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Incest And The Sex Offenders Register And Cuming During An Attack?

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  • 26-06-2010 11:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi! I posted here about being sexual abused by my brother and I got some good advice. Thanks.
    Here's my question. If I ever did report him I know that he may be put on the sex ofenders register. But it also says you cam be put on it for incest so I am just wondering would I be put on it to?
    Also this is what is bothering me as well. During one of the attacks my brother was touching my penis. So does this mean I enjoyed the attack? I don't think think I enjoyed it. Could I have just cum for no reason? When this happened my brother told me that I was enjoying what he was doing to me? Ws he right?
    This is not a troll!
    Sorry for the poor grammer!


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    #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    If he is charged and found guilty in court he would go on the sex offenders register.
    Victims of incest do not get charged or put on the sex offenders register.

    It is common for victims of sexual assault/rape/incest to display signs of arousal
    it never equals consent or that the person wanted the assault to happen.


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    #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    You cannot control what your body did while you were attacked. This is one of the things that really messes with victims heads.


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    #4
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    You can't even think like that. It was a physiological reaction (body) rather than a psychological reaction (mind), in no way was it consent or you enjoying it.

    Have you had counselling OP? A good idea would be to have a chat with the people at http://www.oneinfour.org/ They will be able to guide you through the whole reporting process and what happens after you bring it to the attention of the police. They can help you through every step.


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    #5
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Hey, firstly I want to say that I'm so sorry for what you went through, and the confusion you're feeling now.

    You will absolutely NOT be put on the offender's register for incest. You weren't a willing participant, you were forced into it. It's only people who happily, willingly commit incest that get in trouble for it. You were a victim, not a participant and don't ever forget that. You weren't wrong and you'll never be punished for it.

    As for the arousal/ejaculation question - it's actually more common than you'd think. In men, a physical stimulant can evoke arousal whether you want it or not. It's a physical reaction to a physical stimulant, it has nothing to do with you wanting it or not wanting it. Aside from the physical side of things, the adrenaline rush you get when you're in a situation that terrifies or scars you causes an erection and even ejaculation.

    What happened was a normal physical reaction to a terrible situation, nothing more. You quite clearly did not enjoy it. If you enjoyed it, you wouldn't be feeling such turmoil.

    I'd like to suggest a site to you, if that's ok. It's American, but it's for survivors of abuse, rape and incest and has a special men's section. The address is http://pandys.org/forums

    Good luck and never doubt yourself because you will never be punished for what your brother did to you and you were not a willing participant so you did not enjoy it. Your reaction was normal.


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    #6
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    It may help to consider your response to what happened in two pieces, the physical, and the emotional.

    Ideally we want our physical and emotional experiences to match each other, i.e. that someone would only experience arousal or sexual response to attention they consented to. This is not always the case, particularly when we're discussing sexual assault of some kind. In short the fact that you ejaculated/came was a physical response not an emotional one, your brother is using your doubt about this to control your feelings about the attack.

    I'm not in a position to comment on the legalities of your situation, but I would keep what I've typed above in mind when you're trying to get your head around this; we are not always in control of how our bodies react.

    Also, if you haven't done so already, I'd suggest talking to a professional, maybe someone from another city/county if you're worried about privacy, but certainly a good therapist could help you with this.

    Best of luck OP.


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