Another internet dilemma

LegacyUser

Met a guy on the internet 3 weeks ago, getting on great, dating happily, meeting each others kids friends family etc. On the surface he's a kind caring considerate man. But he's still active on the site logging in every few days, its possible to check this out through google search and I have myself driven mad checking to see if he's logged on. I'm not on the site anymore, because he's someone that I want to work on building a relationship with. I thought he did too. I havent said anything at this stage but I think I should ask him why he's still on it.

Its really causing me a lot of stress, and in one way taking the good out of the whole thing. and it makes me feel that maybe trust is going to be an issue. Am I unreasonable in expecting him to have taken off his profile?? I havent said anything yet, but have decided today I should ask him why he's still on it. Any thoughts anyone??

Nevyn

Because people make online firendships on those sites and log in to talk to those friends
and 3 weeks is very short time to be expecting someone to start changing thier life for you.

SarahSassy

Its very early to be meeting his kids?

Ickle Magoo

Calm down! Three weeks? That's still at the getting to know/do I want a relationship with this person stage. Careful you don't scare him off if you are checking up on his profile & expecting status changes after only three weeks!

Miss Fluff

worryworry wrote: »

I'm not on the site anymore, because he's someone that I want to work on building a relationship with. I thought he did too.

Rather than THINK it, would you not consider SAYING it if you think you've that much of a future?

And on another note, sounds to me like it is moving at breakneck speed. 3 weeks?? And you're meeting each others kids and families? What's the rush here?

Have you confirmed the fact that you are going to give it a go and exclusive? If not, then him being on the site shouldn't really be an issue as you're only dating.....

smiles302

Eh why are you checking up on him?

Starting a relationship with someone is taking a gamble that you can trust them, if you can't bring yourself to trust him and already feel the need to check up on him, are you sure you are ready for a relationship?

mood

SarahSassy wrote: »

Its very early to be meeting his kids?

Yes. Why meet each others kids and families when you haven't even discussed if you are now boyfriend/girlfriend?

LegacyUser

Yes, it is moving a breakneck speed and maybe I need to slow the pace down, for both of us on this.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Miss Fluff

You've a better chance of the relationship lasting if you relax and re-set the pace a little. Moving along so quickly and so intensely at the start can set an impossible precedent and oftentimes it can fizzle out before it even had the chance to get started.

Enjoy this time getting to know one another while going about your life as you normally would rather than putting tremedous pressure on yourself, him and the relationship....

LegacyUser

agreed with the previous poster that relationship is a bit like gamble. learn to trust him and communicate with him.

the person i met on internet, we are still fresh. we talked one day and s/he said it's better we logoff, delete the profile, to make things easier for us. afterall, if things dont go well, it's easy to set up an account again. but by doing this, i dont mean this relationship is 'exclusive'. we just think too many people chatting up make the relationship a little bit too complicated. and deleting the account can help focus a little bit on our fresh relationship. if things go well, good. if things dont go well, no harm cutting out yourself from a dating web site for a bit of time.

maybe you can suggest this too? and if he wants to keep friend with some, ask him to contact them through email or facebook instead of on dating web site?