Don't Know What To Do With My Life

i-digress

I'm twenty three years of age and have an honours history degree, and am just finishing a taught masters. I live with my husband, we married last year.

I don't bring in any money because it's almost impossible to get a part-time job right now. My husband works really hard to support us both. I always planned on doing a PhD and this coming academic year I would qualify for a grant which means I'd get my fees paid while also getting three grand. It's a lot better than bringing in nothing.

The problem is, I'm not really enjoying my masters. I prefer writing, both creative and freelance journalism, but I can't really give energy to both because I've a long term illness that effects my mobility, energy levels and, sometimes, my cognitive functions. I got diagnosed with this last October, and I've been told it's a permanent condition, so it's been a rough year.

Crux is, do I do a PhD that I have no desire to do to bring in three grand, while filling in a CV blank, or do I try to find a way to write for a living even though I'm not guaranteed to make any money at all. My husband doesn't think I should do the PhD, but I just want to do what's right for him.

He was really supportive when I fell sick, and it's not easy having a wife who can't walk far is often narky because she's in pain and often has to cancel nights out. But he's put up with that uncomplainingly, including my panic attcks and bouts of depression. We even had to get a cleaner in because I can't physically do the housework.

As my condition is for life, I've also got to think what can I realistically do as a career. I want to leave going on disability payment as an absolute last resort, I'd like to find something I can realistically do for life, despite my bad days.

So should I do the PhD?

Thanks for reading.:(

AngryBadger

OP the first thing I'd ask; is there any way you can do both? Finish your phD, which you must be halfway through by now anyway, (I'm assuming?), get the funding you mentioned while finishing up, but while you're finishing try to look around for ways to earn a living through your writing?

I guess my point is that if you were to start writing full-time today it would be a while before you'd be making good money from that, whereas if you were able to finish your phD studies whilst also looking t ways to make money form your writing in another year or so you'd have the phD qualification, AND some kind of plan to pursue your writing.

That said I'm all-too-familiar with the difficulty of studying for something that no longer holds your interest when you'd rather be doing something else. When all's said and done you'll have to decide for yourself.

Your husband sounds like a good man, at least you know you have his support whatever you decide.

Best of luck OP.

i-digress

I haven't even started my PhD yet. I have to finish my taught masters first.

Ideally I'd like to do both, but I don't have a huge amount of energy. I can be ok and then be unable to function properly for a week or so.

AngryBadger

i-digress wrote: »

I haven't even started my PhD yet. I have to finish my taught masters first.

Ideally I'd like to do both, but I don't have a huge amount of energy. I can be ok and then be unable to function properly for a week or so.

ah ok, so you'd be starting from scratch? Which would mean, 3 years study to get a phD?

In that case I'd suggest finishing the masters and taking a year away from study. Give yourself time to regroup and review your options, it's hard for anyone to have a clear head for making a decision about anything without some space to analyse their situation.

So my advice is finish your masters, then take a year out to review your plans for writing/studying moving forward.

Fremen

i-digress wrote: »

Crux is, do I do a PhD that I have no desire to do to bring in three grand, while filling in a CV blank, or do I try to find a way to write for a living even though I'm not guaranteed to make any money at all.

Be very careful about entering into a PhD if you're not into the subject. At best, you'll be bored. At worst, you'll be miserable.

On the other hand, what will you do if the writing thing doesn't work out? You need a backup plan in both cases.

IzzyWizzy

OP, I really don't recommend doing a PhD for the money. It's not even much money. The level of motivation required is insane, it's way tougher than a taught Masters where at least you have lectures and guidance. What topic would you do? You said you enjoy writing so the act of creating it might be satisfying but only if you have a topic you're really into, and you don't seem to have much enthusiasm. Even people who start PhD's really raring to go find it difficult to keep up the motivation. You said you always wanted to do one - why? Are you planning on going into academia?

Honestly, I think you'd be better off trying to write. I know people who do get paid for freelance articles and things like that - it's not easy but I think you'd be better off trying that than doing a PhD.

coffee_cake

OP I always wanted to do a phd also but at the end of my masters I was getting doubtful. I didn't get funding and now looking back I'm so glad. A phd is maybe 3 years but with another year for a thesis. I have friends doing them and the amount of dedication required is unreal. You're left to your own devices and you are the only one to provide your own motivation.
You have to absolutely love the subject and be really into it going IN, just enough to keep you going. If you don't want to do it really, absolutely don't, you'll end up hating it and considering dropping out and then feeling worse.

What you should do is work for a few years then re-think do you still want to do the phd. Don't just jump into it because you always assumed you would!

Ostrom

Be aware also that three years is an exceptional finishing time for a humanities/social science phd. 4.5 years is an average completion time.

i-digress

Thanks for all the replies. My thing is though, even if I'd be miserable aren't there lots of people right now doing jobs they don't want to do to get by? Three grand isn't a huge amount but it would pay a few bills.

IzzyWizzy

i-digress wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. My thing is though, even if I'd be miserable aren't there lots of people right now doing jobs they don't want to do to get by? Three grand isn't a huge amount but it would pay a few bills.

Yeah but they're usually making more than three grand a year and gaining professional experience. Honestly, I think it's pretty crazy to do a PhD for the money. It's the most difficult way of earning three grand a year I can think of. My ex is getting a proper salary for his, 1400 euro a month, and he still can't wait to get it done. At the end of the day, 250 quid a month is a pittance and there has to be an easier way to make that, even for someone with reduced mobility. I made that sort of money giving a few grinds a week during college, proofreading texts for foreign students, stuff like that. Would that be an option for you? The fewer hours you work, the more time you'll have for writing. If you do a PhD, you'll be dedicating all your time to something you don't even particularly want to do.

coffee_cake

i-digress wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. My thing is though, even if I'd be miserable aren't there lots of people right now doing jobs they don't want to do to get by?

It's completely different to being left to your own devices with only a little guidance and expected to have something major handed in at the end. Seriously, it's the worst possible idea if you're not really into it.

Three grand isn't a huge amount but it would pay a few bills.

Absolutely and utterly not worth doing a phd for three grand. Seriously! You'd be better off even giving grinds or something.

i-digress

Thanks a million for everyone's advice, you've all helped enormously.