Catch22

LegacyUser

I will keep this to the point. My dad did some terrible stuff years ago. I cut contact with him and thought i'd be happy never to speak to him again and it didn't upset me. A couple of years later and it started wrecking my head and I dealt with it really badly and carried his guilt according to a woman I spoke to. I'm over that now but lately i've been wondering what if he died tomorrow and I never spoke to him also the last few nights i've been out i've come home and it's been on my mind and i've roared crying, maybe im getting soft in my old age. Should I meet him or just leave it in the past.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I hear what your saying. My dad behaved awfully years ago when we were kids and I swore to myself I would never talk to him again. I cut him out of my life for about 15 years. I always felt I was over all the horrible stuff and it was in the past. I got to a point where I was not angry or bitter towards him but felt I just did not want anything to do with him in my life. However recently through a pure accident I ended up on the phone to him one day and we took it from there. We spoke regularly on the phone and have met up once or twice for dinner. Now we are not best friends or anything but being in contact again is nice. I am taking baby steps now getting to know each other again. I suppose all the hurtful stuff is in the past and i dont want to waster anymore engery on it. It is nice to have him back in my life, he has changed I think and thats worth a second chance. I am not sure if it will work out in the future but I can always look back and say I gave it a chance. Best of Luck OP

LegacyUser

Thanks thing is I can't forgive the stuff he's done

LegacyUser

Thing is I can't forgive what he did.

Miss Fluff

Have you looked into counselling to help you get over what he did OP?

LegacyUser

I;ve done it and honestly dont' think much more can be gained from it, it's more of a what way will I feel if I never got to see or speak to him kind of thing and it only seems to come to light if I have been out drinking. It's like accepting someone is gone yet they're still living.

Miss Fluff

Well then you should act on it. Making some tentative steps towards making contact. Maybe write him a letter or phone him? How long is it since you were in touch? Do you know how to locate him etc?

LegacyUser

7 years. I do but I don't know what I hope to achieve if I do contact him.