Did you cry at the Funeral ?

WIZE

Hi All

My Dad passed away in October Last year . I loved my Dad so much as he was always there for me . He was very sick for the last few years of his life and we all seen the end was near .

I always thought that when my parents died I would be in bits and would have uncontrollable emotion .

But I have not shead a tear in the last 8 months since his passing and have not suffered any Serious Emotion besides missing him

Does anyone go through the same thing ?

Tom Thorne

Hi,
My Dad died almost 3 years ago. He too was sick for a a few years. I didn't cry at the funeral or at any time after. Though we were in regaulr contact we weren't particularly close to be honest.

dublingal80

everyone handles grief differently. Completely differently

my dad passed away nearly a year ago. we found out 4 days before he died that there was nothing the doctors could do for him so it was quiet a shock. We were all there for his last breath and as he took it i just stood there, completely dumb founded, not believe what had just happened. it wasnt until a nurse came in to do his blood pressure that she said he had passed and i literally cried on and off for a month. The funeral i bawled, but i cry at the littlest things so It was to be expected

If you feel the need to cry, cry, but just make sur eyou talk about how you are feeling and dont keep anything locked away

How Strange

OP, you can't compare your grief to someone elses.

It could be that you had time to resign yourself to his passing because he was sick for a prolonged period. When my grandad died I know my Mam was upset and was grieving but it was also a release for her and all the family felt relief that his suffering was over. It didn't mean we loved him any less than the other grandparents but we saw him suffering for a long time and saw how terrible it was for him.

ztoical

How Strange wrote: »

OP, you can't compare your grief to someone elses.

+ 1 I lost my dad just over 2 and half years ago now and at the time I didn't cry in front of anyone cept once in front of my mum. At the funeral one of my cousins who wasn't even close to my dad broke down crying but I didn't. I've had a few weepy days since then, don't know how or why they happen when they do.

To this day I don't know if my brother cried, I never saw him cry during the funeral or after and I don't want to upset him by asking.

dollydimples82

WIZE wrote: »

Hi All

My Dad passed away in October Last year . I loved my Dad so much as he was always there for me . He was very sick for the last few years of his life and we all seen the end was near .

I always thought that when my parents died I would be in bits and would have uncontrollable emotion .

But I have not shead a tear in the last 8 months since his passing and have not suffered any Serious Emotion besides missing him

Does anyone go through the same thing ?

I too couldnt cry at my brothers funeral, i did feel said and felt i should have been crying but no tears came. i did cry later maybe months.
I think when someone you love is suffering or very sick that somehow you have grieved for them already and that you just want their pain to stop. (having said that my mam cried for months maybe years but she had lost a son).
I had watched my brother go from a fun loving, mischievous, happy, football crazy young lad to someone i didnt regonise, he was thin, looked sick, in pain, confined to bed, not able to talk and i hated this. It was an awful way for him to end up and i hated him been in pain. I just wanted him to be happy.

blondie7

i no when my dad died nearly seven months ago i was upset but i just couldnt cry, id cried myself out before he died. It was the first time i seen my brother cry and he tried so hard to fight it back (think its a male thing) now though i could be sitting watching TV and then id think of my dad and i would have a little cry nothing major, my mum says that she does the same.

Deki

When my father passed away I think I was in a state of shock for a while. I had this desire to make everyone else comfortable and at ease. As a result all through the days before the funeral I didn't cry at all. Just kept putting one foot in front of the other. It wasn't until they wanted to take him to the cemetery that I began to fall apart.
To this day I hear jokes or see a movie I think he'd enjoy and I have to fight against the tears. Not desperate loss now - just missing him. I think everyone deals with death in different ways. I don't think there is a "right" way to morn. You feel what you feel when you feel it.

Lupo_solitario

Deki wrote: »

When my father passed away I think I was in a state of shock for a while. I had this desire to make everyone else comfortable and at ease. As a result all through the days before the funeral I didn't cry at all. Just kept putting one foot in front of the other. It wasn't until they wanted to take him to the cemetery that I began to fall apart.
To this day I hear jokes or see a movie I think he'd enjoy and I have to fight against the tears. Not desperate loss now - just missing him. I think everyone deals with death in different ways. I don't think there is a "right" way to morn. You feel what you feel when you feel it.

+1 My Dad passed away two months ago and reading your post , it is just how i feel and people ask me how are you coping but i dont have any answer it is just good days and some bad days we all cope in different ways

Canard

My mam died in November (drunk driver hit her) and I found it a bit hard to cry. I tried not to, I don't know why. I think the shock of how quickly it happened had something to do with it.

I cried at night times though, and when I visited the grave on her birthday with my dad and my sister I cried too. I miss her so much, but I had a really lovely dream about her and it helped ease the pain a lot.

There was no suffering, so although I didnt get to say goodbye, she was in no pain. I'd give the world to have her back but I know she's happier now.

messymess

I didn't cry at my dad's funeral either. I don't think any of my family did. The night before was terrible, I had a very shallow sleep on the couch. I woke up in physical pain and with the remnants of welted eyes. I took a xanax, two paracetamol and some Andrews liver salts for breakfast and then drove down to the Matter hospital to pick my mum up for the funeral. She was recovering from surgery for a broken collar bone and treatment for MRSA. We had to sign her out the night he died even, it was really heartbreaking.

I have a terribly bad phobia about speaking in public, more than just dislike of it, I go through a complete meltdown. I'm not designed for it. But I wrote a eulogy speech for my dad and delivered it with a sense of calm and pride I've never felt before. After the funeral the good will, handshakes and hugs from close friends and people I hadn't seen in years was amazing. That support really boosted me.

A year on now and I miss him more than I ever did. I think about him every day and tears are never far behind. Tears of joy, sadness and loss. I try to be the best person I can be though and live my life in a way that would make him proud of me

Ginja Ninja

I cried once at one of my brothers funerals.Everyone Grieves differently,some people [like my mother] want to be swamped with people and whine and moan[not in a bad sense,but are vocal and demonstrative] whereas others find different ways to deal with it.

storm2811

My dad died in '05 and my best friend who was keeping me going 6 months after.

I didn't cry at the funeral,or for ages after,was really hostile towards everyone for about a year or two.

After that I went to bits,was held in for too long I suppose.

Uriel.

Didnt cry at funeral, may have been some moist eyes but didn't cry much.

Funeral home with the family when the corpse was laid out was very tough for me though. Much harder than the hospital the night he died for some reason, (Maybe it was the shock of the death or something).

445279.ie

WIZE wrote: »

Hi All

My Dad passed away in October Last year . I loved my Dad so much as he was always there for me . He was very sick for the last few years of his life and we all seen the end was near .

I always thought that when my parents died I would be in bits and would have uncontrollable emotion .

But I have not shead a tear in the last 8 months since his passing and have not suffered any Serious Emotion besides missing him

Does anyone go through the same thing ?

My mum died 4 years ago last week. Any day now it'll hit me and I'll cry for a week

Everyone is different OP so take your time

My condolences on your loss

Reesy

Dad died in March. I bawled my bloody eyes out. When I opened my mouth to sing the tears came pouring out so I shut my mouth.

We're all different, eh?