,i'm 32 years old and i'm ugly enough,big enough and stupid enough to know the grass isn't greener on the otherside, mind boggles is right!!!

magneticimpulse

sorry your post was very confusing...as you mention ex and then someone having a baby and then getting in touch with another ex?? I dont know who had the baby etc or who you want. Its all very confusing.

Who do you want to get with? The ex from 7 years ago?? Have you had sex together with her? Have you been cheating on your current girlfriend with her? Is the current girlfriend the mother of your child?

1st the ex from 7 years ago, didnt work back then and is not going to work now.

2nd the mother of your child prob needs you, and you sound like your just messing about, cop on to yourself and be a man. Be a father to your child. You cant have your cake and eat it, of course its hard work. But watching your child grow up will be so rewarding.

If you cant get it to work with current gf, well get a hobby/sport or something to take your mind of things. If that doesnt work...just move on and find someone new. Stop dating an ex from 7 years ago...it didnt work then, it certainly not going to work now.

fungun

wadk wrote: »

A few years back myself and my x split up due to my stupidity of txt sex,anyway we met up few times after that and ended up in bed. Anyway she became pregnant for me as we were trying for a baby.

you were trying for a baby with someone you werent going out with???

[but thirdly,i'm 32 years old and i'm ugly enough,big enough and stupid enough to know the grass isn't greener on the otherside, mind boggles is right!!![/QUOTE]
well then you should know what to do then !

Peggypeg

Heya OP,

I didn't read all the posts so sorry if this is redundant but to be honest the only positive thing I got from your original post is that you've managed to stay civil. You sound like you have a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome so here's a tip; don't sextext behind your girlfriend's back or get back in touch with an ex of 7 years ago and "go for a drink". Your ex and your child are definately better off without you as you are now. My advice is to get into councelling to see if you can sort out that selfish, cruel, thoughtless, irresponsible and downright stupid streak you have. Stay away from your ex and let her find a nice, kind, responsible and loyal man that can make both of them happy.

Best of luck.

Silverfish

Peggypeg, please read the charter of this forum. You are expected to remain civil. This is your final warning.