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A Poem about Fear

  • 28-06-2010 2:11am
    #1
    Klingon Hamlet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,747 ✭✭✭


    I can feel him hiding where the least light lies
    I can feel him staring with his lidless eyes
    I can feel him smiling through his blood-soaked teeth
    I can feel him coming over to eat me.

    I pull the sheets up to my chin and pray
    I squeeze my eyes shut to keep him away
    I curl into a ball and hope I can't be seen
    I feel something trickle from my groin to my knee

    His laugh echoes across the dark room
    He leaps from his hiding-place and lands with a boom.
    He scrapes the floor with his nails, making them sharp.
    His eyes are red with hunger, his teeth like those of sharks.

    Time for dinner, he says with glee.
    I whimper, Please don't kill me...
    I won't kill you,     he says softly.
    Then he adds, Immediately.

    In womb of shadow I can just make out
    His twisted shape, all turned about.
    The snake-like neck, the bobbing head.
    I'll see him soon, soon I'll be dead.

    I lick my lips. You're not really here.
    He replied, Then you've nothing to fear.
    I feel him bite down on my cheek.
    I swing my fists and growl and shriek.

    He pulls away, tears off face-flesh.
    Pain fills me up until I retch.
    Everything is white and black stars.
    I'm just as real as you are.

    I roll out of bed, coccooned in sheets.
    I wait to see horned hoofs, thorned feet.
    Instead fast thoughts, faster heartbeat.
    I look up into the eyes of: me.

    My reflection is six feet tall.
    I stand up slowly, nearly fall.
    I touch my cheek--not a mark.
    Maybe this was just some lark.

    A cruel joke of my own making.
    I laugh a bit, though I'm still shaking.
    Then I slowly recall I'd recently sold
    That man-sized mirror, it was too old.

    I blink, I nod, it all sinks in.
    I look up into His Wide Grin.


Comments

  • #2
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,731 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    I don't normally comment on poems but I really liked this.
    There are two lines which, IMO need to be redone, but the rest is very good.
    His eyes are red with hunger, his teeth like those of sharks.
    It just doesn't seem to scan right and is out of register. "Teeth like a shark" would probably fit better (or "teeth glint in the dark"...)
    Maybe this was just some lark.
    This really reads like a writer mentally going 'ark, bark, dark, hark...' and forcing a sentence to fit the rhyme-word.


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