Staring into bleak future

needhelpguy

I just want to get this out there.

I am a 24 year old guy, 25 very soon, staring into a bleak future. I have been to college twice, the first time I did media but have no interest in a career in that area. The second time was a PLC course in healthcare that I enjoyed and got a qualification that I thought would get me work. It didn't. I finished that course July and got my qualification in November. It has proven very popular and now there are hundreds of people with it, for work in a very small industry where no one is hiring and all the jobs are taken.

I have been unemployed since I left college. I cannot see a future ahead of me. I have nothing to look forward to. I have no proper qualifications (degree etc.). There are no jobs in the healthcare sector I am in.

I volunteer in healthcare (first aid/emergency care) and through that I became interested in it. I am very active and have a lot of friends in it. That is the only think keeping me going. It keeps me sane. I really enjoy it.

Everyday is as boring and meaningless as the last. Everyday adds to my worry and stress about my future and where I am going to go, what am I going to do with myself.

I pace up and down the house in constant thought. The length of time I've been like this has caused me to develop anxiety and a panic disorder. I know I would not have these if I was working, had structure to my life and knew where I was headed.

Compounding the situation is the fact that I was cruely rejected by a girl I am crazy about in our volunteer group recently. We were on a few dates but she led me down a garden path of lies and made a complete fool out of me. We see each other regularly but we both try to keep things amicable for the sake of the work. I feel very hurt and betrayed since we had been good friends for 4 years. I am beginning to get over the whole episode (which, let me tell you, is not the slightest bit easy when you see the person regularly), but now I am seeing her flirting heavily with another guy in the group (and inviting him out!) and it looks like they will get together

The pain of that, and being unwanted by the girl I am mad about, has compounded the fact that I am empty inside, my life has no direction, I have no goals, no satisfying job, nothing to look forward to.

This all has me thinking, is life truly worth living? I asked myself that today, over and over: "What on earth is the point of it all??" There isn't any point.

Thoughts?

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

So sit down and get some goals, get some direction. Work out what you want to do, how you intend on doing it and set yourself a time-line to do it...goals and achievements don't always just land on your lap, sometimes you have to go get them.

I'd also recommend staying away from the girl until you are over her and feeling better about yourself, no need to rub your own nose in it regularly.

Best of luck.

Eve_Dublin

So that´s it then? You´re just going to give up on it all? OP show me a person who hasn´t been in your position by the time they hit their 30th birthday and I´d be very, very surprised. We´ve all been rejected at least once and we got over it. It´s absolutely horrible at the time but we get over it.

When I read your post, I didn´t think, "Oh God, there´s no hope for this man at all". There´s a crisis on at the moment in case you didn´t notice . I´m not being a smart arse but things are going to be difficult for the foreseeable future. 13% of the population are in the exact same position you´re in but not all of them are getting off their holes and doing volunteer work in an area they hope to work in eventually or even have the opportunity to do that. I promise this volunteering will stand to you when there are jobs in the healthcare system. The volunteering is a great start and as Ickle Magoo said, you need to sit down, use your imagination and think of more goals you´ve always wanted to achieve. Sit down and think of a plan of action to get yourself out of this rut. This could be getting fit, learning an instrument, learning a language....only you can do that for yourself.

Life is going to throw many more spanners in the works as you go along and the more you of these you deal with, the better you get at it and the less it phases you. I know I had a bit of a crisis at your age too....I did a degree and finished it when I just turned 25 (media as well) and I had and still have no interest in EVER working in that area....but even having a degree has stood to me when I applied to do a Masters (got accepted but went travelling instead) and getting a job here in Spain teaching English. There was no chance of me getting a job in Ireland right now with a degree in bloody media :rolleyes: so I emigrated. Maybe you could do the same?

By the way, if this girl you´re mad about is a liar, why waste your energy obsessing over her? You have too much time to think of her and you need to fill that time with other things and who knows, you might meet someone who´s not a liar and DOESN´T mess men about in the process.

You have a future but it´s what you make it. You need to get a grip and realise you can do most things you set your mind to instead of wallowing. It´s no good for you.

Maybe see a GP about your anxiety attacks?

Denimgirl

Right your not happy the way things are at the moment that much you do know.A degree is great yeah but I know people with degrees working in mundane call centers and and packing shelves a they were no longer interested in what they studied so hard for so don't fret!Maybe see if there is paid work where your volunteering.When people are in situations like yours it good in a way coz it means theres a major change gonna happen with your life of course your the only one that can make the change,your starting to think outside the box of what you thought you were gonna do,go on websites search courses from fas theres great ones now or work abroad for a while. as the other poster said write down stuff you want to do.Best of luck!

IzzyWizzy

OP, honestly, it's nowhere near as bad as you think. Do you have reasonably good health? If so, that's a hell of a lot less to worry about. My 19 year old cousin was just diagnosed with leukemia. His future is bleak. I know unemployment is soul destroying, but it's not forever. You have loads of options. What about doing an actual degree? What about moving abroad to teach English (there are SCORES of well paid jobs in Asia, for example, and it's a great experience)? Camp America? Is moving abroad an option for you? If so, you've LOADS of opportunities. And even if you stay in Ireland, things won't be this bad forever.

needhelpguy

Thanks for the responses.

I know what I want to do, but it's very difficult to do in this country. I don't want to emigrate, I don't like travelling (particularly flying) and don't feel I could cope on my own. I like Ireland, my friends and family are here and I want to stay.

I have thought about returning to education to get a degree. I considered medicine, but don't have the drive or desire to be a doctor. I am considering nursing but I don't know if I have the drive to do this either. Nursing would be good to fall back on but I really wouldn't be interested in it otherwise.

