Looking forward to kids growing up or not??

KittyeeTrix

D'ya know what, I've just been sitting here mulling over the thought of all my kids being older and living their lives with their own families.......and tbh I'm not all that freaked out by them growing up and moving out etc....

I'm actually looking forward to it as they are fierce cool, interesting kids and I can only imagine they will make some super funny, decent adults.

Don't get me wrong, I will miss the cutsey times we had when they were toddlers but I am definitely going to enjoy them just as much as adults.. I often imagine what careers will they have and what type of boyfriends/girlfriends will they bring home etc......

How do the rest of ye parents here feel about this???

Are ye looking forward to when yer kids are older to experience that different relationship with them or would ye prefer if ye could keep them toddlers/babies forever???:)

smelltheglove

Oh I cant wait to see how they turn out, not looking forward to the boyfriend part though!

ntlbell

I try not to put much thought into it.

The whole process happens so quickly I try and just enjoy the now.

jimmycrackcorm

If only I could freeze dry my eight year old now I would. Actually I don't mind the grown up bit, its the teenage years that I freak about

Wantobe

I already know what my two want to be when they grow up- my nearly six year old wants to be a guard ( eek, will have to discourage that one, much too difficult a career choice) and the four year old has just graduated from wanting to be an elephant to now wanting to be a car. Pretty cool.

I love, love them the way they are now. They are so funny and cute. Also kind of dreading the teen years ( especially remembering my own).

Ickle Magoo

One half of me wants them grown up, moved out and enjoying happy, fulfilling lives - the other half of me wants them to stay small forever....actually, I think I'm just dreading the teenage years!

Rochester

I remember with fondness the baby breath on my cheek and the little wiggling legs, then I remember the fact I didn't sleep for the first three years....

However, when they enter the school system, not sleeping is the least of my worries.

Again, dreading the teenage years, remembering my own and now feeling sorry for my dad who was so rejected by me during those years it leaves me in a cold sweat.

smelltheglove

Wantobe wrote: »

I already know what my two want to be when they grow up- my nearly six year old wants to be a guard ( eek, will have to discourage that one, much too difficult a career choice) and the four year old has just graduated from wanting to be an elephant to now wanting to be a car. Pretty cool.

Well my youngest wants to be a rock star and nothing but a rock star, she is 3, she has rock star socks that she wears, one up, one down, and says thats what rock stars wear so shes going to wear them that way too! My eldest changes between vet, hairdresser and others though I'd say with her fascination with all things girly and style she will most likely lean to the beauty industry.

Rochester wrote: »

I remember with fondness the baby breath on my cheek and the little wiggling legs, then I remember the fact I didn't sleep for the first three years....

I like my sleep so much I dont remember baby years with fondness. I love babies but I prefer giving them back, I like seeing the personalities, seeing them grow into their own people, I actually really am looking forward to them getting bigger, not that I wont enjoy it in between. Oh the excitement, bless.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

smelltheglove wrote: »

Oh I cant wait to see how they turn out, not looking forward to the boyfriend part though!

Why? What age is your child?

deisemum

Oh we're in the teenage phase in my house, my lads are almost 15 and almost 13.

In their eyes one minute I'm the best mam in the world and the next I'm stupid and don't know anything so far when they overstep the mark and have calmed down they do apologise and I realise that they're not too bad YET.

The older lad is away at the gaeltacht at the moment and there must be too many attractions for him not to even think of his mam let alone phone to say how he's getting on.

I'm just wondering what the hormones will be like over the summer holidays.:(

Beruthiel

I also dreaded the teenage years, turns out they weren't so bad at all.
Fully educating your child ahead of time on all aspects of what being a teenager is like can really smooth the way.
Also, talking to instead of talking at really helped.

I love the fact she's a grown up now.
I get to have total freedom in my comings and goings again. Tis great.

stovelid

Half and half.

Part of me wants him to stay a baby forever, but I love the idea of him being a man, and us going for a pint/having a chat. Which is a cue for him not wanting to know me when he's reared.

Khannie

Beruthiel wrote: »

Fully educating your child ahead of time on all aspects of what being a teenager is like can really smooth the way.

Can you expand a bit on that if you would?

Beruthiel wrote: »

I get to have total freedom in my comings and goings again. Tis great.

I'm looking forward to that too. I see couples whose kids are reared and they seem to have a LOT of free time.

stovelid wrote: »

Half and half.

Part of me wants him to stay a baby forever, but I love the idea of him being a man, and us going for a pint/having a chat. Which is a cue for him not wanting to know me when he's reared.

