Munch

Klingon Hamlet

The doorbell rang and the four of us grinned through smokefumes and thought, Finally, the food's here. Tom was closest so he ran out, we could hear him swinging the door open. We all drooled on the carpet waiting, heard a bit of natter, then the door slammed shut. The excitement was too much. Pizza was going to sort out our munchies.

No sign of Tom.

“Tom?”

Nothing.

He was a prankster so i jumped up and ran out to give him a slap but he wasn't there. The door was shut. I opened it in time to see the really tall---I mean REALLY---tall man standing about five feet away, dressed all in black like some Halloween freak. Black cloak, he was even wearing a skull mask.

“Looking for your friend?” he asked.

I'd lost my smile and my appetite. “Uh. Yeah?”

“Thomas.” The masked man turned his head. I didn't recognise the voice. Why was he dressed up? Why did his voice sound like that? “Thomas?” Real sing-song voice. “Oh Thooomaaas...” The head turned even more,and I could see the neck twisting like a rubber hose, and I couldn't see where the skull-mask ended and the skin began.

A little voice said: Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it's really a skull.

Ridonkulous! shrieked my inner Mr Sensible.

The skullface was looking right at me, and the eye sockets were glowing now.

“Cool LEDs,” I told him, gulping down bile.

“They're not LEDs,” he said as he creeped up to me one step at a time. “And you know I ate your ****ING FRIEND!”

He lashed out and I screamed and swing the door shut, fell on my ass and all the lads started laughing. Til they saw my face, and they laughed even harder.

“Jesus,” someone said, picking me up off the floor, “I really had you going there!”

There was Thomas, standing over me, smiling down at me with his pearly whites. I shook my head. “You...you...”

“Me me me.” He shook his head and slapped my shoulder. “What've you been smoking buddy?” He laughed out loud, and as I watched him approach the lads, I thought two things:

Where did the mask end and the skin begin?

and

Didn't Tom have braces?

pickarooney

The first paragraph drags a bit. I reckon you could say the same thing in about ten words. The rest is very good.

cobsie

Love the last-line twist. Well done!

Robbyn

Really cool flash-fiction piece there

there's certain situations where the writing could have been a little better like "gulping down bile" and "drooling on the carpet" didn't really click.

Otherwise it was great loved it well done.