To be honest, I fail at life in many ways. I cannot handle adversity and I dislike challenges. The slightest difficulty can turn me angry and resentful. I always take the easy road, I mean, why bother making things difficult for yourself? If something is hard I won't do it. I get frustrated easily and often give up. It's easier.

Thankfully I am in very good health. I realise what a blessing this is and I am greatful for it. I go to the gym regularly and am in good physical shape.

Despite what I've written I do have some positives. I just can't see a future if I don't know what the future holds. My hopefull career is difficult to get into and it is highly likely I won't get it. What then? I haven't a clue, and that is what is bothering me.

One of my friends has her whole life sorted and she is as happy as larry. Same age as me, is a nurse, straight out of college got a 50k+/year job and just bought a 4 bedroom house, a new car. She loves her job, has structure, money, a future. She's going back to do a masters this years and so has that to look forward to! I am bitter that she has it all, the type of life I would love, and I have nothing.

Denimgirl

First off never be bitter what anybody has that girl worked hard for what she has and still is. It's not a good menality to have to begrudge people who done well.second you answered your own question you don't want to work hard, you want everything handed to you on a platter sorry thats not what life is about!wake up and smell the coffee! You want something go out and get it but you'll have to work hard to get it like everybody else!

LegacyUser

I stumbled this recently, definitly worth a gander http://theproject366things.blogspot.com/2010/01/project-366-things-begins.html, that lad has the right idea, life is what you make it!
Best of luck OP, I hope you can find one thing each day that genuinely makes you smile

IzzyWizzy

needhelpguy wrote: »

Thanks for the responses.

I know what I want to do, but it's very difficult to do in this country. I don't want to emigrate, I don't like travelling (particularly flying) and don't feel I could cope on my own. I like Ireland, my friends and family are here and I want to stay.

Well, you can't have it every which way. If you really can't emigrate then you might have to look at a different career path.

I have thought about returning to education to get a degree. I considered medicine, but don't have the drive or desire to be a doctor. I am considering nursing but I don't know if I have the drive to do this either. Nursing would be good to fall back on but I really wouldn't be interested in it otherwise.

You're right about needing drive. There's no point doing nursing if you're not even bothered about it. It can be a thankless, demanding job. What about other careers? There are hundreds!

To be honest, I fail at life in many ways. I cannot handle adversity and I dislike challenges. The slightest difficulty can turn me angry and resentful. I always take the easy road, I mean, why bother making things difficult for yourself? If something is hard I won't do it. I get frustrated easily and often give up. It's easier.

At least you realise it. You just need to stick at something. It's one thing to chop and change when you genuinely think you're in the wrong job, I've done it several times, but sometimes you need to stick at it. Once you've done it once, it's easier next time and so on. It IS easier to take the easy road all the time but it's also really boring and limiting.

Thankfully I am in very good health. I realise what a blessing this is and I am greatful for it. I go to the gym regularly and am in good physical shape.

So that's one really good thing.

Despite what I've written I do have some positives. I just can't see a future if I don't know what the future holds. My hopefull career is difficult to get into and it is highly likely I won't get it. What then? I haven't a clue, and that is what is bothering me.

You say it's hard to get into, but you can try. And then have some realistic back ups. There must be something else you'd like to do, would be good at and would be able to train for. I'll give you my situation. I'm training as an interpreter. I want to get into the European Commission. It's very difficult, and I have no experience. I'm going to apply, but if I don't get in, I have several options - become a court interpreter, teach English as a foreign language (I got the cert 2 years ago) or go back into the tourism industry (I did several summers abroad and a placement at a tourist board during college). These are realistic back up plans, none of them really my dream job but all of them interesting enough and things I'm able for.

One of my friends has her whole life sorted and she is as happy as larry. Same age as me, is a nurse, straight out of college got a 50k+/year job and just bought a 4 bedroom house, a new car. She loves her job, has structure, money, a future. She's going back to do a masters this years and so has that to look forward to! I am bitter that she has it all, the type of life I would love, and I have nothing.

Some people just always knew what they wanted and went for it. We all know people like that. The grass is always greener though - she has a lot less freedom than you do now. She has a mortgage. She went into a lifelong career straight from college instead of experimenting or travelling. She's stuck in the one place. Nursing is a hard job - I'd hate to be around sick people all day and wipe bums. There are downsides to everything. Why are you bitter? She earned what she has, you could have done the same.

elbee

needhelpguy wrote: »

Thanks for the responses.
To be honest, I fail at life in many ways. I cannot handle adversity and I dislike challenges. The slightest difficulty can turn me angry and resentful. I always take the easy road, I mean, why bother making things difficult for yourself? If something is hard I won't do it. I get frustrated easily and often give up. It's easier.

Thankfully I am in very good health. I realise what a blessing this is and I am greatful for it. I go to the gym regularly and am in good physical shape.

OP, don't you see the HUGE contradictions in what you're saying here? You say that you can't handle adversity and dislike challenges. What is going to the gym and keeping in shape if not a challenge? Albeit one you're good at. Sitting on the couch eating crisps is easy. Going to the gym is hard (I know, I sit on the couch and eat crisps ).

You're NOT just sitting around doing nothing and saying 'meh, that's too hard, I don't wanna!' You've gotten up and done something, you're out there volunteering, you've making great use of the free time you have while unemployed by doing something relevant to the career you want.

You are obviously well capable of not giving up, and not taking the easy road. Stop telling yourself how rubbish you are and look at your actions, they speak for themselves. Have a little faith in yourself, and with that in mind, start deciding on your next step. One of my cousins was like you, did first aid volunteering and loved it, he's now a nurse and loves it. Maybe there's some other aspect of healthcare work (not necessarily nursing) that you might like? Once you find it, you definitely have the resources to get it.

Good luck