Shy child

mozattack

Hi all,

I have a lovely boy who is 6 in a few months time. He is very polite, considerate, funny and caring...at least he is now!

The only concern is that he is very reserved and not forceful like some other boys are. I am trying to address this and brought him to soccer practice on Sunday but he wont go down to the pitch and clung onto me. I didnt want to force it because there are only 2 weeks left in the season, so we came home.

The other day he wouldnt go down a little inflatable slide which loads of other kids were doing. He wouldnt get his face painted until I changed his mind and he loved it - there are other examples.

As i said, amazing kid but think he could be missing out on some stuff by being so shy. He clings onto me a lot and I'd like to fend for himself sometimes. Its a minor gribe, just want whats best for him.

(on the other side, in his end of school report last year the teacher said he was one of the most popular kids in the class, he is a 'friend to everyone')

Any similar circumstances out there?

metrovelvet

By any chance is he sensitive?

littlebug

My two (girl and boy) are both like that. To be honest I have just accepted that that's who they are.... they're not rough and tumble kids and never will be and that's ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with being reserved . My eldest was more clingy than the youngest but I think is now developing a quiet confidence. I encouraged her in the pursuits she was interested in and enjoyed (art and music) so any extra curriculars are focused in that direction. Like yours my son has no interest in football etc but is interested in wildlife and fish so I booked him into a workshop in the aquarium and off he went that day with a smile... not a bother.
If they don't want to go on slides/ rides whatever I don't push the issue.... sometimes they change their mind after watching others for a while and sometimes they don't. Either way is fine with me. Both are happy in school and have plenty of friends and get on well with others.
I know you feel that he might be missing out on stuff but he also might be missing out on feeling awkward and uncomfortable and scared and feeling like he's being forced to do something he doesn't want to do or mam/ dad won't be happy.

I was that child

CrazyRabbit

It could just be his natural personality. Not everyone is outgoing/extroverted.

On the other hand, he may lack confidence & still clings to the security his parents provide. A lot of patience and tons of gentle encouragement can help here.

My friends 7 year old son Josh is also very quiet and shy. It's hard to get him to try anything. But he is slowly becoming more independant, adventurous and confident in himself. I've found it's much easier to get him to try things when there are a few other children obviously have lots of fun doing the same thing. But he clams up when on his own, or in very large groups.

smelltheglove

My eldedt is like that, just turned 8. I have noticed in the last year there is one particular relative that she opens up around and I love to see her confidence when she is around this person, its like all the inhibitions go away and sometimes it can last a day or so after being together, this is an older sister in law of mine whom we dont see too often. I do really encourage her to push her boundaries around this person and I am noticing now, slowly but surely, she is getting that bit more confident. Like your son my child would be popular ins chool with her peers and has a good circle of friends but does not work well when she is around people she does not know too well.

I'd just suggest as I have done since noticing the difference to push the boundaries with your son when he is around someone who opens him up. Does he have a cool uncle or cousin that brightens his day, I think most kids have that person that makes them feel extra comfortable, i.e. for my 12 year old brother it is my husband, for my youngest daughter it is her cousin.