Divorce

BraziliaNZ

I got emails today from an ex, and a solicitor, informing me today that we are now officially divorced! She was my first love and we were young and stupid but we needed to do it so I could stay in her certain North American country. So it was a shotgun thing. Anyway a couple of years later I moved home, and never really heard from her since. Then about 7 years passed until she sent me some forms, I presume she's getting married again. So after me signing a few forms, commisioners of oaths, fax machines etc., today I learned I'm divorced!!!

Anyway - am I supposed to be happy/sad? Do you celebrate these things? Any divorcees around?

Mr. CooL ICE

You should have donkey punched her before you divorced her

MagicMarker

You are now officially ball & chainless.

A beer is in order imho.

The_Minister

Congratulations man.

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.:)

PeterIanStaker

So long as she and her lawyer didnt take everything you own, bar the fillings in your teeth, you should be happy.

What do you do? Jesus man.. Get on the phone and tell her you just won the lotto!
Record it and then post the reaction here!

Coriolanus

I think coke and hookers are the traditional AH way of celebrating. Divorces, christenings, it's pretty much a catch-all.

PeterIanStaker

LordChessington wrote: »

You should have donkey punched her before you divorced her

How could you even think of such a thing?

Flaming Rudolph all the way :cool:

alwaysadub

There seems to be a thing alright for celebrating divorces-we had a caterer in a while ago,and on the side of his van was that he catered for parties, christenings, weddings , divorces.

So when's the party??

BraziliaNZ

Nevore wrote: »

I think coke and hookers are the traditional AH way of celebrating. Divorces, christenings, it's pretty much a catch-all.

I'm broke till payday
So all I have is 2 cans of Amstel, which I'm drinking now. Hooker would be good though.

laugh

Nevore wrote: »

I think coke and hookers are the traditional AH way of celebrating. Divorces, christenings, it's pretty much a catch-all.

Coke and Hookers in a secret sex cave.

stovelid

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I got emails today from an ex, and a solicitor, informing me today that we are now officially divorced! She was my first love and we were young and stupid but we needed to do it so I could stay in her certain North American country. So it was a shotgun thing. Anyway a couple of years later I moved home, and never really heard from her since. Then about 7 years passed until she sent me some forms, I presume she's getting married again. So after me signing a few forms, commisioners of oaths, fax machines etc., today I learned I'm divorced!!!

That's prime material for a mawkish country and western ballad. Get writing!

AnonoBoy

Buy a sports car and try and sleep with some college girls.

Gannicus

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

Flaming Rudolph all the way :cool:

What the f**k is that?

jimmycrackcorm

You sir are now a divorced loser. Or should that be winner?

BraziliaNZ

I'm not sure if I know the meaning of the word "ironic" but the only person who has thanked my OP so far is called The Minister. What faith do you practice sir?

Mr. CooL ICE

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

How could you even think of such a thing?

Flaming Rudolph all the way :cool:

Big Steve wrote: »

What the f**k is that?

Not in urban dictionary. Please enlighten us!



Maybe you could have fed her a portuguese breakfast without telling her what it is

BraziliaNZ

You glance over at the pale delicately embroidered tablecloth and the fresh flowers and suddenly a waiter walks over to you with a tray of freshly baked portuguese buns, round and hot; fresh butter and quince jam sliced in thin shining layers. Fresh cheese, hard and fragrant or shaved smoked ham or fried chorico sliced.A small tray of pastries is added to tempt you and ofcourse there is always a bowl of fresh fruit or freshly squeezed juice to start your breakfast and to finish it, it would never be complete without a cup of cafe com leite (half milk/half coffee) or a bica (lots of hot milk and some coffee) or a small cup of strong portuguese espresso type coffee that will really wake you up. This is continental breakfast almost anywhere in Portugal.

How is a Portuguese breakfast relevant to my situation?

The_Minister

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'm not sure if I know the meaning of the word "ironic" but the only person who has thanked my OP so far is called The Minister. What faith do you practice sir?

Check the avatar beee-atch.

I'sa droppin' lines Aristotle-like.

PeterIanStaker

LordChessington wrote: »

Not in urban dictionary. Please enlighten us!