That kinda sums it up for me. I'm currently having super chats with the youngfella as he enters puberty. You know, asking about girls and stuff like that. Feel really glad that he is close enough to me to ask me that stuff.

Khannie

Gustavo Tangy Oak wrote: »

Why? What age is your child?

I can tell you that I have 2 little girls (3 and nearly 6 months) and for 3 years already I have been living in fear of the day that a boy calls at my door looking for my baby girl. I know it's perfectly natural. I also know what boys are like since I am / was one.

Nevyn

Khannie wrote: »

Can you expand a bit on that if you would?

I have taken that path as well, talking about drink, drugs, sex, peer pressure, standards and respect with them before teen age years hit and they get exposed to them via their peers.


Mine are 12 and 10 (practically I an told cos it's less then a month), it's the golden age, they go to bed before 10pm get up wash and dress themselves can make breakfast for themselves and snacks during the day but they aren't yet too cool to hand out with thier parents or to play games or go places.

I know it's not gonna last and the stroppy teens are just around the corner,
as for more freedom, dunno I include them in a fair bit of my hobbies as it bring them to events and days out.

I do look forward to eventually getting back to work/college.

Fittle

Mine is 8, and I am really enjoying everything about him these days (didn't for a while!) . That sounds awful I know, but I found the first few years pretty difficult (sleep depravation, pnd etc).

I absolutely love his company now. He is so funny and makes me lol regularly (think he'll be a stand-up;)).

I'm starting to talk to him about girls and he's still at that stage where he doesn't really like them...altho he goes a little red when I mention a certain girls name!
So to answer your question, yes I'm looking forward to him growing up...:D

Beruthiel

Khannie wrote: »

Can you expand a bit on that if you would?

Telling her all the things that will happen as a teenager.
Sex, all the STDs you can get, condoms, drugs, drink, hormones.
Wish someone had told me the effect hormones can have on me as a teenager. Would have helped a lot!
I started giving her the odd drink once she hit 14. She told me that I really did ruin the whole lure of going off drinking in a field.
Why would she bother doing that when she can have one in the comfort of her own home?
I kept nothing from her.
One friend of hers started drinking heavily at 14. I remember having a conversation with regards to the reasons why. The poor girl had a dreadful family life. Basically pointing out why someone goes down that road.
Talking to your teenager like they are an adult and teaching them how to think for themselves will not be lost on them.

Fittle

Beruthiel wrote: »

I started giving her the odd drink once she hit 14.

Nevyn

It's not illegal and it is how it is done in other countries, a watered glass of wine or a small glass of beer with food.

ash23

I've always dreaded her moving onto the next age, but am also aware that each year has been better than the last.

When she was a baby I didn't want her to be a toddler. but when she was a toddler I thought "this is the best age ever!" and didn't want her to get to school age. And then she did and I thought "this is the best age ever!" and so on and so forth.

So while I don't want her getting bigger because I just adore the age she is now, I am very much aware that I'll probably love her age even more next year and the one after that etc etc etc.......

She's just getting funnier and smarter and we get closer with every year that passes so I can't wait for her to be older but all the same, part of me wants to keep her small aswell.

Fittle

I thought drinking under the age of 18 was illegal? Sorry, not meaning to go off-topic here Mod, and I know it's done in other countries. I just did a double-take when I saw the age of the child. Having said that, who knows what I'll do when my lad is 14. No judgement intended.

hondasam

I am 42 yrs, I have a son who is 25 yrs and two girls 22 yr and 23 yrs, I dreaded the discos, then it was driving, then nite clubs drinking boyfriends and girlfriends. at this stage we had it all. when the first one left home i thought i would die but then she decided all three would live together and we were left home alone but to our suprise we actually enjoyed it. we got married very young and its just weird that now we have this big house all to ourselves. last year the all went to australia and the was different as the could not just come home aft work for dinner. then the all moved home again and it is hard to get used to all the comming and going again. my point really is when the are small its so nice to know where the are but as the grow up you learn to adapt to the changes. my kids work together and live together and we are a really close family who still holiday together and that is down to been honest and upfront with them during the teenage years. we all want to shelter them but there is a big bad world out there waiting for them. just enjoy the different stages because it will go by so fast.

Beruthiel

Fittle wrote: »

I thought drinking under the age of 18 was illegal? Sorry, not meaning to go off-topic here Mod, and I know it's done in other countries. I just did a double-take when I saw the age of the child. Having said that, who knows what I'll do when my lad is 14. No judgement intended.

