It still hurts

LegacyUser

Hey everyone ,

A few months back I posted here for help when my ex boyfriend dumped me a few months after i moved to the U.S for us to be together . It was a mutual decision for me to go there.... but seven months after i got there he dumped me saying he fell out of love with me ... the decision seemed to have been made by him so quickly ... we were both crazy in love . But in the end i realise he just didn't think enough about what he wanted.

I regret everyday coming home , but i felt i had no choice but to move back to Ireland as i was in so much pain and couldnt handle being alone there . I just didn't understand what i did to deserve this . I have been doing well for the past few months , I tried dating but i just wasnt ready .

The past weekend has been so painful however , I miss my ex so badly and i can't get him out of my head . Eventhough he probably has long forgotten about me ... if he doesn't love me there ain't much i can do about it . I guess this heartbreak is too much for me sometimes ... i'm on such a low ...

Any advice from others who went through similiar ??

Thanks for reading xx

Sebastien De Valmont

Go out and find someone else.

You have to move on.

There's simply no other way.

The harder you try to find love the less likely it will happen.

The less you try the easier it happens.

Micahelxcx

What do you mean that he didn't think hard enough about what he wanted?
How do you know that?

You have to move on, ok?

Forget him. He's not coming back.

Get out and about with friends and enjoy yourself.

I'm sure you have an attractive personality and therefore why don't you meet new people.

Don't brood or mope around.

He's gone and yes he has probably forgotten you.

I know this sounds cruel but it is for the best.

LegacyUser

BoysBoysBoys wrote: »

I regret everyday coming home , but i felt i had no choice but to move back to Ireland as i was in so much pain and couldnt handle being alone there .

You were very brave to come back. Many people would've liked to pretend that everything was hunky dory, carry on with the facade, and end up unhappy because they had no support.

You're doing well. You're back home amongst friends and family. Now you didn't have a good weekend, but that's just a small set back. Get back out there again. Although I would advise you to keep away from pubs and clubs (if you're just going for the sole purpose of meeting someone) because it's practically impossible to meet someone decent in them once you get to mid to late twenties. Figure out what it is you like to do, and do it. If you don't meet anyone while doing that thing you like, well then the evening's not wasted.

Funky Kingston

Micahelxcx wrote: »

What do you mean that he didn't think hard enough about what he wanted?
How do you know that?

You have to move on, ok?

Forget him. He's not coming back.

Get out and about with friends and enjoy yourself.

I'm sure you have an attractive personality and therefore why don't you meet new people.

Don't brood or mope around.

He's gone and yes he has probably forgotten you.

I know this sounds cruel but it is for the best.

Mate , i think she ment that her ex didn't think about what they both were getting into before she moved there . You moved your life across the atlantic for your realtionship and it is very hurtful .

You have to move on but make sure to feel better and take your time . I hope you realise what you deserve .... he sounds like an a**hole

LegacyUser

It was tough to come home but i think its the pain of all that that hurt me most , having to pack and leave . I don't know why i miss him because i know he would be no good for me ...i would never trust him . I know we are not getting back ... im not stupid ... that doesn't mean i don't miss the good times . I actually think i miss LOVE more than the person . I am ready to meet someone ... but i'm not gonna choose just anyone so yeah the pubs are out .

What i ment by him not thinking it through enough was the commitment involved when moving in together and moving country .... he told me himself he realised he is not prepared for this kind of commitment .. too late and he did it badly but hey life goes on .

It is the hurt that lingers though and that is why i feel this way i think

thanks

Denimgirl

OK, now that your single with no responsibilities and your still missing him a bit I would'nt advise you to rush into another relationship theres no point in trying to condition yourself to do something when your heart is not in it,theres a big world out there why don't you do something that you always wanted to do? nothing to do with men or relationships,and do something for yourself for once!pick a country you always wanted to go to,if you have the cash go travelling for a few months,or work and save to go,something to look forward to!I don't think theres a lot to do in this country and maybe pure boredom has you thinking of him.