Can it work?

LegacyUser

Back story is my long term gf broke up with me a few weeks back. I am devastated she meant the world to me and I have just been going through the motions for the last few weeks. We lived together and have had no contact bar sorting out our place by email.

What is really killing me now is that I look back on our relationship and see how I made a balls of things and how I have driven her away from me. Alot of my mates were into drugs and as a result we didnt really socialize together as a couple. Looking back I realise how important this is in a relationship and that we should have gone out more as a couple with other people.

She has a hobby that takes up alot of time and wanted me to get involved in it, I resented the fact that I did not see much of her when we lived together and as a result I didnt really try to get into it.

Im torn by the fact that I feel if I had done the things mentioned above we could have still been together and that I have lost the love of my life through my ignorance.

As said I have done no contact up to now but to be honest it is killing me not to be sharing my life with her, whether it had be waking up next to her or just texting or having a quick chat. I feel like I need to say how I messed up and that I really want to give it another chance and make amends for the mistakes I made before.

Am I crazy to call her begging to take me back? I feel so down about everything right now and my self confidence is shot to pieces, she was great for me and I cant believe I am in the situation I am in now.

Denimgirl

did she give a reason why she broke up with you? Maybe it's best to give her some space as texting her and calling her can push her further away!How long is it finished?

LegacyUser

We broke up two and a half weeks ago, she said she really wanted to make a go of her career which is in the same field as her hobby.

she had been out socialising with her friends a couple of times in weeks leading up to the breakup. its not in her character to be off with other guys and she came back disgusted with her friends having one night stands and annoyed with guys creeping on her when she was only interested in dancing with the girls and having a laugh. I cant but help her single friends have painted a grass is greener picture for her. I treated her really well and was flexible in terms of doing things independently etc. perhaps i should of been more assertive in saying i didnt want her to go out on her own and rather had gone out with her but to be fair she never invited me out saying it was girls only

Exclamation Marc

I agree with Denimgirl above, giving her space is the best for now.

Give her a little space and then maybe call her and see if she'd like to meet up for a coffee or something. At that stage maybe branch to her that you feel you made mistakes and you only realise what you had when it was gone, and that you'd give anything to even give it a try again. The main thing would be not to beg for her to come back but say it to her in a nice, relaxed, sincere and humble way.

You have to make sure however that this is really what you want. Once you know for sure that the feelings you have are not out of loneliness/missing 'somebody' and are genuinely out of love for her etc, then you can try to win her back. Without sounding like I'm on a high horse, winning her back is a huge commitment and you can't win her back and then go back to your old ways.

Give her some space, show her you've changed your ways in the meantime and be humble when you're talking to her. Thats the best you can do.

Good luck OP.

trebor28

fireball pretty much said it all.