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Afraid of Women

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  • 26-06-2010 4:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi
    Im 27 years old and Im afraid of women, not to sound big headed but I know Im good looking but that doesnt matter a damn if you dont have the confidence and personality to go with it.
    Approaching women in a club has become out of the question, I dont know why.
    A group of good looking women actually intimidate me. If Im with a few friends (who would have girlfriends usually) might say to me "Go up and talk to her" and I cant.
    Im not as bad if Im out with my work mates who are mostly single as we can kind of support each other or whatever but overall its very bad.
    The ironic thing is that Im well aware that the one thing I know women like is confidence and men who approach.

    When I was younger I was ok, between 18 and 21 I went out with 3 women, one which I was crazy about, were still friends now. I have memories of me chatting to all different women on nights out etc.

    I know the only solution is just keep going up and talking to them so I get used to it, but I cant, I just cant face that fear and it often makes what should be a good time out rather depressing.
    On another note there is a girl who I had been kind of flirting with for a few weeks every now and again, it was clear she was into me, her friends even hinted it. She then invited me to a party through facebook, kind of suggesting for me to go on my own and I made up an excuse and left it off.
    I was kind of into her but not that much. But to be honest im thinking the fear of me being awkward or or looking nervous put me off.
    I cant break from my comfort zone.

    I dont know whats wrong but its starting to take its tole now. I used just say ,'ahh ill meet someone evenutally' or whatever but I dont think thats the case unless I do something about it.

    Even with a few drinks in me I cant do it. I used think it was because I was being put on the spot by my friends who are couples but even if I end up on my own in a club or wherever I cant seem to push myself.
    I get quite down on myself when I see good looking women, and I know the longer this goes on the worse itll probably get.

    Has anyone been through this and come out the other side?
    Thanks


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    #2
    Motley Crue
    Registered Users Posts: 6,382 ✭✭✭Motley Crue


    OP, I have had some experience in this area, in my case it was actually more of a sexual thing - do you have a problem with intimacy for example, are you afraid perhaps of having sex with a woman. I don't mean to embarrass you but it can be the case that sometimes those who have confidence issues, and like in your case where you told the girl you didn't want to go to the party, have deep rooted issues with sexual intimacy. In any case, when you do have a relationship, it will be something you must be sure you are able to deal with.

    I think, as you have said, you are locked in a comfort zone...you have to break that. Perhaps going out for a night with a single mate and maybe visiting a club you have never done before with completely new people will allow you to try your confidence with women. Alternatively, persue the girl who likes you, and see where that leads. It will be a lot easier and if you do not she may decide to forget about you in the short term.


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