Maybe you could have fed her a portuguese breakfast without telling her what it is

*NSFW*

Flaming Rudolph: When a chick sucks you off, you blow one on her grille, punch her in the nose, flip her around backwards, throw a pair of fake antlers on her head, light her hair on fire, and throw a rough one in her ass. (this is the holy grail of all sex acts. as far as research indicates, man has only gotten as far as to have the fake antlers in hand. however, that does not mean that it can't be accomplished.) Definition to be found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual-slang .

Now thank me

Pherekydes

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Anyway - am I supposed to be happy/sad? Do you celebrate these things? Any divorcees around?

Happy. Did you consummate your divorce? :pac: Celebrate by getting married again. Your ex seems to be doing that. That's what I did.

BraziliaNZ

Pherekydes wrote: »

Happy. Did you consummate your divorce? :pac: Celebrate by getting married again. Your ex seems to be doing that. That's what I did.

No, I don't think it's for me, the marriage thing. Her new hubby is hella-ugly, according to facebook pics i've seen, but probably a much nicer and all around better person than me. But that's not much of an achievement.
But at least I know their kids will be ugly, if they look like him!

stovelid

Weather forecast: prolonged hot front of sexeh heading for Brazil?

Biggins

Deleted User wrote: »

What do you do? Jesus man.. Get on the phone and tell her you just won the lotto!
Record it and then post the reaction here!

Actually, there's a quirk in Irish law that says that although an ex-partner cannot claim winnings after a legal separation/divorce, they can however claim 50% of the interest of the winnings.
Its a odd small detail in Irish law that still exists somewhere for some reason

One once divorced bloke here who had to go thorough all the legalities.
(Married again later)

BraziliaNZ

stovelid wrote: »

Weather forecast: prolonged hot front of sexeh heading for Brazil?

I don't think so. Unless it's with myself.

Whyno

Some people have all the luck!!!!

Gannicus

will someone tell me what a FLAMING RUDOLPH is.......

TheZohanS

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

No, I don't think it's for me, the marriage thing. Her new hubby is hella-ugly, according to facebook pics i've seen, but probably a much nicer and all around better person than me. But that's not much of an achievement.
But at least I know their kids will be ugly, if they look like him!

Now that made me laugh.

You're a lucky man to get away so lightly, **** can get seriously fùcked in a divorce, nasty, nasty nasty.

You should head out to Coppers to celebrate at the weekend.

karlog

Did she get half

starbelgrade

Why are hurricanes usually named after women?

Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild,but when they go, they take your house and car.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Me, personally speaking if there were no lingering issue's I'd ring her, thank her for sharing with you what she did and then wish her all the best for her future.

Acoshla

Yup people do celebrate divorces, I've seen divorce cakes and cards, so off you go and have a partay!

http://http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2708/4197468572_8b8fc2056d_o.jpg

Wade in the Sea

Sounds like you are lamenting what could have been mate.

Now fcuk that and get busy with what is, you big Amstel drinking legend!

We want to see a thread within the month on AH that asks "Should i feel guilty for having no strings attached sex with a Swedish glamour model and her twin sister"!:D

BraziliaNZ

Arianna Shapely Actor wrote: »

Me, personally speaking if there were no lingering issue's I'd ring her, thank her for sharing with you what she did and then wish her all the best for her future.

I really dont see the point in talking to her ever again...
Oh God I'm so alone! And out of Amstel!

Wade in the Sea

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I really dont see the point in talking to her ever again...
Oh God I'm so alone! And out of Amstel!

There's always a bottle of bristol cream, creme de mente or triple sec for just such an occasion there somewhere, go look!

BraziliaNZ

Wade in the Sea wrote: »

There's always a bottle of bristol cream, creme de mente or triple sec for just such an occasion there somewhere, go look!

I really don't want to resort to the mini bottles of Bols liqeuers ewwww

Scarinae

Biggins wrote: »

Actually, there's a quirk in Irish law that says that although an ex-partner cannot claim winnings after a legal separation/divorce, they can however claim 50% of the interest of the winnings.
Its a odd small detail in Irish law that still exists somewhere for some reason

One once divorced bloke here who had to go thorough all the legalities.
(Married again later)

Ah yes, my mum told my sister's English boyfriend about this very quirk in the law. My sister was raging, says he's never going to want to marry her now :pac:

Wade in the Sea

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I really don't want to resort to the mini bottles of Bols liqeuers ewwww

Bols... that's the spirit. Now you are getting it. Bols to the lot of them!