Illegal in public places.
A dash of Tia Maria in a glass of milk with a parent in your own home, not a problem.
I'm not talking about feeding her drink here. I'm talking about one glass so that she could have a taste. Hence, nipping the curiosity in the bud. Worked a treat btw.

Nevyn

Fittle wrote: »

I thought drinking under the age of 18 was illegal? Sorry, not meaning to go off-topic here Mod, and I know it's done in other countries. I just did a double-take when I saw the age of the child. Having said that, who knows what I'll do when my lad is 14. No judgement intended.

It is illegal for them to drink in a pub, to have drink bought for them, for them to buy drink and for them to be intoxicated but A drink at home under parental supervision is not illegal.

Fittle

Wow, that's the first I've heard of that! I honestly wasn't aware of that:rolleyes:

And tia maria & milk is my fave drink in the whole world btw....ur daughter has great taste;)

KittyeeTrix

I have to admit I wasn't the most patient of parents when my kids were younger but now that they are 8,11,13 and 16 I can honestly say I'm enjoying the parenting more.

It's kind of funny cos my husband was more able for the baby stage than I was but now he is finding the teenage years tougher.

My 2 eldest are boys and I suppose this has been easier than if they were girls. I know I will worry more about her and so have been chatting with her about boys, sex and respect in an effort to keep the lines of communication open for when she hits the 15-16 year mark.....

I've also been having little chats when out in the car with the lads as it is easier than sitting down face to face, well, what I mean is that is less embarassing for them when I'm not staring at them when chatting about sex, condoms etc

They know my views on things and I've told them that I will not judge or freak out if they come to me with a situation but rather I will advise them:).

I've told them to come to me if they are unsure about anything and we will figure out the safe move rather than deal with issues afterwards.....Just hope it works:)

Khannie

Yeah, we strongly discouraged the youngfella from taking the drink part of the pledge during his confirmation (just as my parents did with me) largely because we want to introduce him to drink ourselves well before he's 18.

metrovelvet

I dont know. I love the toddler stage. After all the sleeplessness, the work, the grind, the graft, and now... the personality is emerging. Its like watching a garden you put everything into start to bloom. But he still has the elements of his babyhood in him, and I am acutely aware that in two months or so that will be gone and he will be a little boy. For me, there is a bittersweetness to it.

littlebug

I just love the ages they are now but then again I think I've been saying that at every stage after once the sleep settled. I do look forward to them growing up and seeing what they'll be like and will they follow their current interests. I think they'll be lovely interesting people (slightly biased though :pac:).
The thought of them leaving home fills me with dread but maybe I'll have changed my mind on that in 10 years time.
Actually one of the things that scares me about them growing up how I'll be ageing alongside them. When the youngest is 25 I'll be 60 :eek:

cazzycaz

I,m not sure that you are ever free of your kids!!! My oldest is 19 and my youngest is 5 and still enjoy seeing whats going to happen next. Don't like the teenage years but you can only hope that they come out the other side as good happy adults.:)

smelltheglove

Gustavo Tangy Oak wrote: »

Why? What age is your child?

I have 2, age 3 and 8.

My eldest just told me today she has her first crush, Justin Bieber, mind the 2 of them have been going on about him for weeks. To be honest I think it is more my hubbie that is dreading the boyfriend phase. I wouldnt be a typical girly girl but I love doing other peoples hair and makeup and nails etc, so I am looking forward to helping the girls out with all of these and just seeing their personalities, I can already imagine what they will be like and when it comes to boyfriends I think the eldest one will be the hardest, because she is so sensitive, the little one being a cheeky little sod I think she'll be giving as much as she gets.

I think for me the excitement is hugely based on the fact that I didnt really have a close relationship with my mother in the teenage years as I grew up with my dad so I really am looking forward to sharing with the girls all the moments I missed as a girl.

KittyeeTrix

smelltheglove wrote: »

I have 2, age 3 and 8.

My eldest just told me today she has her first crush, Justin Bieber, mind the 2 of them have been going on about him for weeks. To be honest I think it is more my hubbie that is dreading the boyfriend phase. I wouldnt be a typical girly girl but I love doing other peoples hair and makeup and nails etc, so I am looking forward to helping the girls out with all of these and just seeing their personalities, I can already imagine what they will be like and when it comes to boyfriends I think the eldest one will be the hardest, because she is so sensitive, the little one being a cheeky little sod I think she'll be giving as much as she gets.

I think for me the excitement is hugely based on the fact that I didnt really have a close relationship with my mother in the teenage years as I grew up with my dad so I really am looking forward to sharing with the girls all the moments I missed as a girl.

