Farting in public

Micahelxcx

What do you do when you are sitting on a bus and the person sitting next to you farts?
This happened to me last weekend. A lady, in her 30s, sat next to me and she let an almightly fart during the journey. She didn't apologise or say excuse me or anything.
The smell from her fart was like cabbage and egg and onion. I nearly vomited and asked the girl sitting in front of me if she minded me opening the window.
The farter just sat as if nothing had happened.
I wanted to say something to her like have you no manners.
What would other people have done in my situation?

boarddotie

I would have giggled or gagged and got over it

AnonoBoy

What can you do? Nothing but hold your breath or move.

bronte

That was no lady OP.

Indubitable

More importantly, What was a woman doing on the bus? She must be travelling between kitchens.

Sykk

Small sniffs, don't be greedy.

Mike 1972

This happened to me last weekend. A lady, in her 30s, sat next to me and she let an almightly fart during the journey. She didn't apologise or say excuse me or anything.
The smell from her fart was like cabbage and egg and onion. I nearly vomited and asked the girl sitting in front of me if she minded me opening the window.
The farter just sat as if nothing had happened.

Efallai nad oedd yn siarad Saesneg

funk-you

She was probably having an 'Inside conniption'. The worst is when you're walking behind someone up a flight of stairs and they let a SBV. You face is in the killing zone.

-Funk

Abrasax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMX8L7Yxyfk

easyeason3

Breath through your mouth.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Lucky [EMAIL="b@$tard"]b@$tard[/EMAIL]! :P

Demand your money back.

prinz

You stand up on the bus, cough loudly to get everybody's attention and say...

"Do not smoke or use a naked flame, don't unplug or switch anything electrical on or off, open windows and doors, if the smell persists I will turn off the gas at the meter"

...then roll up a newspaper and wave it threateningly at the lady in question to indicate how you will stop the gas at source.




...or just move seats.

krudler

Didnt happen, everyone knows women dont fart.

Banned Account

OP - lean over and whisper the following in her ear:

"Hi darling, don't worry, I'll help you on this - if you want to stand up very slowly, I can check your crack for follow through"

chin_grin

Max Power1

repay with similar, louder fart!

She'll be jealous then!

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Just aswell it wasnt a fanny fart...

...that would have been a whole different kettle of fish! :P

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

krudler wrote: »

Didnt happen, everyone knows women dont fart.

This is true. They don't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Nodster

....goodthing it didn't happen in Church, she could smell her own pew

orourkeda

Just lift one of your arse cheeks off the chair and let rip.

stovelid

Shit on her lap.

DubMedic

Paging theFlutt to AH.

fakearms123

once it wasn't a queef, those things are rotten! filthy whores stuff!

vibe666

fakearms123 wrote: »

once it wasn't a queef, those things are rotten! filthy whores stuff!

if it had been, she'd have said "exqueef me", so i don't think it was.

my aunt and my grandmother were in a lift a few years ago with this other random stranger and there was a very audible fart from someone.

my grandmother turned to my aunt and said "did you say something dear", and my aunt shook her head.

after the other guy got out of the lift my grandmother said that it was her that farted, but she didn't want the guy to know it was her so she pretended like she'd heard a noise and thought it was someone speaking so he'd think it was my aunt.

she was a sneaky fecker like that!

FlutterinBantam

I was getting the 32 the other day into town, this bint with an overcoat and a pull trolley appeared.

Bus came and all on, and just as she passed the driver, she unloaded a fucking deep throated sonorous boomer which rippled the back of her coat,and spread a thick viscous flat bottomed pungent stink which hung in the air like bottled shite.

Whole bottom trolley was 'stunk out' and the perp. was sitting like lady muck up on the back seat!!

Had to get off the fcuker and get the next one:mad:

Rented Mule

we'llallhavetea_old

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

she unloaded a fucking deep throated sonorous boomer which rippled the back of her coat

LMFAO

RachPie

I'd get up and move seat if it was really bad...otherwise I'd just stifle a giggle!

gerrycollins

Micahelxcx wrote: »

What do you do when you are sitting on a bus and the person sitting next to you farts?
This happened to me last weekend. A lady, in her 30s, sat next to me and she let an almightly fart during the journey. She didn't apologise or say excuse me or anything.
The smell from her fart was like cabbage and egg and onion. I nearly vomited and asked the girl sitting in front of me if she minded me opening the window.
The farter just sat as if nothing had happened.
I wanted to say something to her like have you no manners.
What would other people have done in my situation?

was she good looking?

phill106

gerrycollins wrote: »

was she good looking?

sh1t hot....