I'm the same with my daughter......
My mum grew up in an Industrial School and never was able to get close in that special mother-daughter way, don't get me wrong, she'd lay down her life for me but she wasn't able to give hugs or have close chats as she never had that herself and didn't know how I guess:(. That was one of the worst complaints we had when it came to her applying for redress, the effect her upbringing had on her relationship with her kids!!!

We would never have gone shopping, chatted pop music or messed with make up. Already I have a close relationship with my 11 year old daughter. We watch all the girlie programmes together and regularly go for shopping trips with each other which is great. I look forward to when she is older and maybe even having the odd social night out together if she doesn't think I'm too uncool to be around. I realise I will probably lose her to some extent when she is in her teenage years but know that we will reonnect again, if you will, when she gets thru' those years:)

smelltheglove

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

I'm the same with my daughter......

I think its something taken for granted. The likes of you and me may enjoy it more than most as we didnt experience it ourselves. Of course I had my mam weekends and that but still obviously it wasnt the typical mother daughter relationship and as much as my dad did for us, and I respect him completely, there are things that dads and girls dont do together, like makeup or discussing boys and periods and that so I am looking forward to it. Im glad they'll get all the things that I missed and I really look forward to sharing it with them. I'm very young at heart and I did enjoy my teens but there was some stuff that I know I could have coped with better had I had a more intimate parental relationship. Hugs werent galore for us either, we had huge amounts of laughter and comical moments with my dad being so happy and upbeat as he is but not hugs and I make sure I hug my girls constantly now, I am so grateful for the relationship I have with them and I really hope as they get older it stays the way it is.

nesf

Beruthiel wrote: »

Illegal in public places.
A dash of Tia Maria in a glass of milk with a parent in your own home, not a problem.
I'm not talking about feeding her drink here. I'm talking about one glass so that she could have a taste. Hence, nipping the curiosity in the bud. Worked a treat btw.

Parents did the exact same thing with me. They even roped me in to get my younger brother drunk to find out what kind of drunk he was (he was a happy, quiet one thankfully). Though that last part stems from there being some violent/angry drunks in the extended family rather than being a general point etc.

kelle

Beruthiel wrote: »

I also dreaded the teenage years, turns out they weren't so bad at all.
Fully educating your child ahead of time on all aspects of what being a teenager is like can really smooth the way.
Also, talking to instead of talking at really helped.

I love the fact she's a grown up now.
I get to have total freedom in my comings and goings again. Tis great.

Great wisdom in your post, Beruthiel.

A girl I went to school with has just had her 2nd baby, 21 years after having her first! Could you imagine starting all over again? I break out in a sweat thinking about her, but she is enjoying it.

My children are 9, 7 and 3 and I am enjoying them. I did not enjoy the baby or toddler stages at all, I love when they reach a stage where you don't need to watch them so closely and predict their next move.

However, my 7yo daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's so I am worried about her teenage years - it's a difficult enough time, but worse when you feel different but want to be like everybody else.

Sleepy

Like most other dads I'm utterly dreading the teenage years even though my daughter's not even 2 yet! Her mum was an absolute tearaway in her teens and we're both hoping beyond hope that it's not hereditary!

I have silly daydreams about taking photography trips with her when she's a young woman, cool places to go off on holidays together etc. so in some ways I'm looking forward to her being grown up, though I really dread the day when she stops getting excited because I'm home from work

KittyeeTrix

kelle wrote: »

Great wisdom in your post, Beruthiel.

A girl I went to school with has just had her 2nd baby, 21 years after having her first! Could you imagine starting all over again? I break out in a sweat thinking about her, but she is enjoying it.

My children are 9, 7 and 3 and I am enjoying them. I did not enjoy the baby or toddler stages at all, I love when they reach a stage where you don't need to watch them so closely and predict their next move.

However, my 7yo daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's so I am worried about her teenage years - it's a difficult enough time, but worse when you feel different but want to be like everybody else.

i can understand what you are feeling Kelle, my youngest son has been diagnosed as being dispraxic. I too am worried about him reaching his teenage years and his akwardness setting him apart from his peers...:(

Will just have to do my best to be there for him I suppose and help him cope as best as I can:)

metrovelvet

My three year old asked me yesterday where he came from. So no, not really if these are the questions I can expect at three.

alibride

i love my 2.5 yr old so much, everything is so new to him and he is so innocent. i dread the day he comes home with a girl plastered in tan, make up, eyeliner and a skirt up her ass!!!
Me and hubbie were quite wild when we were younger so i know he'll be the same (he is wild as it is)!!
But like previous posters have said i cant wait to see him start school, grow into the teenage yrs and become a man!! It scares me thinking of it....